Computer is it you or Me

For several days I wanted to write a new post and post pictures. 
Could not log in.
3 hours one day and another day 2.   It troubles me to bother my writer - Jamie.
Well everything just appeared again, so have no idea what was going on.

Did some searching and was told they were doing something different with blogger.

Hopefully everything is back to normal.

Cold mornings, in the low 30's and I even spotted frost several early mornings.

A busy morning, trip to the dentist and then back to my area for ultra sound results.   Seems
all is well and dark on ankles is blood stain where vein had a problem.   Told stain will not go away
and must wear a support stocking, from ankle to below knee.  Ordered on Amazon and oh my
how difficult to put a 1/2 of a stocking on - feels good once on and said would support these
small legs :)

Will be writing again soon.

All who comment have become special friends
need you....

November starts tomorrow
and then with December the end of the year....

The Way It Was and Day Going By Too Rapidly.....

Up the stairs carefully and so glad when building 8 years ago put two hand rails) up to loft to tackle ironing that has been on the board  for months(moved from storage room for this project)  4 pair of white slacks will store until next Spring, ironed 6 pillow cases, 2 blouses, still 4 things will do later and have ironing board put back in storage room where I usually ironed but moved in front window because I like looking out the big window :)

Help yesterday "God Bless him" brought many plants inside as it is suppose to frost in a few days.
Last year plants on screen porch and lost 2 huge plants that I had for 25 years or more, like losing a special friend and also reorganized the garage - all the chores I did up until 2 years ago and now cannot (:

some in garage

Remember at one time 5 bedrooms, every bed dust ruffles, special pillows, they looked so pretty.
Now my bed room down stairs, guest room on loft.  Continuing going through clothes, now one young granddaughter

is bigger then grandma and my youngest, I am not her style.   But a lot of beautiful sweaters every
now and then they like.  Sweaters over 50 years  and realize that Cashmere always looks great and the older ones nicer then what you purchase now,  have always taken good care of them and hand washed.  Continue down scaling and want this cottage almost empty when my ashes are in the
garden....

Planned on short trip to town today but really do not like  leaving this cottage, cool weather but when the sun is shining it is beautiful

an Iris a friend shares, blooms twice a year and is still going strong, I will cover and my special sign
says it all, time to start spegetti sauce :)

Colder Mornings

 Heat is on for a short time, days begin in the 40's.

Just pulled the down comforter off of the top shelf to put on my bed.
Remember 35 years ago living in the drafty old farmhouse that I could not stay warm at night.  Wish I could have slept in front of the nightly wood stove that was burning (would pull my chair up in front of it at night and read, miss a wood burning fire)  sharing with special daughter who lives in upper Michigan.   She told me I needed a down comforter, ordered one, mine is that old and so warm it is.

Thank you Mary....

So off the shelf, put in the dryer to fluff and to think how old this one is, they never wear out.  Use to keep a cotton cover on it, but now leave it bare.  Shopping with a special friend who is now deceased
spotted this pillow in the window of a small shop, (Happily Every After) bought it and she said "it needs fringe and I will put it on for you"  Clarice you are missed, never anyone like you has come along.

Returning from ultrasound late yesterday (later then I like to be out) coming down the country road
their were 2 rainbows in the sky, they always bless me when I see them, wish I had my camera with me.

A day at home, hopefully attending to much that has been left undone.

Thank you joared, never thought of medical marijuana.   Therapist called and coming this afternoon, I asked does anyone in this community use this, his answer "a lot" and if you ever took it you would
gain weight.   Good I replied need about 8 lbs.

So day is beginning on the mat, breakfast.

Sun to shine, nice as now I go to bed it is dark and up and it is dark.

A heart full of thankfulness continues and will be glad when I hear results of ultrsound in a week.

Remembering

There was a time in my past when every leaf hit the ground I raked them up, not anymore they are beautiful.

A rainy day and I am home, so nice and a lot of organizing papers on desk and closet with clothes
for this season.  Have chili and vegetable soup in the freezer and something simple I will make
peel apples and make a apple upside down cake, even have pecans to sprinkle in the butter and
brown sugar.   Sounds like Fall.   For years made a pineapple upside down cake and last year made
the apple - so good and very simple.

         just out of the oven - another time an addition of raisins - smells so good and so easy
         was not as easy to flip this time - so heavy but did it :)


Orthopedic doctor last Wednesday and my Jamie with me.   Everything the same, shots help pain in shoulders, knees that is a different story.  This healthy one through the years is now experiencing a lot with this petite body I did not expect.  Realize more then ever  nothing lasts forever.  So please all of you young ones Take Care of Yourselves....Told once again that they do not think I am a good candidate for knee surgery, not sure at this time if I agree. May go ahead since they tell me I have a lot of years ahead - oh my really I will be really ancient.   Something new is going to be tried if my insurance will cover.  3 shots over 3 weeks of a thick substance and some say it helps
the knee for weeks and others comment it does not.   Will see....

Trying something new, no pain or inflammatory medication, started 4 days ago and stopped
Tylenol 8 hour pain relief 3 times a day and several other things.  So far I feel better, will wait and see.

so checking in and just do not like sharing health issues

but guess part of this journey.    Thanks to the many who comment and email me.   Helps me   continue my joy of writing ...................

