At This Moment

She walks in her garden
cane in hand
and takes her foot
to push landscaping boards
to make flower garden a little smaller.
The same thing is done for the small vegetable garden
and next Spring it will be smaller.
It is beyond her imagination to think of a tomato that is  not plucked from her vine,
cucumber picked along with lettuce and squash and it is only for one.

All that is loved with a passion is surveyed
and words this morning made the comment
"when you were planting I wonder how you would take care of it all."
None are aware of her deep pleasure in what she does
and that it was a dream come true
to return to her woods.

With 6 weeks of not taking care of everything her self
even though a little help she told what to do and
that now seems to have disappeared
it is evident it is not up to her standard
as she looks at her surroundings with tears in her eyes.

Seems at this time difficult to find another who would help her dig in the dirt,
maybe stopping for a glass or cup of tea, not talking and just enjoying nature
for a few hours.

Yesterday gravel arrived for road and one delivering looked around and said
"your surroundings are beautiful" also one who came to give a bid for something
to cover old truck - made the same remark....
and old truck you will just have to continue the same like your mistress as not adding cover.

Looked online at retirement options in the big city
and this is not her.    She prayed and all fell in place to return to the land she loved.
Now is the time to accept being surrounded by untamed nature
and as special son has said many times
"lower your standards, rest more and just accept."
It is not easy for this one
and ashamed to admit this truth.
So time will tell what is to be
as all falls in place naturally.....

Family weary of hearing these remarks
but in years to come
they may remember the words
or choose not to remember
and maybe think she has lost it.

At the moment
one in Paris and it sounds Divine

One on a short trip to the mountains with two little ones and finally settled in a nice
dwelling after discovering first choice was covered with mold :(
Another sharing about plans when his niece visits soon and a trip to a Thai beach.
Another one's mind is filled with next years wedding plans
and another is probably out filling her cupboards for next weeks work from home.

This one receives their notes,
smiles, sometimes shakes her head
as their lives and desires are so different
from the matriarch in this family.

Beautiful days,
leaves will soon begin to color,
Callie hardly takes her eyes of this one
and even with  all that has happened lately
she feels she has been showered with blessings.