Her ticking friend has been missed. You sat on her mother's dresser for years. The time came when she was at a point of death. This was 9 years ago and she was 83 years of age. She was told to go to her home and tell her stepfather who was suffering from Alzheimer's that she was going to take this clock and have it repaired. She was not sure he would let her take the clock. He did and her mother passed away about 2 days later.The clock was put back into running order and sat on her mantel for 8 years. It quit ticking about the time One Woman began a woods home.
Finally after 5 months back in her possession this morning. She tried repeatedly to contact the repair person who had it in his possession - to no avail. Call after call not answered. Finally last night she was told that she could pick it up this morning. As she arrived at 7:00 this morning - this!!!!! repairman was pulling out of his drive. So much could be shared but will not. She thanked the repairman and drove home. This special clock is sitting on her mantel and it is like it is smiling at me or better yet, my mother is smiling at me. It is home at last.
Over the last few years it is difficult to find someone to repair old clocks. Wonder if in the future she will have 6 clocks and none of them work? They usually need to be serviced about every 5 years. Wonder what they did in the past years?
A confession that this has been a difficult week for One Woman. A phone call from someone that should not be calling - but the calls are getting less frequent. Think he calls because of guilt feelings - he will have to deal with that. Sometimes emotions just surface. Why is it when you think you have overcome something that here it comes again. I read somewhere that grief, pain and anger have many layers. They are stripped away one by one. When one resurfaces there is still something to learn, and it is a good time to ask "what am I to learn". Hope all the stripping away has been done. Do not like feeling "emotional". http://www.awakeisgood.com/
What did One Woman learn and this was good. All through her past years she took hurt, grief and pain and turned them on herself. Would feel hurt feelings and pain deep in her heart. This time and probably the first time in her life, she felt anger. Know what it felt "good". This emotion should have been felt years ago. Guess she is a slow learner. Hey but it least I learn. One Woman is still on her journey.
The weather has been beautiful. I have raked and worked until I ache in every part of my body. Just cannot stay inside. Looks like more days of sun and wonderful temperatures.
18 comments:
Ernestine,
Thank you for this reference and I am so glad to know that any words I spoke opened a pathway for you. The journey of healing you are on is not easy...but you are faithful, and I so appreciate that. Esp. healing from woundedness/betrayal by a trusted intimate partner. It does take time.
My divorce was 7 years ago and it amazes me (even though I am in a loving, amazing partnerership now), how pain and grief will still arise. Layers, more layers. Will it ever stop? I hope so. But this is the path to full awakening, as you well know. :-) We must continue to release all that keeps us from living as our vibrant, glorious selves. May we hold ourselves tenderly through it all.
Hugs to you this day. Blessings too! (What a gorgeous old clock. A treasure, for sure.)
Jan, thank you for your comment.
With a Christian background I always thought that when you forgave someone (whether you felt like it or not) it was over.
No way. That is the beginning of the journey to wholeness.
The metaphor of the clocks working and not working is so timely. One Woman can be open or closed, aware or unaware, but you know what?
She is still beautiful and fully deserving of patience, gentleness, and love.
Mermaid, as I read your comment my eyes fill with tears. Why do I relate so much to what you say. I could feel your warmth over the miles.
I know that in spirit I could be your mother.
We are from different generations but in some ways seem to be journeying together. Then I guess we all are - that is you choose to take the journey. You are very wise.
Hi Ernestine, I am so glad you got your clock back. I know it is like an old friend to you. I guess we all live and learn by our experiences. I know where you are coming from and you will get where you are going. Sometimes, it just takes a while.
betrayal is such a deeply egregious act, and when it comes from someone we trust so implicitly, our partner in life, it cuts us to the core. now that you are in able to feel your anger the deep healing will follow. i am glad for you, happy that you will be able to open yourself more to all that you feel and the wholeness of YOU.
i am very glad you have the clock back. i would have worried that the repair person might have been planning to keep it! we have a few of these wonderful antique clocks in our family, too. it can be hard to find someone to clean and "tune" them. sounds like you might need a new repair person next time!
sending you hugs, ernestine.
When the anger comes I never thought about embracing it as a part of healing and then moving on. That is what it is...one of the layers of healing, I guess. Just as long as we don't let it drain us of energy. All my raking and blowing of leaves is now for naught as this storm has moved through!
Dear Souther Lady, Sky and Tabor - my special friends - thank you for your comments that I found this early morning. Have been trying to take a picture of the moon.
Difficult to say the least.
Oh, the wind yesterday blew away most of the leaves around my cottage. I watched in wonder and smiled. Sky - you are on target - I thought this repairman was going to keep my clock. All is well!!! Blessings to each of you today.
There are many layers of messages in this post and each one is profound. The ticking of a clock reminds me of the safety of childhood, the solidness I felt from my parents and grandparents. I love the old clock I got from my grandmother...it reassures me that all is well with the world.
and yes, layers of forgiveness. LAYERS! The good thing is, that over time, I've been able now to find some humor in the incredible humanness of each betrayal. some kind of "divine comedy" I guess!
blessings to you....
HI Ernestine!
Thanks for visiting.
Yes I've kinda been missing on the internet.
I am loving your header picture... as you know I love sunrises and sunsets.
Your post is thought provoking... thanks for sharing.
Life Potential, thank you so much for visiting. I went immediately to your site - you spoke to my heart.
Mim, good to hear from you.
Blessings to both of you!!
Good morning!
Guess what my mindful friend? You are the winner of the recent Book Giveaway at my site. I need to send you a copy of my book, Awakening the Spirit Within. I just know you are going to love this little collection of reflections for sacred living, Ernestine. I am happy it was you!. E-me please, with your snail mail address. :-)
Have a glorious and blessed day!
Jan
awakenedliving.com
Jan, thank you so very much. First book I have ever won.
Looking forward to reading this special book.
This is a beautiful post. It touched me because you shared a personal step on your journey, one that will take you that much further along.
We have two antique clocks and had a similar experience trying to get them fixed. We were able to contact the clockmaker but kept taking the clocks back to him because when we got them home they didn't work right. Finally it seems that both are working, at least for the moment.
Sharon, thank you for visiting.
Come by again!!! Blessings sent your way.
Ernestine,
The clock is lovely and how nice that you have it back!
Betrayal re-emerging is something I live with as well you know. All I can say is that time balances it all out by swinging its pendulum. Sometimes the swings go out wide and bring all the pain, confusion, and rawness back to the fore. It is OK. It needs to happen, and usually, they can show you just how far you have come. Just the same, it is painful. How nice that during this time, you have sunny days to immerse yourself in your garden and yard work. Always a healing place to be.
Peace to you!
Marcia, thank you for checking in.
I know the trip was wonderful.
Yes, we have traveled some similar paths. Take care!!!
Pain that is ingrained so deeply... hurt that invokes such feelings, will often rise to the surface once again when life becomes unsettled by something or someone from the past. My pain is current and daily, watching my dearest love suffer so long and without complaint. My anger must be contained - hence my poems of love, they release this anquish and this week they were published in an anthology of which I am extremelly proud. To channel our thoughts as we do, is such a release. My very best wishes and best thoughts come your way dear lady. In my anthology is a verse about my Father's clock that sits in my hall at "Hemingway" which with it's gentle tick tock brings me great comfort.
the link to my book to buy on-line with 'our story' is:
http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/ my best wishes to you Ernestine.
Post a Comment