Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Friday Muse From April 2008

Last night I was going through some of my entries that were made a little over 2 years ago. My journal was started in April of 2008.

This a time that I first started writing online as "One Woman's Journey".... could not use this as my title as I was told it was taken. That name has been in my heart for 45 years. So I went with "My Journey To Mindfulness" .

I read this poem and once again all of my children and grandchildren came to mind - want to share it once again - so true...

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with his might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran

Monday, August 30, 2010

Special Sign

A friend came to visit this morning. We shared and covered many subjects. We had fruit tea and deserts that I had on hand.

She brought me something special - maps on Thailand, Asia and Malaysia. These will help me follow my son on his activities in these areas that are so very unfamiliar to his mom.

Also sharing her book by Sylvia Boorstein "Pay Attention, For Goodness Sake."

This time made me so aware that there is just no one else near where I live that is interested in many of the things that I am. I am very thankful for this special time and her friendship is like an unexpected gift to me.

As she was leaving and looking at my garden - a butterfly landed on her shoulder. I did not have my camera and it would have been great to capture this image.

I wonder if this had a special meaning? I choose to believe that it was a good luck omen.

It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writher at your feet.

Franz Kafka

Sunday, August 29, 2010

For Jessi - Far Over The Ocean

Jessi, you asked me to post a picture of my Sour Cream Pound Cake and Zucchini Bread.

I just finished baking this morning and they are still cooling.

The cake is similar to Nan's - but I bake it in a stem pan and put a glaze on it. Like the way it looks on the cake stand. A touch of elegance here in the woods :)

The Zuchinni Bread, I make in 3 small pans instead of 2 larger loaf pans.

Have a good night and day tomorrow.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Correction And "Got You Finally"

Beth did pretty good with her race. She told me with a smile it was a 16 1/2 mile bike race and not 6 1/2 as I shared.

Hey I am pleased at the moment I can even type.

Sitting in my rocking chair and watching the humming birds zoom around - finally was able to get a shot that was not blurry.

I am out of baked goods and tomorrow I am making a sour cream pound cake and zucchini bread.

Where ever you are on this planet have a good evening.

Children, grandchildren, and special friends - thank you for contacting me about One Woman losing her balance, rolling down a small hill and almost knocking herself out :-)

The Race Is On

My middle daughter Beth Ann is part of a Triathlon group. Today they have their last local race of the season. She has been a part of this group for several years and mom is proud of her for taking on the challenge this represents.

300 yards in the pool
6 1/2 mile on bike
3 mile run

Beth has a nursing degree and now is part of the administration at a hospital in Nashville.

So - my special daughter this early morning your mom sends you a bouquet of special good luck wishes.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Thankful Continued

Not to good of a night. I ache all over. I am fine but realize how close I came to not being so fine. Thoughts of how easily an accident can happen - how I love this home and all that I am doing. Thoughts of how old chronologically I am when in reality I think of myself much younger and basically am doing most of what I did 20 years ago. So many thoughts - but then it comes down to mindfulness and being slower.
Seems I have always done things quickly. I need to slow down. I know what to do and now I need to do it.

Finally dawned on me what happened. How stupid of me. I was working on what you would call a small hill - going the wrong way - facing down. I should have been coming up the hill with my planting. So when I tumbled over and tried to catch myself with the hands - they were facing down and I fell on my face.

Right cheekbone and by eye is very swollen and bright red. Guess in the next few days I will have a black eye.

I always keep my cell phone in my pocket but really for a minute or so was stunned and could not think. I have someone who calls daily and usually hear from one of my children each day.

It is so much easier for me to write this online for my children and grandchildren to read then to call and answer phone calls. So - a lot in my daily life is going out over the world.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


I had a bad fall about 2 hours ago. I am alright. Have a black eye and cheekbone is real swollen and black and blue.

I was re potting a plant by my terrace and it is on a slight slope. I was bending over and I went totally forward and fell on my face. Stunned me for a few minutes and I was quite shaken.

I have some vertigo and must have lost my balance.

