Warm

So hot outside

Looks like rain all next week
so pleased wheat was cut.  A small harvest compared to over 40 years ago when I moved
to this land, sold half of it over the last 40 plus years, but knew in my heart I would someday return to where I built a small home and live now

The field looks so clean and neat.

Blood pressure still not where it should not be as it goes really high during the night

Nurse daughter came today, had some thoughts and contacted who you could reach by phone
after hours.

I thank her for her suggestions and help.

It will be resolved in time but makes me really anxious when so high at 3:00 AM.

Plan on returning to where PaceMaker was put in and some tests and blood work will be done
just takes time and I want it resolved immediately.

A memory picture, the year the field was filled with corn.
Now they are teenagers.

If anyone on Instagram, join me
I really like
a picture and a few words are all there is to it.

But really
same picture I post on my journal

In The Garden

Orchids have begun blooming

sharing a few plants
and since I lost last year gardening
I am so pleased with these.
Not a good week
seems blood pressure up to 200 plus again
Doctor appointment tomorrow
and will increase some medication.

Dislike sharing
but severe panic attack this morning.
Do not like what is going on
and I feel as though much being treated for
they do not know.

May just put up a gate
shut it
never leave
and enjoy my garden, home, and creatures that visit.

Girls busy and truly do not understand much
I understand but guess I want a hug
see how childish I am.

Fair Trade

Weekly
my neighbor brings me fresh eggs
and I give her

the Sunday New York Times
the only paper I subscribe too.

Fairtrade
I would say..

Storms

Just before dark last night, the phone rang.
I usually do not answer the phone after 7:00
still earlier and picked up the receiver
it was my nurse daughter, she shared of storm warnings and said turn on the television.
I rarely turn it on at this time of life and did not.

Oh my what a storm and have trees in the drive, gutters running over and some outside furniture
not where it was placed.

Lights went out and all of this I found upsetting but got through it.  When lights and phone came back on it seemed for some reason lights upstairs were on, I no longer go up there without help, but did try
and halfway came back downstairs as it unnerved me.   Have not heard from anyone
and started raining again this morning.   A new young man that helped with my roof called and said when the rain
stops he will arrive and clean out gutters and the trees, thank you, Jose.

Also, have a sink leaking and water turned off in my bathroom.  Put necessities in the utility room
The first thing to go wrong since I built this smaller home by the woods, so that is good.

Received a picture from my daughter and looks like my granddaughter who gave me my first
great-grandchild last year is presenting me another one in November :)

Jessica, husband and that 19-month-old great grandson are on their way to Italy.  Safe travel wishes
and have a wonderful time,  May start reading all my favorite books about Italy.

Have decided to let my special driver take me to Nashville once a month, my outing.  We did this yesterday wanted to
go to Farmers Market, not much there would be better on a Saturday for special baked goods and plants.  An upscale flower area enjoyed walking through but everything so expensive.
Did buy a Lucky Bamboo plant you put in water, had one years ago and they sure grow fast.
Maybe it will bring me luck

Like this but would not look like my country garden and price outrageous

Headed home, to weary to stop for lunch.
We pass my favorite junk shop and they came down to less then $20 for a bench that helper is
painting the apple red.   I have several places may put it, maybe in the woods by my son's Buddha.

Enough shared
wish I was not so emotional at a time with storms going on, lights going out and a lot more.
But love my home by the woods.

Good Deal

Was not going to write this morning
but
here I am
before a busy day begins

Might add
do not like UTI that hangs on

Junk store finds
but tomato plant a gift from a friend

the bell me
the little chair my son found $2 deal

New paint jobs
love the red
my son says auspicious

My favorite kind of shopping

Today

New Bloom

I know that I am posting a lot lately
but carrying the small camera in my pocket, noticing something new
and taking an image
is like medicine to this One Woman.   I believe my children think I am fine when I post on this journal
and Instagram - but - like I said "it is like medicine" to me, calms me and blesses my soul.

So, What Helps you.....

a new color

Pink Cone Flowers
also, have white that look like bugs eating the bloom

This Spring and Summer is strange, many flowers not blooming, like my Clematis on the screen porch
, no buds all leaves, also a lot of rain.

NATURE

I believe
Nature is healing
Not much done in my garden for 2 years and so pleased many plants returning.

Another subject
all my books are special
like the feel of the paper, holding a book
so

Morning

light rain all night

I open the screen door
and this is what I view

Lord
thank you

So thankful
for the gift of life
and this camera
that is constantly in my pocket

New Blooms

Every day
new blooms
and how I love it

Memory Picture

The way it was

Father of my children
passed away last year

My middle daughter
the nurse
put flowers on his grave today.
Called me to tell me and said she cried.