Wednesday and ultra sound on darkening ankle, told nothing serious, an issue sometimes with aging

a leaking vein.   Never heard of it, no weight on this one, no veins, just nice clear legs,

no heart problem.   So just something else to check and maybe just cauterize a vein

and wear a sock from ankle to below knee with pressure.   Oh my why does anyone want to read this because I surely do not like sharing.....

Guess Fall is Here

Tried to catch an image of the fog this early morning
high 30's my girl just called from city and on her way to take me for the dreaded
cortisone shots.... Bless her, a long drive and so early in the morning.

UPDATING - Fainting and My Pretty Girls

Will continue.  Wednesday night, pain increasing and continually told to take Tramadole, even 2.and never have so I though Thursday morning I had a good breakfast so morning I took one.

I took Thursday morning at 10 and in the next 15 minutes broke out in a heavy sweat,

sick at my stomach and headed for bathroom.   I woke up on the floor, had fainted.

so all night Friday very high blood pressure and called emailed son in Thailand when I wrote "call me"

he immediately did, they are 12 hours ahead, 

he told me to call 911 and go to ER.   Just hated to call but now blood pressure over 200 all night and called 9l1/

After I woke up on floor Tramadol had taken affect and less pain.   Had a huge know on top of head.

ribs were very sore.  Just stayed here will pain, head and ribs aching, did not want to go to ER/

Friday night awake all night and emailed my son in Thailand he immediately emailed me, could not reach daughters at the time in the night,

So call 9ll, this experience frightens me as I have done 2 other times in the past.

Er eukaryote, cat scan, and so thankful just badly bruised ribs and top of head.

So today just not feeling well, slight headache and slight nauseated., no appetite.

Pushing food or ensure and told to rest ( I am not a good resting person)

Told this will take a while to heal and not feel pain in rib cage and on top of head.

I could have broken something. SO THANKFUL

So called receptionist - nurse and doctor not available, she said she would pass on.

Have not heard from doctor ?

Friday visit from Jamie and girls and today my Beth arrived

the helper I use is on vacation and will be back on Tuesday.

A little confused hope this makes sense, just had not planned on ER visit

but glad I did so I know what is going on...

they made a visit yesterday - so welcome they were

Shelby (Caitlin's best friend) my Jamie, Caitlin and Amelia.

Oh my, so pretty and smart they are
my blessings overflow.

I tell Jamie - Please guard them .....

This morning, my Beth is arriving to take her mama to the grocery and gas in car.

To be continued
finally a Tramadol pain pill
fainting and 911.

Today

Remember.......


Maybe being powerful
means being fragile

Al Wewei


One of the most difficult people to forgive
is yourself.
Yet with patience and determination
it can be done

Allan Lokos

On This Day

On this day I was born in my grandmother's bed to my 18 year old mother.
Not quite 5 lbs and my mother told me she embroidered E's on my gowns.  Wish she had saved me one:)   My mother came down with scarlet fever and this one with double pnemonia - a difficult time.
No baby pictures and do not remember having a doll.  That's alright as it was difficult times for them.

A clear, cloudy and warm in the 80's day.

a man who helped me wash window's 35 years go, named Bill, talented at carving and did this
for me.  I wanted him to carve inside a tree for me but he disappeared.  Basil is thriving and
the scent is wonderful in the kitchen.

Some of my girls will arrive soon and happy for this

Candles are burning along with healing incense and time for the mat and then breakfast.


Spotted a red fox in the yard 2 days ago.
could not find my camera quick enough (image from google)
but this looks just like him or her....

I Look Back Through the Years

Update at 1:00

I was going to delete this post

as different comments from several children.

Just noticted that 186 prople had already read it this morning

so guess I will leave it.  It is me and part of my journey..

Was not going to post today, thought tomorrow, but with rain a long day ahead and not planning on posting tomorrow, I will post this Sunday morning.....

Have dates wrong, just estimated.

40 years ago with my mother at my special farm house

I can see it from the windows of this much loved cottage that sits by the woods.

first grandchild, my Jessica
Jamie and this one 30 years ago.
First trip after my divorce 42 years ago with Jimmy and Jamie.  Oh my how I have wanted
to return,  It never happened and I dream of the 14 times on that island.

starting over in the country house with my 2 youngest, older in college

and bless his heart my son back and forth to city school

a new life and it was finally the real me

Jamie and I - a new life in the country

20 years ago Jessica and grandma I love a swing - one at every home

Amelia about 8 years ago

about 5 years ago, my Laurie the oldest and her 2 children, my grandchildren Jessica and Gavin
and my son, Jimmy.