The tears finally stopped. This frightened me. I love my home in the woods and this has made me more aware that I need to be careful. Cell phone always in pocket and Miss Callie sat beside me looking at me. If her eyes could have spoke - she was wondering what happened to her mistress.

I am so thankful I did not break anything. My shoulder, neck, arm, wrist and hand are sore. I am putting ice on my face and getting ready to eat some cabbage soup that has been simmering. After eating I will take a couple of Motrin.

It has left me so aware how easily an accident can happen and how easily someone can break a bone.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Last Week Of August

Early this morning what did I see as I drove down the country road to take care of business in the small town?

The weather has changed drastically over the last 5 days. Mornings in the 60's and the daytime
80's, and it is delightful.

The tabacco barn reminded me of fall. I stopped at the side of the road - hoping I could get an image of the smoke coming out of the barn. Thankful no one came over the slight rise in the road and hit my truck.

I wish we could put this late summer sunhlight in jars. I can see how it would look with the jars ranged in the fruit cellar. And on a dark January day we would bring up a quart or so of sunshine and open it and smell again the warm dreamy air of a late summer day".

Gladys Taber "The Book of Stillmeadow"

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It Never Stops And Surprise

Somewhere in my younger days - I had the thought that once my children were grown and married that depths of my concern and worry would be lightened. There was a time in that beginning that I forgot about grandchildren. So the fact with this One Woman is it stays the same and even seems to penetrate the heart deeper or it is just because I am older. Have not figured that out at the moment.

At this moment on my mind - little one who stuck a Q-tip in her ear and punctured her ear drum. Grandma sends healing and "never stick anything in your ear, eye or nose" thoughts.

One so gifted and is going forward with education. Wants to be in an apartment with others in the very big city. Cost is astronomical and at the moment finds the dorm room that is available out of the question. Grandma sends good luck and a bouquet of wisdom to you.

A special friendship is developing with another beautiful young woman "always a child in my eyes but this is not reality". So a bouquet of smiles, best wishes, wisdom and go slowly is being sent to you this early morning.

One is far over the ocean in a new land and hugs, safety and a glorious experience wishes are sent to you.
One planning many miles of traveling by train through a land that mom will only experience through your eyes - pleasure and safety wishes sent you.

To my children and to their mates there are bouquets of health, blessings and wisdom sent your way concerning each of you, your children, business, your career, chosen path in another land, special ones to cross your path, and a part of that bouquet is my encouragement and love.
The thoughts could go on and on - but I had better stop so my day can really begin on this wonderfully cool morning.

One Woman, I am surprised at you. You have always had dogs in the country. One time you had 4. Two you adopted and saved, one you made the remark "if he will jump in the back of my truck I will take him home." The tail gate was put down and the old Beagle jumped in. The 4th dog was one that my son-in-law brought to me. He had beautiful blue eyes and I called him - Blue.

You never let them in the house. They stayed outside, in the drive (waiting to frighten visitors) on the porch, doghouse or under the deck.

So - why are you letting Miss Callie in the house?

Monday, August 23, 2010

Little Ones And Lemon Ice Box Pie

A welcome visit over the weekend from my youngest daughter Jamie and two little ones.

The girls always ask for Lemon Ice Box pie and grandma prepared it early that morning.

The next day my middle daughter Beth came and spent the night and is still with me.

Needless to say I enjoytheir visits.

The Lemon Ice Box Pie is so easy and I may have posted the recipe in the past - so before someone emails me or one of my daughter's ask again for it "again" - I will share.

3 egg yolks
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 to 3/4 cup lemon juice - I find that 1/2 cup is fine for me and not so tart

mix (I use my whisk) and pour into a graham cracker crust and bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees

(for a crisper crust, brush with beaten egg white and bake unfilled crust at 375 for 5 minutes)
Over the years I have enjoyed this hint - otherwise I always found the crust might crumble

Cool on wire rack and then refrigerate. After about an hour I cover pie with cool whip. If pie is going to be used immediately with no left overs - you can use whip cream.

Keep any left over in refrigerator, it keeps well for days. Of course it does not last long at my home.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I Gotcha - Finally

My first summer at Woodhave and I have tried to capture a picture of a butterfly. They are never still long enough or I am not fast enough.