She was always a daddy's girl
and the last several years
spent much time with him helping him

One daughter does not live here, son in another country
and youngest daughter stays busy working and has two teenagers.

Love you
my Beth

Moving Forward

Busyness seems to never stop
Questions still surface in the mind of all that has happened over almost 2 years.  Much I still cannot remember.  Told to stop searching for answers and just move forward (easier said than done)
Rehab, hospice, shingles, caused nerve damage on the face, painful arthritis, downward I was going and then 3 trips to
ER and a heart attack 3 months ago.

So it seems I have miraculously recovered from much
but now it seems
I no longer am me, a different person with different thoughts and energy level drastically
decreased.  Very thankful but at times not happy with this aging body and mind that is
good and still has thoughts years younger than she is and body cannot do.

All I am told at this time is I am a miracle and move on.  So I smile most of the time, cry
other times and continue to move on.

It has been increasingly difficult to go up to my much enjoyed upstairs and sit by a big window even with help.

So have just about given this up and bringing some items that are special to me downstairs
where I can enjoy them.

Do not care if you can hardly walk downstairs because I am surrounding myself with all I love
and have enjoyed for years and many memories surface regarding them

Wicker table purchased 50 years ago is now downstairs and I am arranging some favorite books
on it.  Stack of Mary Oliver books and ashamed to say I did not know she had passed away
in January at 83 years old,  her books underlined, markers sticking out, tear-stained and have helped me on my journey.

A stack of Chinese poetry books.  My son introduced me to these books and for the life of me
wonder why I feel so much in common with monks who went high into the mountains and lived
with little and hoed the ground for their food.

A stack of This Thich Nhat Hanh books, which my son introduced me too also.

Books everywhere in this cottage on every subject, need to start reading again.

So busy still going through medical bills and papers, girls not here and busy so mama just carries
on at a slow pace.

Thankful for a little garden help, cleaning flower beds and trying to open up some of the paths
in the woods that I cannot walk on unless someone holding my arm and this one holding a cane.
To think several years ago I would walk them almost daily and sometimes with the blower, rake
and with a broom, I would use to sweep them clean.

Maybe I am crazy, but I smile typing this because I am happy to be where I love
living, writing, and camera always in my pocket.  But I still do not like being the way I am
that much I did can no longer do
if this makes sense.

Next, a chair moved downstairs, love chairs and spotted this about 50 years ago.

So will stop sharing, a beautiful day is arriving, up since 4:45 am, need to eat, pick up
N.Y.Times in the drive and rest.

One Woman

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to my firstborn

So proud of you
a new passion that has come about
"your painting."

Two talented grandchildren, you gave me
and now my granddaughter continues with a great-grandson and another one on the way.

Aaron my son-in-law is the best in every way

I am so fortunate for the continued family you have given me.

Enjoy your day


Love you,
Mama

EARLY MORNING VISITOR

OUT FOR A MORNING STROLL

Early morning breakfast
French toast, with bananas, raisins, cinnamon cooked in my old iron skillet with an
addition of Maple Syrup

Day begins.

Sunday Morning

Sprinkling rain
warm
but pleasant
and Humming Birds are happy

In The Woods

A long story
will share some.
Building my cottage 11 years ago, son moving to Thailand, his deteriorating statue placed in my woods
At that time I had made paths all through my woods, would clear with blower and even use the
broom, I loved doing this and planned on planting flowers around the Buddha, maybe placing
an old bench there, a place to meditate.  Never happened.

I ask my special girl helper to go where I directed her, she found him, he is continuing to deteriate\but you still can recognize him and she  took this picture
for me.

Now I will have her carry forth my plans
plant some flowers
and will find an old bench somewhere.

Maybe he can be sprayed with something to slow the deteriorating?

I enjoyed my woods so very much
and have thoughts quite often
of having boy helper tie me on my tractor so I could carry on doing what I have loved doing
a lifetime

Silly. but maybe a good way to go
doing what I love doing :)

Norman Vincent Peale
said
Imagination is the true Magic Carpet

Finally

Finally
a

driver took me to Nashville

saw my little girl
My Callie

Been over a year

I wanted so to bring her home
but this one walking with a cane
cannot fall

Today

I have not failed

I have just found

10,000 ways

that won't work

Thomas Jefferson quote

Morning

Morning in the country

a life long habit of up by 5;00, love the morning
have been told to rest more but morning is my time.

Can't hold my eyes open past 7:30 in the evening
so will continue on
my way.

Bluebirds busy bringing food to their young and I  missed a good image.



Who knows how much longer I can do this?

All I know is I love daybreak and it is my high energy time.