For many years I viewed these woods from the old farm house. Also viewed them from another home that I built on this property. Deep in my mind there was always a thought that I would like to build at the edge of the woods.The dream came true. For one year - with help - trees have been cut down and trimmed, underbrush removed and still there is cleaning going on in the woods.
It is becoming more and more evident to me that I have invaded all that grows on this land. I am a trespasser. I arrived and started to rearrange and tidy it up. I really did not mean to do it to the extent that is taking place . My intent was to have a winding road back to my simpler home that was surrounded by nature. Not to experience the busyness that has always been a part of my personality. I came to the woods for a simpler lifestyle. A time to reflect, meditate, read, write, pray, and have a simple garden. This evening I keep having the thought - what happened to my original plan - I need to stop...
A neighbor came by with a loader to rearrange some piles of dirt that I found unsightly.
I looked out the window a few moments ago and saw the huge scar on the side of the tree. He scraped it with his machine. Many scrapes on the trees that I am responsible for. In the morning I will put something soothing or rather protective on this wound. Probably cry as I am doing it.
It is bedtime for One Woman, I just took this wonderful evening photo, and I am ashamed. I can go back probably 100 years in my mind and there has been no invasion in these woods that I chose to once again make my home.
I feel like going outside and screaming - please forgive me.
I felt this same sorrow many years ago. Alone, left the city and came upon this land. One section I had timbered to help with the cost of remodeling the old farm house. Later, I wept as I viewed the woods.
Again, I am so sorry. I need to stop this clearing and cleaning for all is fine the way it is.
One Woman does not need to rearrange the woods, she needs to rearrange her thoughts.
Last night these were thoughts that kept me from having a good nights rest!!!!
9 comments:
You and I are so much alike. We are tidy and clean-up people and forget that most of natural life is chaos. I have changed my section of the woods quite a bit just for flowers and vegetables...I should have planted in a field somewhere!
You have a lot of solitude time and that gets your brain spinning and wanting to do projects! I'm very project oriented, too, it's just that at this stage of life that work and the girls and spending time with Alan keep me super super busy. I barely have time to clean my own house much less tidy up the yard. Yikes.
I still would love to see you connect with a church. That would be a good outlet but then again we are very sporadic in attending our own church so I can't say much!
I will need your help on the 28th with the girls so come on down for the day! :) We also got invited to something July 31 (a Saturday) so I may bring them up to spend the night. :)
Tabor, you are right on target. I think you know me well - even though we have not met in person.
My Jamie, you are like your mom.
It is so wonderful to Finally be able to do what I am doing. I will build no more houses!!! As far as church. I spent most of my life in every capacity. I love where I am at this time of life. Your mom lives in a constant state of meditation and prayer. Will not go into my thoughts on organized religion. Your little girls are my joy. Grandma is available.
Love you !!
I am a tidier too. I was in my woods with a weed whacker just this morning and decided to just leave the back part go back to the way it was. I'll only plant the front border. The little creatures will be so much happier and I will not be exhausted. I have so much to write to you...I think that I will do a post on it before the weekend. By the looks of Jamie's note...you will be having company soon. Enjoy!
Balisha
Balish, yes - we are alike. Thank you for visiting me. Take care and hope hubby feels better.
I,too, like to clean up and weed and chop out things and have projects planned out. Guess it is just in our nature. The corn is sure growing tall and your garden looks great.
I know how you feel about timbering the woods. My grandfather, that I lived with owned a sawmill, and my mother would always comment when we passed a load of logs....I later in life felt a little guilty with the forests we probably cut down. But, I try to realize it was his living...it kept me fed. Can you see the old farmhouses from where you live now? I hope you tree survives the injury!
Judy and Beverly thanks for visiting.
Beverly, I pass the hold farm house when I turn into my drive.
I am probably 2000 feet behind that home. I can barely see it. Not at all now because of the corn in the field. I healed at that home, finished raising my children there.
But do not miss that home. I like my new smaller home that is sitting back by the woods.
good advice you have given yourself! yes, STOP. that is a great idea. let nature be her own divine self and leave the natural forested area in peaceful serenity. what a lovely retreat you have. :)
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