Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Women Who've Gone Before Us

This post was written almost 2 years ago.   Still so very true.   This special lady was called
yesterday as I have her so often on my mind and heart.   She never fails to respond and in a short time there was an email.
I can see her face and her special smile.

Pastor Sandy, thank you for always being there with your uplifting spirit.   I send my love and blessings
to you.....

January, 2009

One by one they were gone from her life. She wondered at times,
when your mother and grandmother are gone, where does a woman go for advice?
A thought to ponder. Especially since she tended to be a loner. Always busy and not doing what the masses were involved in. So true friendships were few and far between.
When she looked back over her life there were probably about 6 different women other then her mother and grandmother who she could share her heart with. Only a part was shared and never the whole picture. Each person knew her differently and would not understand her whole personality. At this particular time the majority of these women are no longer living. There is one person for about 14 years that she can share anything without embarrassment.
From time to time when she feels overwhelmed, depleted emotionally and needs a compassionate listener, a word of wisdom that makes sense, or just to feel loved -  she still contacts this special lady.
She remembers the first time she heard her speak. A new church and she was a teacher and now a pastor. Her words were like a soothing balm. This special lady had experienced so much that had happened in her own life and probably is still happening. She understands and does not judge. So the thought always arises when she is stressed out - this special lady - was able to make it and I can also.
She almost picked up the phone yesterday and placed a call. Finally she was able to handle the emotional upheaval, sadness and questions in her heart and mind.
As she continues her list of blessings this special lady continues to be at the top of the list.
She wonders do others have someone special like this?
She wonders if others need someone like this? I think at times we all do.

Some thoughts from One Woman on her Journey Through This Life.


Judy said...

Yes, Ernestine, I think we all need someone that we can truly talk to and share our deepest emotions. I have two wonderful girlfriends I have known for many, many years. I cherish their friendship. I saw your pewtew in the picture below. I have a set of the same pattern of pewter dishes as yours.

Tabor said...

This post follows my experiences closely. I am not one to easily share all with someone. Right now my daughter is the closest...but because she is a daughter I cannot share all. That is too great a burden to place on her. I have recently re-united with an old high school classmate and am beginning to feel a closeness.

Darlene said...

I think everyone needs a good friend who will listen without being judgmental. You are fortunate to have one who is still there for you.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Judy, Tabor and Darlene, thank you so much for your comments. I feel a special bond with each of you.
A surprise blessing for me since entering the computer world last March.

Cryme said...

Thank you for posting on something I have been thinking about a lot! In the past, I was always too busy or too distracted to be conscious about friendship - meaning I didn't do much to BE a good friend...mostly took people for granted...Thank goodness my friends were better at it - since most of them are still around and we make it a priority to keep up,show up, and support each other. At this stage of my life, I am really understanding how important it is to BE a good friend and I feel blessed that I have begun to do this. However, there is no one "best" friend whom I would call to pour my heart out..and while I feel that is missing and a loss...I have always been pretty private...(so here I am telling everything on the internet..(as they say,"go figure!) - Keep writing...YOU make me think!

Lonely Rivers said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Cryme, thanks for commenting.
We have a lot of similar traits.
Keep writing. It is good for you.
If we disappear from the net - most do not even know who we are.

kenju said...

I think we all need someone to talk to, where we don't have to think of what not to say, where we will be accepted, no matter what we say. I have been fortunate to have several women friends like that, and I wouldn't trade them for the world!

Caroline said...

Beautiful post. My Mom is still here...but for how much longer? When she is gone, I will only have my angels to guide me. I am lucky to have a few old friends to talk to...that helps!

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Kenju and Caroline, thank you for taking the time to comment.
Caroline thank you for reminding me that I have a host of angels watching over me.

MsGraysea said...

What a great topic....a friend like that is vital to me, and there has been a lot of time lately when my closest and dearest confidant has been out of reach (in her 50's she has gone back to law school), and yesterday she called me and we had the perfect heart to heart chat. Such a gift to start the New Year.
Love the new header photo. Very beautiful!

Beverly said...

Just a wonderful post. I have bad one such friend for forty years, and two other close friends of 25 years. My cousin who is my age was also like a sister to me. My mother said we would "jabber" to each other as babies and she said we seemed to understand what the other was saying.
I find I share differently with each one of my friends. I know which one will understand what is concerning me at the time.
I find my blogging friends are just as important as the one I can reach out and touch. I can be touched by the new friends of the blogging world in the same way...

Sky said...

i believe we all benefit when we share our feelings. fear of being judged and/or rejected stop us, i think.

i have been able to share my feelings fairly easily with those i trust. i feel as though i will burst open if i don't, so i do it for personal relief! people usually find it easy to share things with me, too. maybe my own disclosure encourages theirs.

i have a sister who is only 14 months younger; i can share anything with her. several friends are confidants as well. i really miss my mother in this regard. her dementia keeps her at an emotional distance and deprives me of mutual conversation. i miss that deeply. i am lucky that my husband is my best friend and is always there for me to confide in. he knows all the ugly places inside me as well as the more appealing ones. most of all he knows the vulnerable, scared, and tender parts of me.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

sky thanks for visiting. you are fortunate to have so many you feel such a closeness.

Judy said...

I found this post to be true in my life also. Although I have a few very close friends--I think each of them sees me differently--and yet they have known me since I was five. I sure miss my mother and grandmother!

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Judy, so true. Everyone views us differently. I probably have about different 5 hats I have worn through the years. This one is the best :)

lil red hen said...

The woman, about whom you write, could be me!! I don't have but one close friend; my mother passed away 24 years ago, and I don't see my sister very much. I realize this is probably my fault because I have this fear of leaving home, and if I got close to someone, she would expect too much from me. Blogging friends give me a connection to having friends. Thank you for your comments on my blog, new friend.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

lil red hen, thank you for visiting. I write about me :)

shannon said...

Love this post Ernestine! My Mother and Grandmother are both gone, I do have a daughter whom I am very close too, but, do not always share the really emotional stuff with her, she has enough of her own:)
But, I do want her to know, as women, we do share many similarities,and can help each other.
I do have a few VERY dear friends, and I am so lucky to have them.
Today happens to be the Birthday of my very dearest friend, who passed away a few years ago at age 56 of breast cancer, oh, I miss her so much!! We could share all with each other.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Shannon, thank you for visiting :)

Anonymous said...

Ernestine, this is a touching post. Just yesterday I was remembering a friendship that meant a great deal to me for many years. My friend and I came to a crossroads in our relationship several years ago and the friendship ultimately ended. I still miss her! I have never been close to my mother and I did not grow up near my grandmother. She died when I was young. So, the go-to people, the ones I have leaned on in my life, have been my female friends. As I have branched out in many directions, I find there are few people now to whom I can relate who really know who I am. But, there are a few, and I don't what I would do without them. I have found it frequently necessary to walk along in this journey of my life on my own. And I have come to value this part of my process as well. You are not alone.