People who have not known me long sometimes think I have it all together.
What are some of my difficulties? I have a problem of sitting still. I envy people who seem so relaxed and can sit for hours. I am well organized and everything always appears neat and taken care of. I have a number of lists of things to do. They are on my desk and in the kitchen. You would think I was running a business instead of One Woman living in the smallest home she has lived in. Now I want something even smaller and sometimes think of wanting to be an aging female Thoreau. Maybe I have lost it!!! Do know I am more at peace surrounded by nature.
One of the reasons for the title of this journal "My Journey To Mindfulness" is I am trying so diligently to do one thing at a time instead of multi-tasking. In the past I would never talk on the phone without roaming. I would be straightening a drawer, dusting and just pacing the floor. When I was eating I would sometimes be glancing at something that needed to be read or sometimes be watching the news.
I find it very difficult to still my mind and relax. That is one of the reasons I like to garden. Also read when I can make myself sit still. Winter months are good for this. But I find I am restless.
My new interest in writing my journal and photography should be good for me. My stepfather use to make the comment that I had to many interest. I would marvel at this man that could sit for hours at his desk or a table tinkering with a clock and my mother could sit for hours and quilt.
For as far as I can remember I have always had a project. Guess that is one reason for me planning another project. I do have a good trait that I can plan in detail something and if it does not come to be it does not bother me. I had someone remark once that if they put all that thought into something, it would bother them if it did not become a reality.
When I was looking at homes in this area and thinking of a move I could visualize living in the home and where I would place items. In my mind the landscaping and gardening was also created.
I obsess sometimes to a fault. When I do not have the full information it truly bothers me.
If I have all the information - like health concerns - then I am fine and can accept what is happening. I stay concerned about my children, my grandchildren and close friends.
I plan to far in the future. Having different options in my mind for different things that might happen. This is good as I age but then again I do it to a fault. I try to take one day at a time and not look back. I do not do to well at this. I want so to be good at this aging process and I do not think I am doing to well, at the moment - hope to improved.
So, what are some of your imperfections? Can you confess like this One Woman?
Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh is a book I pick up often. Maybe not often enough.
Some thoughts from One Woman on her Journey Through This Life