Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

In The Garden

Orchids have begun blooming
sharing a few plants
and since I lost last year gardening
I am so pleased with these.
Not a good week
seems blood pressure up to 200 plus again
Doctor appointment tomorrow
and will increase some medication.

Dislike sharing
but severe panic attack this morning.
Do not like what is going on
and I feel as though much being treated for
they do not know.

May just put up a gate
shut it
never leave
and enjoy my garden, home, and creatures that visit.

Girls busy and truly do not understand much
I understand but guess I want a hug
see how childish I am.


lil red hen said...

I understand about the panic attacks; it doesn't take much to send me into one.
And we all need those hugs from the ones we love. Share as much as you want to because most of us feel the same way. HUGS!!!

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Charlotte, Bless you and thank you. Told I am doing fine, but this is not fine to me.
I am ready to go and seems the Lord does not want me yet. Always active, could do everything
and they want to send you from doctor to doctor, guess their income. Need to stop sharing :)

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

Don't stop sharing, and count our comments back to you as 'hugs' for you. I pray that you will feel God's loving, comforting presence surrounding and flowing through you dear Ernestine. He will take you home when the time is right. Keep enjoying your lovely home and gardens and the critters that visit.

Love, hugs & prayers ~ FlowerLady

Starzz said...

Hugs to you Ernestine. I completely understand your fear and I am sure you just don't want to be running to the doctor and not enjoying your home and garden. Your blooms are lovely.

MsGraysea said...

I understand so much of what you are feeling ad then the BP issues. I have just arrived home from spending a few days in the hospital with BP issues. I swear some of the drugs increase the BP. When I appeared for a BP check at my dr's the other day, I knew it would be bad. but it was so scary at 230/138. that they immediately called the paramedics and shipped me off to the ER. It doesn't help that my beloved brother just died a few weeks ago, and my wonderful sister in Canada, has just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 4 different places. The grief in my family is so deep, and being the oldest they all look to me. Anyway, I had to come off the old meds and am on a new one, and home hoping it will work. I so feel your frustration.
But I also feel renewed by the incredible help and care I received in the hospital...such kindness. I am just gripping onto the beauty around me. Hope you can do the same. Keep writing and sharing It is OK, and such a help t others to know we are not alone.
Love and gratitude to you for all our sharing through the years.....Marcia

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

MsGraysea, so sorry, I understand, could not share on youg blog,

Wisewebwoman said...

Consider yourself hugged Ernestine. Honesty is so important. Do not give up on the BP. Mine was awful for years and now under control for the most part. Many different drugs. Some made me crazy and ill. I am on many now but try not to focus too much on them because, like you, I get stressed out. They are sticking me together.

I love your flowers. Stare into the heart of one of your flowers. The universe is there.

Big love to you today.


Suemn said...

Ernestine, The flowers in your gardens are so healthy and beautiful. A big hug from me to you!

Judy said...

Did the panic attack come after you read your blood pressure?
I know that feeling and also a panic attack that drives up the blood pressure. Scary.
Sometimes I get so lonely for a hug--just one hug. I get hugs at family celebrations, which are few and far between. Those hugs last for a day or two, and then no calls, no contact and I go back to feeling they don't care.
Level 80 is a hard one and I don't except it gets any better as the 81 or 82 or any years in that level come along.
What's the use of even staying around? I guess we have to find the strength and enjoyment of life in what we have close at hand. In our "me alone" life.

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

Your flowers are so pretty. I enjoy seeing them. Panic attacks are awful. I've had them in the past, and I hope yours will stop happening.

Years ago I went to a church where hugging, in a friendly, not handsy, way, was a normal thing. It was nice and I know it did a lot of good for the older people who were on their own, and everyone else, too.

I agree with Flower Lady Lorraine, "Count our comments back to you as hugs".

I'm sending hugs to you now.

Tabor said...

Wondering if the medications are part of the issue. YOu need to take all your meds to the doctor and go over them one by one if you are on several. I am so sorry, because I know that you meditate to control your body and mind. I do think hugs are the best medicine and your girls need to put their life on hold for just tiny bit and hug you more.

PatK said...

Your flowers always trigger happy and calming memories for me. Just when there seems to be a downturn a flower blood s once again reminding me that while each year brings new challenges, the cycle of beauty repeats itself again
Focus on the amazing miracle each bloom presents to our eyes.

Gemma's person said...

Hugs to you my dear.
Love the flower photos, thank you, beautiful.
If you feel better to share then do it.
Love reading you and seeing the beauty in your world. Spreads to my world.

Sharon said...

Your flowers are gorgeous. I am sending you a virtual hug and a huge thank you for keeping in touch with your writing - you give us a place to check in and see how others are doing as well. I have put my blog on the back burner but now think it's time to start again because I miss connecting with blog friends....

Marcie said...

Sending love and hugs across the miles.