Sharing

Have not been up to sharing
but must with so many over the years
reading my "Online Diary."

Blood work and ex rays revealed I am really quite healthy
even with all that is going on much arthritis and aging :)

But was revealed a very high protein level in my blood
which could be multiple melanoma.
The only way a correct diagnosis can be made is with
a bone marrow biopsy.

I do not want this test  but need to know and also to be fair with my children
so they will know.

Told it is at a 50/50 chance.
If it is positive it was shared a treatment will be with medication and steroids.
  I do not like medication and side affects
but now at one step at a time.

Appointment next Tuesday at hospital in Nashville where bone marrow biopsy
will be done.

One minute I am calm and the next kind of emotional with
what if?   In my heart I feel I do not have this and do not want this test.

At 80 I do not want a lot of additional  years but do want the best quality of life I can have,
and told if I have melanoma in my bones and take medication it will give me a better quality of life
for remaining years and if I do not take medication and have this
would not be much quality of life left for me.

Jamie has been so good to me
taking off work
to be with me at oncologist office and so impressed with her note taking.

I smile that after these 3 visits
she sent me an email saying
she was extraordinarily proud of me of the way I handled myself
and thorough questions that I asked :)  I will always remember these words...

Thanks for all the emails
and keeping me in your thoughts
through the next weeks....