2019

2018
Was not the best of the years in my life
I continued to share a lot and maybe some I should not have
seems computer and writing is a habit.

Tonight I turn the computer on
and thankful for so many that send words of encouragement.

Year ended with the last shot in my knee, the most painful one and fluid just returns, guess that is what it does.   Might not seek this route again.

This one will continue doing all she can to help the issues arising  until I grow weary of doing so
but vow not to leave my much-loved cottage.

Will post less, unless I see something with the camera I cannot resist.

Weary of sharing aging issues
all apart of life continuing when you are ancient.
Very fortunate that most did not surface until in my 70,s

My family will be pleased to hear this
but when they are my age, some of my words will surface

Thank you again
all who warm me with their words.

Wish I could hug you.

At the moment
I want a clear and quiet mind and an open heart.
Sounds easier than done.

No downscaling so much has been done for several years.   I what is left and the memories that arise.

SO HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EACH OF YOU
FOLLOW YOUR HEART IN ALL MATTERS.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP
MANY OF YOU HAVE BROUGHT
AND NEW ONES SEEM TO CONTINUE TO  FIND ME.

ON THIS DAY

BE STILL

BE QUIET

;LET THE MIND REST

DISCOVER WHO YOU REALLY ARE



Sounds like good advice
for this one

last Hydraulic Acid shot last Friday
so glad it is over.

MORNING

A morning filled with fog and frost.

Now the sun is shining and beautiful

 

Remembering

My youngest granddaughter
so
musically talented.

Plays many instruments

I remember her playing her play guitar as a youngster
and took her to the local  guitar store and bought her a real one
she was so proud and repeatedly said to me
"grandma this is a real one, did it cost a lot of money?)

A memory surfaced as I heard she is now playing the Saxophone.

So proud of you Amelia

Love, grandma

Today

Wrote a post on returning from a second Hydraulic Acid shot in the knee.
Yes wrote it and then somehow deleted my sharing.

All is well, more fluid drained and told I have osteoarthritis and draining knee of fluid will be something happening more then I expected.

This shot has not given me the pain I experienced with the first shot.   Next week 3rd and last shot
and hopefully helps me for 6 months.

Hoping for the best and seems Hydraulic Fluid is made from Rooster Cones :)

I no longer do FaceBook and like the simplicity of Instagram
posted an image today of  me holding  my first grandchild who has given me my first greatgrandchild

Brene Brown
tells me

"Talk to yourself
the way you would
talk to someone you loved"

A New Way and the Knee Shots

There was a time that I rearranged my furniture often.

Not anymore
but
with me directing will try.

I like it like this, only one chair too many.  I bought a new recliner when I went to the awful place, really like it, goes up and down easy. The older recliner is probably 30 years old and my son when
he visits likes to sit in it.  It was too big for me.

Too many chairs, but - one I rocked my babies in, another favorite picture is me holding Jimmy in
this chair when he was a toddler.  A pair of wing chairs are 60 years old and better constructed
than most today.   So 98% memory pieces and must mention books that are piled in every room
and I must go through them, love them all.
Helper took me to have hair washed, on the way I told him "take me home, not going through with this, so weary of these procedures, now thankful he replied "little one I am not taking you home
we are going through with this, now I thank him.  Jamie met us at hair wash place and with me from then on   My first Hydraulic Acid shot was the most painful shot I remember.  A lot of fluid drained off of knee before the shot.   That night I was awake most of the night and continued on until 1:00 the next day with
pain.   Part of the reason I did not want to take medication and finally for a day and a half am taking
and much better.   Next shot is due on Tuesday and one 10 days later

Hoping for relief for a number of months when the procedure is done,
Ashamed of sharing how I behave but do not like all that is happening and nothing I can do about it but "accept and helpful son says "breathe."  I want to wash my own hair but cannot at this time......

So, I am now ancient and do not behave well :)

My nurse doctor said part of the solution from Rooster Cones :) must read about that.

Ice

I wake in the night and small vaporizer by my bed is off, my thought, it is out of the water.
Not so, I turn on light and no current.
It is 4:30 AM, I am up and in a few hours this is the view

on this country rural road, no electricity happens often but took until afternoon to come on.