Finally yesterday afternoon (between all the chores) I captured this shot.

If I do say so myself - One Woman I am proud of you!!

The happy heart runs with the river, floats on the air, lifts to the music,
soars with the eagle, hopes with the prayer.
Maya Anglou

On this day I wish you a constantly Happy Heart

Friday, August 20, 2010

Plans For Today

5:00 am let Callie out - prayer/meditate - check computer

6:00 - 7:00 - tidy home, yoga, water plants on screen porch - it is delightful at 67 degrees

7:00 - 8:00 teapot on - more computer - breakfast - pick basil and dry some and put some in the freezer. Pick the small cherry tomatoes.

8:00 and on - help and I - lay out larger terrace area in front, more woods dirt in small garden area - hang bamboo shades on screen porch - hang one shade on loft where hot sun shines in all afternoon - cut grass as soon as it is dry - answer several phone calls that come in - pick up mail
check computer - will walk and clean the path in the woods. Between breakfast and lunch usually drink an Ensure - for energy and nutrition.

Lunch - tuna or egg salad sandwich, chips, fruit tea - coke float :) - evening stir fry or last of squash, green beans and a piece of salmon from the freezer

3:00 - done for day - hopefully. I am tired and will check computer and read - bring Miss Callie in at dusk.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Errands and Seafood Salad

This morning was errand day in town. I was going to do this yesterday but with the all day rain I enjoyed my day inside at home.

My grocery cart was loaded and I kept thinking what do I have for lunch. I spotted something I have not seen before - a small container with crab and shrimp. So immediately I had an idea.

This was quick, easy and tasty. All the ingredients were on hand at home except green onions and some fresh mixed greens. So I quickly put them in my cart.

While unloading my groceries - I put water on to boil for a handful of pasta that was in the pantry.

Then I chopped some carrot, celery, green onions, green pepper. Mixed with the pasta after it was drained and cold water run over it. I do not like the strong flavor of store bought dressings and just mixed Hellman's Mayo with a touch of ranch dressing (I keep this on hand because my little girls like to dip vegetables in it). Oh, I cut up about 4 small basil leaves - I have noticed the flavor is strong - but I like it. Would be nice topped with my avocado and black olives - but am saving them for my taco salad over the weekend :D

After it was mixed I cut up probably my last big tomato - even though I have an abundance of the small cherry tomatoes).

So this was tasty and I have enough for my evening meal.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


A wonderful soft rain all night and it continues. The scent of my herbs and especially the basil is so pleasant. A lot of of the small garden planted this Spring has come back to life.

Early this morning I tried to capture a picture of the wonderful view as I looked out over the garden and through the woods. The different shades of green were beautiful. I failed as I could not capture what my eyes viewed.

When the rain stops I will clean my small vegetable garden and will sow turnip green seeds. As a child I did not like them but now for many years I could eat turnip greens daily.

I sense Fall in the air. They are cutting tobacco and when that special scent from the barns - is in the air and I can see the smoke at dawn then I will know fall is truly arriving.

"Night is falling swiftly. The forest reverberate with the undulating buzz of countless crickets and the eerie rising wail of tropical cicadas. A few stars poke dimly through the treetops. Amid the gathering darkness there is a pool of warm light, thrown from a pair of kerosene lanterns, illuminating the open area below a hut raised up on stilts. Beneath it, in the glow, a couple of dozen people are gathered around a small, solidly built monk who is seated cross-legged on a wicker bench. The air is filled with a vibrant peace". Venerable
Ajahn Chah is teaching.

This description reminded me of my woods. It is the opening paragraph to a book I am beginning to read "Food For The Heart" the collected teachings of Ajahn Chah ...... Foreword by Jack Kornfield

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Think On These

Wisdom is the fruit of solitude. Solitude is recharging.

It is better to live in a place where you don't have to resist or react all the time. You might have to live alone....

People are so busy they don't hear the birds singing. They do not know how to appreciate the birds singing.

