Recently received "Elderwoman Newsletter" written by Marian Van Eyk
http://www.elderwoman.org/feb11news.html
An article written by Louise LeBrun, especially hit home and spoke to my heart.
Have felt what Louise describes for quite some time - but - she gave me the word "urgency."
I wrote some her words and my thoughts in my journal.......
I feel this so strong in my life, time seems to be going by at an accelerated speed. I am ever aware of the increasing speed in the passage of time.
Feel an urgency to be mindful - ever present, too live, to breathe, relax and let go. Continually working on these traits, have never arrived, and wonder if I ever will - in this lifetime.
Urgency to speak what is on my mind, in the moment that it moves. and not seek to wait for the
"right" time or the best time. (seems I do this quite a lot)
So aware of this escalated passage of time in my life. I want to choose to live fully right here/now, rather than waiting to do so.
As I grow older I feel more alive and sensitive to everything then in the past - I wonder if other's sense this strong urgency...... I think it is a part of aging as 5 or 10 years ago I did not feel like this. On second thought, I think this is part of being in my 3 score and 10 years.
To be mindful, ever present, to live, to breathe, relax, let go...
This urgency might also be responsible for my busy days - like over the last week of gardening not at a slow pace.
Also this urgency is what I feel when I plan a day of not writing - then I have a thought and I am at the computer typing away before daybreak. The thought that I must share - so those that love me ---- know the real me.
Some thoughts from One Woman who lives at the edge of the woods.
11 comments:
Ernestine,
Your thoughts on the acceleration of time made me think of a book I recently read at the urging of my spiritual director, Speaker of the Dead. Sounds rather dreary but it was really quite wonderful. It's a story planted in the future, where characters move between planets at the speed of light. At this high rate of speed, time ceases to exist so the characters do not age.
Anyway, as you wrote of noticing an acceleration in time flying by, I began to wonder whether the increased rate of time passing in our later years serves to prepare us for an afterlife, where we soar above time at the speed of light. It's a crazy thought (I know) from a gal who needs to planted more firmly in the "now" -- which probably stems from an overdose of reading Orson Scott Card fantasy -- but I liked the idea and thought I'd share it anyway -- even at the cost of looking foolish.
Janell
I've noticed the increased sensitivity thing too, right across the board from physical (more susceptible to allergens, particularly 'perfumed' products) to emotional. Interesting.
Janell, thank you for sharing. I am right with you. A neat idea.
So much we do not know. Wonder what exciting future is in store for us. Were not foolish :)
Elderwoman, thank you for visiting.
Your words special to me...
"Urgency"--I never thought of that word, but it is right on. "Scarey" is the term I most use. Time goes by at a scarey pace--will I ever get to the peaceful place I see some that do not fear the end? Probably not!
It feels like you are peeling away all the layers that covered your true self over a lifetime.
Of course you are wanting to speak your mind, to write till dawn, to live as if every moment may be your last. That doesn't sound wierd to me.
It sounds like you are home, not on your way there. May your days be filled with these moment of true self and home.
My Dear Mermaid, you know me so well. Yes, the layers have been peeled away - I am finally me.
Little unhappy child, unfilled young wife - I am surrounded by blessings - it finally happened.
Yours are coming sooner then my 3 score 10 years :) thank you dear girl...
I feel this way too Ernestine. I am presumably in my middle years (but who knows, right?)...I think because of living with an unpredictable illness...knowing that my limitations will increase unless a cure is found...I do my best to appreciate the gifts life offers daily. I feel that urgency as my daughters become more grown and I become weaker and my husband more exhausted caring for all of us. And yet, there is no place to "go" with the urgent feeling...just this place, this moment to dwell within and embrace with loving awareness.
gentle steps dear one
Laura, thank you for visiting me.
Have a good night :)
Beautiful post... I resonate. Recently I wrote in my journal that I feel like "my life is winding down"... And have also been experiencing this strong urge to "rekindle my life" - to be creative and expressive - to kindle these embers into a flame - if it's not too late :) There is also deep longing to experience more "Divine Intimacy" after years and years of following the paths of illumination - even *knowing* that "It" is already right here... And as you say, still learning to breathe, relax and let go into That which we are...
Christine
E, it is not a Dogwood,is it, but, a Flowering Crab???
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