At 8:00 AM, one arrives with hot biscuits and my N,Y, Times at the end of the long road.
Church breakfast and she thought of me.  Next, helper girl calls "are you alright, do you have
electricity?  She tells me her and friend knowledgeable about gas logs (that will not come on
will arrive soon.  Logs not coming on and her friend gives me the number  I have not been
able to find of the son of a special friend who is head of the electrical department.  I call him and on
this day not making house calls, but he arrives soon to check on me and logs.  Starts them not
in the normal way, he shares a problem and he does not want me to be in a cold house as the temperature is dropping and will check on me later.

So thankful and how to put into words How Very Thankful for those I know in this small community
So thank you to Lana, Michelle, Randy, and Sam - to this one you are Angels.

Electricity came on an hour ago and nice to have hot tea, soup and 1/2 of sandwich from the
grandmother's small iron skillet (like it better than the toaster.

Told a lot of trees down from ice and across my drive and visitors around them.

So day is ending, heat on and I am so very thankful. for those who thought of me.

MY DREAM

In my next life maybe
you will find me here

In this weekend's New York Times an article
with the Title
An ancient corner of Italy finds itself at the world's doorstep.

It is Saturday morning and will just continue sharing.

Tabor, thank you always for your kind comments. on my recent entry.

Another night of severe pain and wonder without the lowest dose of Hydrocodone what would it be
like.   So I continue onward with thankfulness for much and do not like a lot at this time of life.
One who takes me on errands says "I do not want to grow old and I reply "good luck."
My son tells me often "mama nothing remains the same and life is always changing."

My helper girl last night came in with a small bag, contained tea and honey and said to replace some
she uses of mine and I replied: "no way do you do this."   We sat at the big table sharing, she is complimentary of much I have done in this now long life and I compliment her.  She is very intelligent and her help so appreciated.   Her husband and son she lost, it was tragic, I listen to her
share and it seems our sharing makes my pain level less.

Cold, but as I look out the window, the sun may break through the clouds.   When it is very cold and the sun shines it just seems much warmer.

The thought arises should I make myself go to another special one to have hair washed.  Probably not a good idea. when I get up from this desk and walking difficult, I think where is my mind and plan on going on Tuesday for hair before doctor appointment.

I do not like having someone else wash my hair, but no longer can do it.  The special hairdresser
did Jamie's hair for her wedding.   Cindy not in on Monday, so Tuesday morning before doctor
appointment will be good for me.   I will get a ride to shop and Jamie can pick me up then
instead of at home, at the moment sounds like a good plan.

Need to unload washer, straighten kitchen and get off of my friend "the computer."

Thanks for listening....

Here By The Woods

One day sunny and beautiful
at the moment a cold spell.
A bad 24 hours with stomach, but on the mend
Finally appointments for knee injections.
They are called Hydraulic Acid, what you use at the end and sounds like they are for a car.

First one is next Tuesday afternoon and hopefully, some relief begins.
Another shot following week and then the last after Christmas.

Jamie is taking me and so thankful for her time.

Jimmy is in Saigon and some pictures sent.

My helper made a favorite recipe "French Coconut Pie" and so good.

She shared an image of Ginger Bread House she is making and do not think I would have the patience.

Soon a new year and the thoughts arise how fast this year has gone by and so much happened to me
But so thankful to be in my cottage by the woods

Two down and one more next week

Second shot at 1:30 today and at the moment nowhere near the pain as last week.

I thought knee swollen but it was full of fluid once again and was drained.

Asked "what will make me not have fluid,"  told you will probably always have the fluid
since this is OsteoArthritis.   Hydraulic Acid shot, slow release last about 6 months, fluid will
probably have to be removed every couple of months if causes pain - ans it does.

Nurse daughter told me that Hydraulic Acid is made from Rooster Cones, interesting.

Thankful it is over and Jamie being with me.   Next week will have my special assistant here at home
go with me if she is available.   If not will go,  just me and act grown up.

I no longer  do Facebook, like Instagram and posting old photo's and new ones are taken with my camera

Above image is the ancient one holding Jessica as a baby, my first grandchild who a year ago gave me my first
great-grandson.

So happy at the moment no pain like last week from the shot.

"Talk to yourself
like you would talk to someone
you love"

Brene Brown

This Day

Torrential rain all night and still falling.

Lunchtime, have to eat

roast beef - gouda cheese, tomato, and basil, toasted in a small iron skillet - so good.

these with Salmon dip

Something excellent for me I just discovered on Amazon,  a cream that dissolves on your skin and even helping the
Shingles on my face.
Using it all over my body daily.