I see my attachments and I am learning to let go more and more. Attachments are heavy burdens... If you have no strong attachments you can live in a quiet place.

Quotes on solitude by Sayadew U Jotika - Burmese meditation master

Words sent to me this early morning from across the ocean. Words I needed to hear.

I stay so busy and question to much. Yet I have much solitude and meditation time.

A paradox for this One Woman.

It was also shared that the woods surrounding the rural temples have many dirt paths that are continually swept clean by the monks so they will have a bug and leaf free place to practice walking meditation - the real point of this comment was to tell me that they sweep slowly and mindfully as there is no reason to hurry - the past is gone and the future is not here yet. The future is made up of moment by moment - so we try to make each moment mindful or we don't have a present.

So this last paragraph made me smile because One Woman is slowly cleaning some paths in the woods. Instead of a broom -yesterday morning she used her small leaf blower :)

Happiness, Health, Safety and Peace is sent to you this early morning.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Shrimp Scampi And Peach Cobbler

I have baked more then normal this week. So some orange cookies and a loaf of zucchini bread are going in the freezer :)

Yesterday a friend stopped by with some peaches. Early this morning I made a peach cobbler using 1/2 the recipe 4 cups of peaches instead of the usual size of 8 cups. This gives me 4 servings. I had one bowl early this morning and another after my shrimp scamp. I believe I have had all the food I need today!!!!

The cobbler was tasty and I did something different and added a handful of coconut and chopped pecans to the topping.

With the heat I do not feel like cooking and do not have much appetite. Going through old recipes I spotted a favorite that is so simple - Shrimp Scampi. I had everything on hand.

So once again I made a serving for one by just decreasing the ingredients less then 1/2 . Normal recipe is as follows.

Shrimp Scampi

Angel Hair Pasta - for me I cooked a handful of pasta
3 tbs butter
3 tbs olive oil
1/2 lb shrimp - I keep frozen shrimp in the freezer and used 6
1 clove garlic
1 fresh lemon

Boil water and add pasta - cook for 5 -7 minutes

For the sauce - melt butter into into olive oil over medium heat. Add garlic and shrimp, salt to taste. When shrimp are done - squeeze juice of lemon over them , when pasta is done - drain
and toss with shrimp and sauce.

An abundance of basil in my garden and fresh spinach in frig - so before removing the sauce and shrimp from the stove - while the oil was warm - I tossed in a handful of fresh spinach and basil. They wilted immediately and it gave a little extra flavor and nutrition for One Woman.

On my next trip to the big city of Nashville I will stop by the bakery and buy some Tuscany bread. It is delicious and keeps so well in the freezer. It would have been perfect with my scampi,

Saturday, August 14, 2010

My First Granddaughter

I look back at this picture and there I am holding this precious little one. Seems like yesterday.

My daughter, soninlaw and this little one were living in Memphis at that time.

Jess's letter to me after reading what I wrote about her brother "The Winner Is".

Working in the big city of New York after graduating from Vanderbilt last June.

Needless to say her letter pleased grandma.

Aww Gramdma! That was so beautiful :) my mom is a much happier person with her children around and I'm glad the happiness is infectious :) also can't lie, I'm proud of Gav too for his crazy madden skills haha.I'm at the airport waiting to board to go to Boston for the start of a long family reunion slash celebration. But yesterday, I tried acupuncture for the first time - after my mom spoke highly of it and my best friend's sister (whose 38) recommended a doctor to see since my back , hip, and shoulders are so tight. It was definitely an experience - the needles that hit my pressure locked up points really got to me - it was very intense. I was told to relax and just let them "heat up" - so I got lost in a peaceful place, your farm. I have the most peaceful, serene memories of sitting out on your screened in porch at dusk, listening to the symphony of animal noises descend upon the night sky and the creaking swing of your porch swing as we sipped icy lemondae or tea and rocked.....I find myself there a lot during meditation time during my yoga class. They tell you to close your mind to the stress and chaos of the present and take yourself somewhere without worries. As a little girl, frolicking around that old barn house among the orchards, down by the lake, climbing on the tractor, swinging on that old wooden swing from the massive tree branch. Sigh. What a beautiful memory. I wanted to share it with you because it was the home you created and as a little girl, it was a haven of peace and nature. And I know you're lucky to be back in your wood haven. At peace. Anyways, not sure I will try it again - may stick to massages - because the pain and the junping muscles just freaked me out. They also released all the emotions jammed inside, through years of stress, so I couldn't help but just crying as I finally was released. It was an interesting experience - the doctor said it was normal because your body and mind are so connected and the muscles carry the memories of stress, pain, and emotional drain. I guess it was a little bit of a therapy session in a way. Just wanted to share with you :) Love and miss you,Jessica

