I cannot make it in this life without prayer and meditating.
Praying for family, those that come to mind and myself.
Meditating to calm and still myself has opened up a deeper understanding of myself.
What a gift to know someone that is praying for you continually.
It was a comfort to know that I was continually in my mother's prayers. There were times in her last
years that she would tell me that she was on her little frail knee's for me. Times she would come to me in the old farm house, curl up on the little love seat in my bedroom and spend the night with me. Oh yes, I knew I was loved and being
prayed for. I surely needed it as there were many years of emotional struggle. A young life with young parents and going through
a divorce, finishing raising my children alone and all the challenges of One Woman alone who still
has times of thoughts that enter her mind. She is better now at letting the thoughts just flow in and out.
Better at being kind to herself.
You never really know how special those prayers are until you lose your mother.
My grandmother's prayed for me and when I moved to this country area and attended a small
country church there were many older ladies that showered me with their love and prayers. I can
call their names one by one. Miss Robbye, Miss Susie and Alma, Miss Cora, and on and on.
All of these are gone now and the memories are all so special. A different time of life in this area
as I returned and I am a new person to those busy with their lives surrounding me.
I do know that the Lord has always brought someone special along in my life that I knew was praying for me continually.
Now my long prayer time in the evening before falling asleep and in the morning before my feet hit the floor.
My children, grandchildren are first, others come to mind and as I pray the words from the bible that strengthened me, encouraged me and sustained me through the years, tumble from my lips.
As I have grown spiritually there are now special words from other worlds. Besides continually reciting
the Lords Prayer, 23 Psalms, and so many words from the Psalms I now use metta.
Reading continually and seeking wisdom, I do not think in a limited way like in years past. I hunger for more of much that is new to me and strengthens me. I do not think there is anyone in my community that could relate to where I am spiritually. With my writing and sharing I have discovered other individuals like me.
We are oceans and miles apart and in other ways very close.
I do not know about those who might read this entry
but I can live no other way.