My scales say 101 lbs, 11 lb gain in a month with help of an appetite pill.   I will stop
the pill when I reach 105 lbs, my goal is 110 lbs
.
Horrible pain and taking 3 times a day, low dose of Hydrocodone.  Helping but never anything
this strong in the past, but need it.'

TODAY

A quick trip to the market and two other places, someone with me.

At the market bought a 15 inch Lemon Cypress Tree - my Christmas Tree :)

will put on deck in the Spring

Told it has a Lemon Scent
if you crush the needles in your hand.

Quiet

A good Thanksgiving dinner and visit with local family.  Oh, my granddaughters have grown so and it seems like yesterday they visited me so often and so entertaining,

Quiet, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

So no leftovers and tired of them anyway
so what to eat.   I made potato soup beginning with chopped carrots, onions, celery and a few butternut squash pieces,    Was so good, simple and easy to cook.   Covered it with grated cheese

Just finished an order from Amazon
for Himalayan salt, I use and suppose to be full of extra benefits and need all available to this one,

I copied an easy recipe for a Pumpkin Souffle.

If it turns out well
will share.

Do not like the fact that Christmas music was playing during Thanksgiving.

Soup finished, have enough for a bowl this evening,  dishes done and now time to read the New York Times.

Best Wishes to Everyone.

An addition

rarely eat cereal but spotted the other day
a lot of nutrition and I let it soften in milk
before I tried.
I usually cook an egg & toast or waffle with banana

I COPIED THE TREE AND WORDS

I copied the tree and words from Tabor

Love tree's and these words

Thank you
Tabor

Hope it was alright.....

We Gather Together

All day
the lyrics to the song I sang in church for years has been going through my mind
Loved this song, always enjoyed singing

"We Gather Together
to ask the Lord's Blessing.
He hastens and chastens his will to make known
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing
Sing praises to his name, he forgets not his own.

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining

Above the beginning words
written anonymous in the year 1597

HAPPY THANKSGIVING
TO EVERYONE

My special helper
made my cornbread for me to use in my dressing tomorrow
Sat and directed her and flipped it out of the pan :) perfectly it came out

She did perfectly

Michelle
thank youyou did perfectly

My Friend

The huge tree I pass going down my drive

This image does not do you justice
I know that this one could not wrap her arms around you.

When I pass you
the thought arises
what stories you could tell me and I wonder how old you are.

Wish you could talk and share with this ancient one.

Maybe we are both survivors
I know in my heart you have made it many more years
then I will.

That is fine
since you are a tree with sturdy roots
but this one
has been a survivor, a fighter all of her life
and will remain so
until the end.

BEAUTIFUL

A BEAUTIFUL CARD
FROM MY DAUGHTER IN TAMPA

MISSING HER AND HER FAMILY

Thoughts

A lot has improved and some things no different.

I read what I write and all looks well and it is really not so.

Still, struggle with Shingles on the right side of the face, so much research done about nerve damage
and it may disappear or never,  It affects my sight and hearing on the right side.  It is what it is
and have to accept.

Walking and balance not good, need to keep moving but better when I rest more and seems difficult for me to learn something
so simple.   Always up by 5:00, stay busy until noon and then energy ceases.  I rest a while and seem to be better.

Thanksgiving will be different, I only like my dressing and will make, contribute fresh Brussel Sprouts,
fresh fried corn from a friends garden,  tea, and fresh rolls.   Girls will bring the turkey, more sides, and pie.

Looking forward with all my heart to seeing those who are local, miss family who are a long distance away.

I have the thought  "what did you think it would be like when you passed 80 and I reply to myself "not like this" unrealistic I was, never thinking I would have to stop or slow down much I have loved to do.
So onward I go trying to do everything I need to do

Ever thankful for so much.
I am up, on computer, reading, the view from my windows is amazing, using my camera,
trips to market with limited help and
so thankful to be in my home surrounded by nature

Butternut Squash Soup

Another day, two days ago a quick morning trip to the market with a helper (very weary)
restocked a lot as it seems I am eating small amounts of a lot, want to gain weight faster :)

so now what to prepare for 3:00 meal.

Butternut Squash soup.    So pleased I directed morning helper to chop a lot of veggies and put in
bags in the freezer for me to use as an addition to what I am trying to prepare.