Friday, August 13, 2010

First Day And Orange Cookies Baked

Smiles for big sister and smiles and tears for "my baby girl" first day of kindergarten.

A priceless picture in grandma's eyes.

Orange cookies cooling - Nan's recipe and one of my favorites.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Winner Is

When my grandson was very young - I was amazed at his knowledge of football. Grandma is totally unknowledgable of this game and most sports.

He knew all the teams, players and all that was going on as he watched these games. Through the years the thought has always been in my mind that he would have a future in something to do with sports. He is a terrific snow skier, football and soccer in high school, now plays lacrosse at the nearby university.

My daughter who lives in Tampa called and I could hear the laughter in her voice and feel her joy as she shared Gavin's latest adventure.

Seems a flyer was out that the Best Buy store in Tampa was having some kind of sports contest pertaining to Madden Games. Anyway, he was there at the time specified among the many contestants and was a part of the fun. "He Won" an assortment of gifts - gift certificate to store, T shirt, and DVD Madden game. I may have not described this accurately - as I am not familiar with this world - but you get the idea and I think there was some other prize.

This special grandson will leave next week for a 4 month term in Copenhagen, Denmark. I am looking forward to learning more about this country "I keep repeating this " time is going by so fast." Soon I will have another loved one far over the water.

"Gavin keep in touch with grandma - she does not venture far from the wood."

So there are those outside of my family who read my personal diary that I write online and have younger children and grandchildren - enjoy them - for before you know it - much will be a memory.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Clothes on the line this early morning, cleaned some on my garden and the day is progressing to fast.

Turkeys are coming out of the woods and headed for the corn field. I counted 20 but could not get them all in my picture. The first quails crossing my gravel drive were spotted yesterday. Some leaves are beginning to fall in the woods and making me have thoughts of Fall.

So - my children and grandchildren this is the news from Woodhaven.
Be Happy, Healthy, Safe and at Peace

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Youngest Is A Sunday's Child

Your Mom's first garden when we moved to the country. Had to comment - I have never been able to grow to compare since then!!!

You were born at 3:00 pm on a Sunday afternoon and weighed in at 6 lb 1 oz - you were 3 weeks early. A little over 5 lbs when I brought you home.

A friend did some painting and I had a painting of a little girl made with the verse....

Sunday's child is full of grace,
Sunday's child is fair of face,
Sunday's child is gentle and kind

It hung on the wall in your room for many years.
It now hangs in your youngest daughter and my youngest granddaughter's room.

Guess that about covers it.........

Happy Birthday
There are no words to describe my love for you and how proud I am of you.
Love, Mama

Monday, August 9, 2010


Callie's favorite spot early in the morning. She usually is observing the woods to see all that is going on.

Corn is almost ready for harvesting.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

What A Week

Time spent with my little girls is always special. Monday was their day. The youngest I treated to a hair trim. Older sister's was done last week and she made the remark to mom "what about my hair". So grandma beat mom to it.

I should not have parked behind my soninlaw because my car would not still be in the repair shop. A part is difficult to find. I made a remark to one of my daughter's that I will buy another car in a few years and this will be my last. She said that sounded kind of sad. I did not think so - it was just the fact. I think sometimes a classy one, maybe a convertible. Then I think probably the best is something that will go in all kinds of weather and one that will hold my gardening supplies. But my trusty old truck is good for that. Anyway I am fine and that decision will come. Might not even buy another one.

