Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Been a While

Yes it has been a while since I shared and have hesitated too as so much going on
Here goes, some of it.

My special helper and driver on errands not comfortable for me noticed a swelling on his arm about
3 weeks ago.  Thought it was an insect bite, possibly a spider bite.  It never went away and became
bigger, after much urging from wife and because they were planning a trip to Florida she went with him to doctor, he looked at it and immediately took him to the surgeon in the hospital.   Cancer and
now awaiting biopsy of a large section.

Next, young woman, I am so pleased with after weeks of searching for someone to be with me a few
hours on the weekend, she is just 48 and was having pain in her chest, ER, test, moved to the best heart
hospital (where I went) in Nashville and has 8 blockages, so more test for her tomorrow.

On and on, good friends for years, older sister in her 90's lives in Jacksonville, Florida, she visits
her family here in Tennessee about 6 times a year, she is amazing, recovered 2 years ago from Hip surgery, had a fever, tests being done, she has been moved to rehab and who know where this will
go.  She is amazing, beautiful, smart, so concerned over her.

Her 2 surviving sisters in 90's also, one finishing a handicap home next to the home she lives in.
and her twin showing signs of dementia, so on and on.  I listen, pray for them and when sitting, counting breaths I send good wishes and healing  to all  of these

All of this and I am told all is well.,   Someday will write what changes as you age.
Do not like any of this and trying with all my strength to keep moving, doing, eat and on and on.

The main issue is arthritis pain, nothing will restore me to what I was like 5 years ago, then Shingles
that still affect the face and heart attack you may never be the same.

I am using walker, sometimes cane and sometimes nothing and oh how I miss walking in the woods, my yard and working in the garden.

So please forgive me if this sounds like complaining, not so - just how it is in soon middle 80's.

What a pleasure in my nature surrounded cottage holding my camera,   I miss my baking and cooking, so thankful a good mind, will probably be trying to accept until the end.

I never had help, but now is necessary for a few hours to do things I use to do and love the

Being in rehab several times and with much figuring it is less expensive this way than a facility.
I will stay in this home if I have no one but surely miss some of the perfect people I found\
and they will return but it will be a while

My special girl, first t help me still with me for a couple of hours some evenings, loves my flowers
waters, weeds and my feeders if not for her would not have the hummers and other birds.

Also, lack proper words about my special children and grandchildren, not near, all so busy
son calls from Thailand weekly, writer daughter has 2 teenagers, one college next year
and I smile about my youngest granddaughter in a magnet school and choose a language in Chinese.
Another daughter, my nurse helps me with thoughts, that granddaughter in Nantucket a Chef,
and my oldest in Florida, all that is going on with her is difficult for her as she remembers maybe more than the others of an independent talented mother who would tackle anything and I have changed, age and closer to the end does change us in many ways and we are not the same, another great-grandchild is due in November and on and on

So my life continues and may a long time and have to learn to tolerate the pain and walk with a cane.
and count my blessings, read and carry my camera, such is life at the edge of the woods.

Hope and Pray I have not left out anyone, forgive me if I have.....


PatK said...

“Counting your blessings” that’s the key. You reminding me to do that is a great gift. Thank you!

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

Dear, dear Ernestine ~ once again you inspire me with your words and your will to continue living there at the edge of the woods. I am glad you have a sweet lady to help you and that she waters your plants and feeds birds. I am working for an elderly widow friend, 94 next month, and like you she wants to stay in her home. I'm there three mornings a week, but that may change to 5. She also uses a walker, and we do our best to walk 3-5 houses length from her home each time I'm there. Some days are easier than others for her. This all humbles me. ~ God's continued blessings on you dear friend. Being thankful helps us live each day we are blessed with. ~ Love, hugs & prayers for you ~ FlowerLady

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

flower lady Lorraine, how your note blesses me, I walk a lot outside on drive and endlessly in this cottage, outside not unless someone is here Bless You

Wisewebwoman said...

You speak well of the challenges of aging which many of us face. I think I shared with you my way of coping is by listing the things I am able to do rather than miss the stuff I can't. Easier said then done, but like meditation, a daily practice for me now. I was away for the weekend with a beloved niece on a knitting retreat and I forced myself not to compare my lack of agility with all the activity around me. I focus on what I can do (some days not much) and try to keep a sense of humour.

Life owes me nothing. But I am grateful for my extended years as so many I have loved are not gone.


One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

WWW, I can do so much I would be ashamed to list them :) see how awful I am
looking at it wrong. Thank you

Carolyn Marie said...

I don't remember who said it but "aging is not for sissies" is so very true! As our health and physical abilities decline so do those of our friends. So, I know that I am not alone. I try to view this decline as a time for observation and reflection. It seems each year brings me new physical limitations yet I still feel inside my head like I am 25! I am learning yoga which I poo pooed before as too slow. Now, I enjoy it because it loosens my stiff and aching joints. I guess aging is a time for radical acceptance. We older folks must stick together and support each other.

Rebecca said...

What a string of disappointing circumstances! Still you rise. Your example, courage, and words here serve as a verbal map for many who are or will navigate similar circumstances. Thanks

Pienosole said...


Judy said...

I know Ernestine.
3 deaths in a row, of people I know--all of them much younger than my 80 years.
80 years! How old that sounds! Still, in my mind I am 50.
I can barely do 1/8th of what I did at 70 and it makes me mad.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Really not useful. Kids and grands all so busy with their lives, as it should be, but a phone call now and then would make me feel needed.
Maybe it would be easier to be senile enough not to remember how vibrant a woman I used to be.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Judy, understand every word you share. Bless you..

kerrdelune said...

So many good friends and kindred spirits ill and/or departed here too, Ernestine, and I miss them. My children have their own lives and no idea what it is to be elderly, coping with serious health matters and rather fragile. For years, family gatherings were held here, and I entertained the clan, but now that I cannot, those gatherings have ended.

Let us be glad for our abbreviated potterings with cane and camera, for all the light and abundance around us.

Carolyn Marie said...

I returned to this posting to read all of the comments. Ernestine, you have gathered a wonderfully wise, caring, and honest group of women in this community.