Will add some onion, chopped carrots, celery to squash along with vegetable broth.

Good for the evening meal.

I am taking a pill to increase my appetite and it works.   8 weeks ago no appetite and I now
think a lot about food, what I use to prepare and looking through my recipes.  What a change.

I might add it is a bitter cold and windy day here by the woods....

Continuing Onward

A healing lunch
the last bowl of soup I duplicated from my granddaughter Sarah.
Brocilli, Cauliflower, Potato, and assorted vegetables, cooked and creamed with coconut milk, blended until creamy,  so good.
My favorite Sweet Potato crackers, Gouda Cheese and been probably 40 years for this drink
Bloody Mary, the best Vodka, V8 juice, olive stuffed with cheese (cannot drink a small amount of wine as it burns my mouth,  Ending with a slice of the best fruitcake I could find online (always' made my own_
So a continuing to heal meal, have gained 6 lbs, many yet to add to this small frame. eating every 2 hours

While eating I hear the tractor, been calling for days, another blessing before rain expected
and soon green wheat will fill the field.

Safe Trip

Up to look at Emails

and he made it safely back to another land.

I Smile
at my memories.

God is so Good to me.

I will continue onward

feel it in my heart.

Thank you to all of  you who take the time to read my rambling and respond to me

you are all Angels

Love,
from one woman who is now ancient and lives by the edge of the woods.....

Missing Him

They pull out the long country drive
I vow to not let him see me cry.....

I say
thank you over and over
the words so simple
but heartfelt

He leaves his mama
feeling better than when he arrived

He tells me to keep resting, moving and eating
and he will return in March

God Bless him
Safe travel wishes
sent.

My mind begins
how in the world
have I lost almost a year?

So I pass on
Never take anything in this life for granted.

I have so much to be thankful for
and maybe
the Good Lord
is going to give me more time
on this planet
surrounded by my nature filled environment.

THANK YOU

Sarah, thank you
I did it
Cauliflower soup.

Love you
grandma

Relearning much

patience, never my gift

weak, need 15 lbs, eating every 2 hours, difficult to imagine what happened

thank you to everyone.

My granddaughter the chef has brought me many soups
and this one my favorite.

An addition of many veggies, chicken broth and coconut milk for this soup cook all day
and then blended is so good.

Continuing onward, the son leaves for Thailand soon and will miss him.



.

My First Great Grandchild made a Visit

He is Beautiful.

Thank You

Short note.
It seems God
is blessing me.

A long way to go
but moving, eating and thankful.

So much we take for granted in life.

My son came from Thailand to be with me
and 5 days after his arrival
his father passed away, heart, very quickly and peacefully,
Funeral, Tuesday morning, many in the family, far and wide will visit me on Wednesday.

Thank you again for the many encouraging and healing words.


Love you
the lady in the woods

So Sorry

I struggle to write.

Thank you, everyone, for your special words, encouragement, and friendship.

A miracle if I bounce back
always believed in miracles
but may not happen

Told last week
my immune system was shutting down

struggling too even move

So many things I believed in my life
not happening

Hospice has been called in

So sorry for my family
and do not want to linger like this

I will say
the mind is still fine.

A lot of help arriving
but never wanted help doing the things I love....

Busy Family

Granddaughter Sarah is in Nashville
A 10 mile run with optical' s along the way.
and she was successful.

A strong young woman who is a chef

One of my younger granddaughter's
today was the beginning of viewing colleges.
Seems like yesterday they were sitting in my Jamie's lap on my screen porch.

Time continues to go by at a rapid pace.
and that new great-grandson
is always smiling

A busy year
for my family,

Confession

I need to realize that at the moment
do not need to be on the computer.

Posted this image on Instagram
or rather
tried too
and son's head not in the picture :)

A memory picture, maybe my Jamie can correct.

Remember

Special words on a rainy Sunday from
Cate at "Beyond the Fields We Know."

When the journey we are on presently seems to be over
remember there is no real end

There may be journeys within journeys.....

Sharon Blackie   "If Women Rose Rooted"

It is now Tuesday afternoon
a cool day.

The image on my header is a picture taken by my Jamie last Sunday
on her visit to the country.
I love it
seems the old Buddha which my son brought here from his yard 10 years ago
is blending into the tree.

Jamie, thank you for using your camera when you made a visit.

A Blessing

My first grandchild and granddaughter

sent me this picture

My great-grandson

he is beautiful at 8 months

they all are.