I decided to return the lawn tractor. Only used it once to see if I could operate it. At the present time there is no time or energy for me to use a lawn tractor. If I change my mind then next Spring I will make the purchase. Lowe's is picking it up tomorrow. Will be nice to once again have extra space in my garage.

A friend invited me for tea and muffins one morning. Fruit and a special treat that I have never tried before. Raisin bread spread with goat cheese, fig preserves and chopped basil. Slightly warmed and toasted in a pan. It was delicious and I am ashamed that I could barely sample everything as I had a hardy breakfast earlier that morning.

It was such a treat to sit and talk and relax. This is not something I do often but then there are not many people that I feel connected and are as special and gracious as this lady.

I have not been able to get into the new restaurant in the town that is 8 minutes away and really not that big . Every time I drive by the people are practically standing outside. I have the thought that economy in this farm community must be doing alright.... I did find a parking place not far away and went inside for a menu. They have some things I want to try.

A vegetable lasagna that is much different then one I make. It has zucchini and yellow squash as some of the ingredients. Mine has spinach, carrots among other things. I also make one with broccoli I love this dish but it is something I cannot make a small amount of. I do not like to freeze it and my son is the one who really enjoys it and he is not near. I probably need to cook and freeze portions more - just do not like to take things out of the freezer and warm. Like it fresh from the oven. Guess I need to stop being so fussy or I will never gain the weight I lost while building this home and relocating.

This 100 degree weather is surely not good for my handful of fine hair. I still dream of thick, curly and long hair that I can do all kinds of things with. A hair trim and shaping has helped some. My hair has been her department for over 15 years and she is like a daughter. I do not like leaving home and I go so seldom. I chop on it in between and I think I am pretty good :) She is always urging to come more.
When she works her magic it always looks good and makes me feel like I am not a full time gardener!! When I leave she always hugs me and tells me she loves me. I leave with tears in my eyes. I am ready to meet the world. But really do not want to meet the world - like my woods.

My youngest daughter is in New York. Cannot share part of the excitement of this trip.
She has to post it first. So next week "I can talk". She will have an opportunity to share lunch with my oldest granddaughter. "Jess, I miss you and Sarah out there in California but soon to be at Manhattan School of Music - I miss you also".

Oh - before I forget - A phone call early one morning from thousands of miles across the ocean.
He sounded like he was next door. Sure made his mom's heart smile!!!

As I close with the thought the week went by so quickly, was so hot and I wonder where are the birds hiding out. I filled my feeder's and nothing has disturbed the food except a squirrel who was having a feast at sunset last night.

I must add that it is nice and cool this morning, picked the veggies on my picture - my little garden sure has not been a disappointment. I have the screen doors and a window open. Also picked up my car late yesterday.

Every visitor to my journal site - I am sending Peaceful Thoughts for the weekend.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Special Treat

Yesterday morning I was treated to something very special.

Grilled Goat Cheese Sandwiches With Fig Preserves and Honey

2 tsp honey
1/4 tsp grated lemon
1 - 4 ounce pkg goat cheese
8 slices cinnamon raisin bread
2 tbsp fig preserves
2 tsp sliced fresh basil ........ basil from my garden :)

cooking spray
1 tsp powdered sugar

Combine first 3 ingredients - blend well
Spread on 4 slices of bread
Top each with 1/2 tsp preserves - 1/2 tsp basil
Top with remaining slices
Lightly coat bread with cooking spray

Heat in nonstick skillet - 2 sandwiches to pan
Place heavy cast iron skillet on top to flatten
Cook 2 minutes on each side until slightly toasted
Cut to 1/2 or 1/4 sandwich size
Sprinkle with powdered sugar - And Enjoy

I was not able to print or copy this online as printer is acting up

It is on the site - My Recipes

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Revealing Thoughts

How old would you be if you did not know how old you are? Satchel Paige

All kind of thoughts are going through my mind since I entered this quote.

I am at a good place where my heart is full of peace. Guess it took a lot of experiences and healing to enjoy where I am at this moment in my lifetime.

So many stories as I look back over the years.