With granddaughter Sarah, the chef - 3 years ago

I was 2 months pregnant with my Jamie at this time, Laurie, Beth, Jimmy and special daughter Mary who was with me for 14 years, divorce coming A stormy time and so sorry.  A marriage that produced wonderful talanted children but was not good for me with so much responsibilty on me with managing a lot in our business, home, children and a husband I could not depend on.
A business that was the American dream come true, grew rapidly and was closed with recession.

vowed never to share, these years truly were the unhappiest time in my life 

living room and my bedroom in the fine city home

never missed it as this life almost destroyed me.

pictures not in order cannot find many

                                      .

last year

2 years ago

Now traveling
through these  80,s
where has time gone ?
My life has included everything, Happiness, creating, careers, sadness, good  health and never health problems until
last few years when happiness and peace over flows in my soul.

So Who Are These People

I rarely check statistics on my journal and just looked.

Septmber - 4445 people read my words over the years - ancient one in the woods impressed :)

Yesterday - 135

Today by 5:00 - 158

Wish they would write a few words, now this morning 2 new people that have never commented before.   So it seems a lot of people know a lot about the lifestyle of an ancient one
who lives by the edge of the woods :)

Just returned from market, post office and drove down the street where I created a home in
the Historical section of Springfield.   The prettiest street, after being their 2 years as an
experiment put the home on the market thinking if it sold I would relocate to Nashville
near my 3 children.    Oh my it sold in 2 weeks, so onward I went going to the big city where I created another home.  After 2 years the recession set in, my son sold his home and left for Thailand.
I put this one on the market to once again (the third time returning to my country land and built
my cottage at the edge of the woods. This home because of beginning of recession I lost quite a bit.  Now 9 years later and a cane in hand I vow never to leave this land again....
and plan for my ashes to be spread on my garden - when the time arrives.  So whoever resides
here will have me for company :)

A birthday on Monday, girls will arrive and I took a roast out of freezer and have fresh vegetables.
Do not want a meal in a restaurant :)

Today spotted a small Lemon cake, I love Lemon and will enjoy today.   In a minute
think just toasted cheese sandwich with mixed greens and tomato plants that provide the tiny
tomato's are loaded, nothing else lived :)

Miss family, across the ocean and in other states.  Beautiful cards arrived and know I am loved.
Just their precense means so much
but it will happen at the right time.

Rain expected to arrive today and for next 3 days.
Halleluja....

Beautiful but Dry Week - Maybe this weekend Rain

Wishing for rain, do not want to lose any of my favorite flowers I have kept in my downscaled garden,

Found the picture of my granddaughter that is expecting
what a beautiful baby

and another memory picture
this child would sit in my lap as I cut grass on the tractor, she would always fall asleep

so many wonderful past memories.

I found out what is happening to lower legs -Stasis Dermatitis.  A part of my immune disorder,
inflammation.   So I elevate some, keep lotions applied.  I do not have varicose veins, heart problem
of on blood thinner.  Doctor requesting I go see another doctor (Surgeon) how scary to see if blood
flow is normal

I read a lot and do a lot of research and guess I have my own ideas and not the Ideal Patient.  I smile at the one who said this about me - he is right on target :) Bless him and wish I could adopt him
so helpful he is to me....
I am not taking pain pills suggested as I cannot think clear with them.  Would rather have pain and
be able to think.

I have not come to a conclusion about health issues going on.   Told that surgery not an option for
knee that is wearing out just keep taking cortisone.

Made Chile on Monday, for 2 days good - I put carrots, celery, onions and from chef granddaughter
now corn.   Just put remainder in 3 cartons in freezer.  This along with usual ground beef, tomato's
chili powder and anything else I think would be good in this :)   It Was Good....

Day has gone by so quickly and nothing planned for 2nd meal.   Think I will scramble an egg
add mushrooms and mixed greens, do have some turkey sausage.   This will do.

Fall Break next week and hoping to see my Jamie and girls and maybe my Beth who hopefully
feels better...

My writer daughter shared on Instagram

"Love is the most durable Power in the world'

Martin Luther King......

she is so right
this special child of mine
but then
they are all special to me....

Monday 6:00 AM

At 6 it is still dark, days are getting shorter and at this time seems it is my computer time
even though I vow to do chores, yoga, breakfast and then computer.
Old habits difficult to change for me - I do try....

Bush hog man arrived yesterday to cut in woods, looks nice but now need someone to pick up
a load of limbs (I use to do it)    He unloaded rest of pumpkins

When daughter and young granddaughter's arrive soon they might want some of them

Television on, just turned off, so much violence everywhere :(

I am concerned about purple color on my ankle, keep bumping, doctor does not seemed concerned
aware my skin in thin, on medication that does this, but do not like it, so careful and continually
bumping myself with balance issue

the one who for years wore trendy shoes on her 7 narrow foot has advanced to super support shoes
look like concrete blocks - it's alright keeps this 106 lbs walking.  Kept telling children about it
and took an image  Their reply "oh mama looks bad - now darker then image shows.  Always small bruises but nothing this big.   Did bump severely 4 months ago.

Daylight beginning, time for yoga and breakfast, think a scrambled egg with spinach and cheese,
side of yogurt and banana - all small amounts.

"I am trying to be content in each and every situation.  I can do all through Christ who
strengthens me"   written  in one of my old journals years ago ---  in Phillipians 4:11 - trying once again at this time....
and know I can do it if I keep trying.....yes, successful in the past but now different - seems with aging everything is more difficult...