I have always felt that I had a deep sense of intuition. Feeling led to once again share about my prayer bracelet. I clicked on Laura's site to see if it was still active - yes - and discovered that her current entry is about Jade beads .
Interesting, made me smile that my entry was meant to be .........
This is an entry that was written and posted about 15 months ago. Daily I wear this bracelet and sometimes it is noticed and I might receive a compliments on it. It is very simple but has a lot of special significance to the one who wears it.
Arriving home from a belated birthday luncheon on Friday.... a gift to myself had arrived.
In my mailbox was a prayer bracelet that I special ordered. A mala I requested to be made in a special way. If someone asks what it is, I will probably compare it to a beaded rosary.
This is something I am adding to my prayer life, mindfulness and the cross I have worn around my neck for over 40 years. As I am aware of it on my wrist may it help keep me focused.
Many who know me may not understand why I am adding this simple bracelet. It really does not matter whether they understand or not. It is something I am doing for myself.
It is made of Jade which is associated with abundance, healing, good health, peace and joy. It is said it can draw the earth's life force to one, especially if worn or carried while one is outdoors. It helps one to send peace and loving-kindness to all those in one's surroundings. (peace that promotes friendship, respect and peace between all faiths and people in our world). Physically, it helps to strengthen the energy system.
It has a coral center bead, which is said to bring power. Tibetan Buddhists have prized coral for mala-making for centuries.
Right Mindfulness helps us slow down and listen to each word from the birds, the trees, and our own mind and speech. Whether we say something kind or respond too hastily, we hear what we are saying.
I am sad, I spoke without thinking. One Woman, you read, you pray and you try Must not be doing these enough A firm reminder you are no where near the mark you hope to attain You said something To one that is so dear and special Words should not have been said A sharp reminder that You have not attained the wisdom That you desire May forgiveness be granted Peace restored
Words can travel thousands of miles. May my words create mutual understanding and love. May they be as beautiful as gems, As lovely as flowers
"The Heart Of The Buddha's Teaching" ~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~
When animals in the forest get wounded, they find a place to lie down, and they rest completely, for many days. The don't think about food or anything else. They just rest, and get the healing they need. When we humans get sick, we just worry. We look for doctors and medicine, but we don't stop. Even when we go to the beach or the mountains for a vacation, we don't rest, and we come back more tired than before. We have to learn to rest.
Just allow the body and mind to rest like an animal in the forest. Don't struggle. Our body and mind have the capacity to heal themselves if we allow them to rest.
Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing. If we cannot stop, the course of our destruction for healing will just continue.
I underlined this last night as I read "The Heart of Buddha's Teaching" by Thich Nhat Hanh
It hit home with this One Woman. Always difficult for her to sit and rest. When not feeling well she would not stop. Her thought "she would not give in to it." Oh, what a slow learner she has been.
She is very aware of what she underlined in this book - but for some reason - has not followed these instructions. She may be different from now on.
Because One Woman is not quite as strong as she thinks she is - something happened.
Maybe overload is a good word or rather I crashed!
A loss for words and I am choosing to step back and not write as much - mainly seems like my mind is silent.
The autoimmune disorder I have, comes and goes. After Christmas it came on full force.
No moisture in eyes or mouth, has affected my eyesight and teeth (they have always been perfect) extreme fatigue, could not sleep, lost some weight, and who loses weight at Christmas time.
This seemed to escalate into concern about myself. Seems everything I strive for with my meditation, eating and yoga - just left. Every thing that was forgiven and forgotten seemed to come forth in my mind.
So, I reluctantly went to doctor. Now I am the kind of person who thinks with her lifestyle and beliefs does not need a medical doctor. I knew she would ask "are you depressed? No my answer just trying to find a reason I can accept for what is going on" So I accept I have done too much for quite a while and my system is not as young as it use to be. I am one who goes constantly and it is difficult for me to sit still. The books are calling...
But bottom line I have so many blessings and so much to be thankful for. My dream came true of moving back to my home place and as I look out the window at the bare tree's I dream of Spring and green shoots coming forth from the ground.