So happy to receive this image

Baby Hummingbirds

Baby Hummingbirds
are so tame

This image was taken yesterday,

Missing my Callie but she is in a good place with Jamie's family
I cannot trip over her
and I wonder
does she remember me :(

Arthritis in right hand
and I have never had there before
sure is a painful right hand

Praying Mantis

I cannot take credit for this image
the fact is
last night my special helper  who arrives some evening and what would I do without her
opens the outside door and calls
come quickly with your camera
I grab cane or walker and so slow
grab the camera, open the door and say
I can't make it outside
I hand her my camera
you take the picture of the Praying Mantis
I have been watching for
so what a wonderful picture
she has 2 eyes and one ear
I read a lot of information
and she eats her male mate
after mating
no comment

my special helper of 6 months
she is the best
and I thank her for these images on my front porch

Doctor appointment
this early morning.

New Beginnig

It was a new beginning over 40 years ago,  a country setting in over a 100-year-old home
and I never looked back.  It was a change from the huge home in the busy city.

 I left several times but always returned to this land.
It is where I belong and Peace seldom leaves.  Miss much at this time of life, my continual gardening
and grooming I did of this land has changed, long walks in the woods and I miss it, but life changes in many ways and I remember these words
"Nothing Remains the Same."

Now for 10 years in a cottage which is all I need I built on this land and I can see the years old home  and barn I love from my window,
my gardens remain but smaller, need some help, continue to write and the camera is always with me.
So life continues really good just different.

September has arrived with more hot days.  When I hear a cricket in this cottage I will know
Fall has arrived

My Blessing

This precious baby boy born last December is my first great-grandchild given to me by my
first granddaughter - Jessica who lives and teaches in New York.

Collard Greens are simmering, not because I like them but because they are full of things good for you.   Was weary of broccoli and bok choy.
 I will use for stir fry at 5:00.   Next batch will put in the chopper to make smaller
as easier to chew.   Shingles still doing a number on this one.  I will add a handful of yellow squash
red, green and yellow peppers, and a few large shrimp and a dash of Soy Sauce when greens are tender.

A quiet Labor Day, not like the past with family gatherings and grill on.  Miss the smell of the grill
and charcoal burning, of all things, miss a hot dog cooked on the grill or on a stick over the fire pit.
Do not like any other way and drenched with my chili and covered with cheese.
Gives you good heartburn :)  Miss steak and chicken cooked on the grill.

With 90 degrees this one does not need to fill the grill with charcoal for one.

But a request is issued when family visit and cooler weather arrives.

'Some say

You write well

You take good pictures

and I reply "that is my mind

the body not doing that well.

But that is OK

I am still moving and doing a lot.''

Just Now

They make me smile and feel blessed

Heat Returned

The cool mornings were a delight for this one
but they have left
an hour ago 98 on my screen porch.

A package from my Beth arrived, felt like Christmas with 2 simple coloring books which I like,
the ink pens I use, new mouse pad and samples of cologne from the upscale shop she goes too.
All so welcome.

Seems shots to help the pain in shoulder and knees have now expired, so not a good week body wise.
Pleased mind continues on in all matters and trying so to think good and thankful thoughts.

Jet Pack I use to connect to the internet just stopped so many calls to Verizon and pleased
computer back in service as new one arrived late yesterday.  Connection in my rural area is not the best and what in the world
would I do without my computer?

"Inner Peace begins the moment
you choose not to allow another person
or event to control your emotions"

Pema Chodron

regarding the quote
I am still learning

Happiness Is

Happiness is
a surprise visit from your daughter Beth.

While I prepare a simple quick meal of Salmon Croquettes, Bok Choy, and fresh Corn
she goes outside
I go out to look for her
and a small bird is sitting on her hand
and the moment before on her head.

Beth is smiling as I share "told you  a lot of  special nature surrounds this cottage''
after a moment the tiny bird flew away

Simple Things

For me

Happiness is waking in the morning to 60-degree weather
opening your screen door
and hearing nature sounds

Happiness is
after a long day
you sit on the bench on your terrace
and view birds and butterflies in such an abundance
they almost sit on your shoulder

and this early morning
a beautiful doe is standing in your backyard.

And at the moment spaghetti sauce is simmering on the stove.

Life is Good

Been a rough week with a dental appointment that made Shingles a little worse.