Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Monday, November 24, 2008

My Big Time Imperfections

People who have not known me long sometimes think I have it all together.
No way!!

What are some of my difficulties? I have a problem of sitting still. I envy people who seem so relaxed and can sit for hours. I am well organized and everything always appears neat and taken care of. I have a number of lists of things to do. They are on my desk and in the kitchen. You would think I was running a business instead of One Woman living in the smallest home she has lived in. Now I want something even smaller and sometimes think of wanting to be an aging female Thoreau. Maybe I have lost it!!! Do know I am more at peace surrounded by nature.

One of the reasons for the title of this journal "My Journey To Mindfulness" is I am trying so diligently to do one thing at a time instead of multi-tasking. In the past I would never talk on the phone without roaming. I would be straightening a drawer, dusting and just pacing the floor. When I was eating I would sometimes be glancing at something that needed to be read or sometimes be watching the news.

I find it very difficult to still my mind and relax. That is one of the reasons I like to garden. Also read when I can make myself sit still. Winter months are good for this. But I find I am restless.
My new interest in writing my journal and photography should be good for me. My stepfather use to make the comment that I had to many interest. I would marvel at this man that could sit for hours at his desk or a table tinkering with a clock and my mother could sit for hours and quilt.

For as far as I can remember I have always had a project. Guess that is one reason for me planning another project. I do have a good trait that I can plan in detail something and if it does not come to be it does not bother me. I had someone remark once that if they put all that thought into something, it would bother them if it did not become a reality.
When I was looking at homes in this area and thinking of a move I could visualize living in the home and where I would place items. In my mind the landscaping and gardening was also created.

I obsess sometimes to a fault. When I do not have the full information it truly bothers me.
If I have all the information - like health concerns - then I am fine and can accept what is happening. I stay concerned about my children, my grandchildren and close friends.
I plan to far in the future. Having different options in my mind for different things that might happen. This is good as I age but then again I do it to a fault. I try to take one day at a time and not look back. I do not do to well at this. I want so to be good at this aging process and I do not think I am doing to well, at the moment - hope to improved.

So, what are some of your imperfections? Can you confess like this One Woman?

Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh is a book I pick up often. Maybe not often enough.

Some thoughts from One Woman on her Journey Through This Life


Darlene said...

It is hard to give up a lifetime of habits. You sound like a neighbor of mine. She is 82 and whatever she tackles is done well. She has her house clean by 9 am and by then has also walked her dog, sometimes her neighbor's dog, put the newspaper by the front door of those who are less agile, puts their trash barrels out on collection day and then she is on the go. She volunteers at a hospital one day, goes to the movies and lunch with friends, etc. etc. I always think of the song "Little old lady passing by, catching everyone's eye." as she bustles down the sidewalk.

I do not see your activities as faults, they are simply your ability to multi-task. I envy you, because I can sit for hours and watch the dust accumulate.

Liza on Maui said...

I worry too much. I do trust God and pary a lot - but I really think "worry" is part of my imperfection.

Judy said...

Hi Ernestine. I think we are so much alike. I can't be still either. I don't have the patience to sew or knit because I would have to sit there to do it. I am a multitasker, also. My supervisor at work used to tell me I was the best she ever saw at it. I still do it a lot but am trying to stop and smell the roses more. My mind is constantly going about something and I worry about my children a lot. If I get bored, I walk the floor, wondering what I can get into. I am doing better with that, too. Great post.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Darlene, I need some of your personality, Liza, I pray about everything also and dear Judy - maybe we are twins. Yes, I notice from the way you write that we are much alike.