I have the best children in the world. I am well aware that through out my years there have been similar times - but this is different.
I listen to them and their remarks are meant to be kind and with their families and involvement they really do not have time for mom to be "down." I am well aware that in 10 years I built 3 homes and moved 3 times, aware that I wanted a simpler lifestyle, aware of a financial loss when last home was sold. If I could go back 10 years I would do nothing any different. Their thoughts for me have been travel, social involvement and on and on.
I might add that I miss my son - so very much. He has a way in person or with his emails of saying just the right thing to encourage mom - onward.
I am not interested. Oh, the travel if I was brave enough to go out on my own and the social involvement has been tried over and over through the years. Now I just want the peace that this nature surrounding gives me.
Since so many have contacted me and this touches my heart more then I have the words to express. I have never seen you in person or hugged you. But I think many of you know in your heart that you are special to me. I must be to you for you to reach out me and know that something is not quite right.
I know I write and share honestly . How can you write any other way. I do not want to embarrass my grown professional children so their are some subjects I do not go into. Through my writing my grandchildren will know their grandmother better.
So at present I am on an immune medication, potassium was low, prednisone for inflammation throughout my system, something to calm me - WHICH I DO NOT LIKE - I am eating in between my small meals and even during the night having hot chocolate with a couple of scoops of ice cream. I am trying to rest more and just want whatever is happening to go away.
I will be writing and taking pictures as the creative process returns. It brings me such pleasure in these later years. It has been a gift.
I do not hurt anywhere - just maybe in my heart that this has happened. Guess I like to appear more perfect then I am. I know now that I cannot just disappear. I might add that this is the same way I feel about you when you do not write for a while. If I had a number I would probably call you :)
I keep having the thought that what I desire and need - I need to give it to myself. Forget about waiting for it to come forth from others. Just not enough time - with my lifestyl
Mermaid - Kaveri - thank you for giving me this thought.
As far back as I can remember my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother - always
served black eyed peas on New Years day. I was always told this would bring you good luck in the coming year.
The little girls have been delivered to their other grandmother and I have black eyed peas simmering. Chopped onions and ham added to them.
Also I have been craving turnip greens. There is nothing in the stores that look like the turnip greens I grow ( I will be sure to put many cartons in the freezer next fall). So I purchased collard greens. They are full of vitamins and so good for you. They are simmering with garlic and onions. Will make a small pan of corn bread, glass of sweet tea and slice of lemon ice box pie, and this will be my good luck dinner for this new day.
Bath, hair washed, lotion and breakfast finished. At the moment no one else I would make scrambled eggs and bacon for one and French toast for the other. Their compliments are worth it. They tell me what a great cook I am :)
With this visit I could tell such a difference in my little girls.
They comment on so much as they wander through my cottage. They like looking at the small items on my desk. One comments on the red glass heart - holds it in her hand and tells me she loves it. They pick up the special stones, pictures and books.
I find myself looking at items that have memories - through their eyes and a special meaning is renewed.
I watch as they carefully fold their clothes - put them in their bags - before putting on pajamas. This is new... grandma would usually fold :)
They want me to tell them stories of when their mom was little. I tell them about our years in the old farmhouse. They laugh at many of the stories.
Their vocabulary is changing and I smile at the words they now use.
Their choice for lunch a local restaurant that makes the best pizza. My eye caught an elderly couple eating and a glass of wine on their table. I made the comment "maybe grandma needs someone special to go out and eat with - what do you think?" the oldest replies "grandma that decision is really up to you" - I smile at the answer.
Not knowing the little one was in the bathroom - I opened the door and was immediately told "grandma this is embarrassing" sorry was said and the door immediately closed.
They entertain themselves with little DS games - I do not think I could use this - look like tiny computers. They read and watch special dvd's they have brought.
I find them so entertaining with all their comments and questions. They are just growing up too fast...
One thing I know - is when they are around they make me smile and feel loved. Better clean the kitchen.