Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Contentment - Is That The Word

4:30 am to 9:00 am: Wake up, pray, let Callie out, check computer, yoga, morning chores, garden,  usually several phone calls, breakfast, once a week I bake something sweet.

9:30 am to noon: Inside and outside chores - walk in woods. Every week to 10 days - grocery

Noon: check computer, lunch, look at mail.

1:00 to 4:00 pm: meditate, outside work, read, relax, prepare dinner.

4:00 pm: dinner, check computer, read and write

7:00 pm: relax, prepare for bed, read, pray and hopefully to sleep.

Many times I turn the phone off when I am eating.

I read what I have written and it sounds so simple. Wonder sometimes how One Woman can stay so busy and never stop. Happiest at home with my puttering inside and outside.

My biggest fault has always been - pacing myself with outdoor work. Spring is around the corner and so much I want to do and I do not have the physical strength as in the past. I sometimes go to bed exhausted and times through the years have physically hurt myself. I am so aware of my problem. With building 4 homes over the last 10 years I was continually reminded to pace myself. Age is helping take care of this problem.

Inside sometimes soft music plays and a film is watched occasionally.

I know people where there is a television going constantly in their homes. I like it quiet. They seem to be on the go constantly and cannot be content at home. I feel sorry for them.

Whenever weather permits I am outside - even eat all meals surrounded by nature sounds.

I think I  am different from all the women I know or have known. I do find comfort in the fact that since I started writing I have come in contact with those who seem very similar to me.

A few distant relatives  may read what I write but never contact me. I have always felt like they were reading my diary. But does not matter.....

The last time I was in a serious relationship was in my  60's. When I ended this - it seemed like peace surrounded me.  Now the thought that when someone looks at me I will look the other way.

Have never met anyone, including the father of my children who fulfilled my emotional needs.

With time I realize that most of these needs were unfilled from childhood. I no longer try and understand much that troubled me in the past. I am still trying to understand myself and life is constantly changing.

Spending time in nature, visits and calls from children, grandchildren and a handful of friends - my writing, books, camera, and Miss Callie - seems to be my life in these last years.

At times I have the thought - I am different.  In the past pushed to surround myself with people and activities, now wonder why.    It takes living life to learn.    The peace I searched for all my life I have found in these 3 score and 10 years.

A simple life with Miss Callie....

Maybe another word for it is "contentment."


Tabor said...

You sound as though you have great control over you life and activities. You might wnt to consider a portable music device that plays gentle music while you garden so that you slow down.

Tabor said...

Sorry for the laptop has a funky keyboard these days!

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Tabor, I have so many errors. They do not bother me anymore. I always think that those who read what I write - understand what I am saying.
I smile at your suggestion.
When I am outside - with water, camera, phone, walkiing stick, leash and snack in pocket for Callie - I think I have too much stuff and when I see something to take an image of - almost drop the camera - getting to it :)

Beverly said...

sounds contented to me.....

lil red hen said...

I enjoy your writings even though you feel they are simple; get to know you better than if you were "putting on airs".

This year I think I may have to pace my work in the flowers too. So much needs to be done and I always come in feeling sore from the work, for you see I'm going to be one year past three score and ten.

I also like time without a television, just some one on one conversation; there'll be time for TV when no one is here to talk with. And I know I'm different from most women, I've just come to accept it.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Beverly, hope you are feeling better.
Charlotte, thank you for your special comment. Wish we lived near. Have a good day :)

Judy said...

I don't have the TV on during the day either--I too like the quietness. Some say they have "noise" so they won't get lonely. I find I can be lonely in a crowd, so TV wouldn't help. I too have quit trying to figure out or let the past hurts influence me. There is a future--THAT I am trying to figure out, but in reality, there is no control of that either, so I go, one day at a time--finding any small joy there is and waiting anxiously for spring, warm breezes, doors and windows open and the sun on my face. Forward--ever forward. Contentment? I would say it is very close--I am almost there!

Folkways Note Book said...

You are the designer of your days. That in itself would create contentment. I too design my own as I am retired. Women carry a huge weight of responsibility when young as they usually have children. Trying to balance motherhood and and personal contentment can be difficult at times. Retirement is a blossoming event. Very nice post.

Sharon said...

Contentment ~ the word suits you.

Sky said...

learning that peace and contentment actually come from within brings us such freedom, doesn't it? life gets much easier after we understand that principle.

i am so happy that your days are now filled with things that bring you joy and comfort, that you are not searching for the impossible, that your days are full and rich, and that callie is such a loving companion.

i hope you will not overdo yourself in the gardens, and that you will NOT do any heavy lifting - you don't want to end up having a surgical repair of the surgery you just had done! ok, enough of this unsolicited advice - just call me "mama sky" hahaha!
big hugs, ernestine.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Judy, FN, Sharon and Mama Sky :)
thanks to all for commenting on my rambling....