A busy inside day
as it was raining on and off all day
Still trying to not bring up much in my memory. Much that happened over the months medically
will surface and disturbs me. Much I really had forgotten but evidently deep in the
subconscious of over a year of people in my home I did not know and now a few special items
best to just forget but difficult. In many ways, I am me again.
Yes, Me with health challenges going on.
I am either too sensitive, continually looking for answers
or accustomed to knowing all and being in facilities, much medication told for healing, much has
gone deep into my subconscious - for lack of better explanation.
If I share with a doctor
they just listen
and really do not explain much to me.
Do they even know? Truly would like to never go to a doctor again and just go and sit by the
woods and my flowers for healing.
A lot of paperwork stacked on my desk over the many months,
accustomed to being organized
finally up to going through much and sorting.
Some days I feel I am doing well
and other days
still, become frightened
that what has happened
will happen again.
Wonder if I am different
but then we are each unique
and maybe most people
do not question a lot I question.
My walking and balance is not good at all
because of arthritis
and knee replacement never is done in the past.
I am fine when sitting,
I keep moving, rarely stop
up at 5:00 and in bed by 7:30
my lifetime practice.
doors and windows open for the day
and love seeing all of nature.
Told to rest more, maybe a nap in the afternoon
have never done this and love doing what I do
but I think I need to be more careful. When out at the market
use my cane, some mention those horrible electric things
not me, will walk and hold onto the cart, if uncomfortable
someone can go with me.
Very honest as I share
maybe too honest.
Do not really think my children like hearing all of this,
Maybe my true feelings make them sad or they want to forget
this is going on with their mother.
I am so happy I can write
from my heart.
and share my feelings