If I could go back it would be to the time when I went through my divorce. Oh if I could and know then what it took me a few years to learn. There would have been a lot of tears that would not have been shed and a lot of sleepless nights would have not been experienced.

In my early 40's, new to the dating world and inexperienced in many ways. The first date was with my youngest daughter's orthodontist. Some wonderful restaurants were visited and one evening he cooked dinner for me. I was so impressed with his penthouse on one of the highest hills in Nashville.

There was one who told me he was divorced and was not. He was the greatest liar but had other talents. Another who was with the House of Representatives and treated me royally when in town. Even took me to the governors mansion for dinner and a special event. Oh he was classy and another he dated in his home town (which he never shared).
As someone shared with me later "don't you know you do not trust politicians or insurance salesmen".

Several business men who were widowers that after a few dates looked me in the eye and said "you are truly not interested in me". I told them I enjoyed their company and attention but really felt nothing more. These were good men and it would have been unfair to them to pretend something I did not feel. I wonder could I have grown to be fond of them? There were several that I met at church. Several that told me there was something wrong with me - because they were such a good catch - and I did not want them.

There were those that would just look me in the eye and confess all this undying love for me and some I believed for a short time.

One even arrived with an envelope in his hand, a asked me to open it and read - his doctor revealed that he was in perfect health. My remark "this is interesting".
I have had fun, heartaches, smiles, tears and now have been guarded for a number of years.

A lot of issues with my father while growing up, a husband who never grew up and then a number of relationships with men I found out I could not trust.

About 8 years ago the tears and sleepless nights stopped. I really stood in awe of his creativity and have several of his paintings that I now can hang in this home without much feelings.

Maybe it took me a long time to learn - all I really know is that I have arrived at a good place. I just really do not understand people that lie. Never have and never will.

I am reading "Journey Into Now" by Leonard Jacobson. I will have to read it a number of times to really digest parts of it. He shares a number of counseling sessions. One in particular made me laugh out loud. The woman is in the deepest despair and crying over disappointments in life, heartache and betrayals. He ask if she could see these individuals now or bring them up in her mind what would she say.
She goes through many pitiful remarks - why did you do this - I believed you and trusted you, I did all I know, and she goes on and on with her sobbing. Leonard, looks at her and says "you say two words to them"
and she repeats a number of words which are wrong and he goes on to say - they are two words.
---- Y--. When she tried this - the tears stopped and her face broke out in a smile.

I do not use this type of language but I think if any of these impersonators ever come to my mind - I might just say that to them. Of course - only in my mind.

How in the world did I get on this subject. Might be the 100 degree weather... But then the answer is - if I could be any age what would I be. In my early forty's - newly single and know then what it took me many years to learn about relationships.

I am so thankful for my children, grandchildren, Miss Callie and our home in the woods. I can garden to my hearts content and even hug a tree if I want to.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Energy, Oat Bran Muffins and Time

The energy level after my rain dance on Saturday morning - lasted until lunch time.

The sun was shining, I gardened and it was downhill from then on.

Today is Sunday and it rained again a lot during the night. The wet garden and grass kept me inside most of the day. Did not feel very energetic.

Have to have something sweet in the house to eat so early this morning made these special muffins. I shared the recipe in March. I always make 1/2 that that gives me 18 small or 1 dozen large muffins.

They are so easy and healthy mixed with a wooden spoon. Also just happened to have a couple of apples on hand.

A neighbor who bought a home on my adjoining property that I designed, built and sold a number of years ago shares the New York Times and Newsweek with me each week.

In the back of the July 26th Newsweek it stated (among other things)

Time Spent Online - year 2000 2.7 hours/wk
year 2010 18 hrs/wk

Daily E-Mails - year 2000 12 Billion
year 2010 247 Billion
I began to estimate how much time this One Woman who is relatively new in the computer world spends Online.

At least 2 or 3 hours a day - so - I guess that is the reason my day goes by quickly and I have much paperwork on my desk and a lot of other things that are my list of things to do. This is not accounting for the time she walks around with her camera handy and downloads pictures.

Always a very organized person and now it seems "I am not". But then I am not what I use to be and I really like myself better:). Also I sure am not bored!!!