Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Monday, June 17, 2013

Trying To Heal

A number of my special friends have inquired about me
since I write almost daily.
I think when we share our life often as we write
from our hearts
that those who have never met us
may know us very well.

I have Inflammatory Colitis
surfaces several times a year
treated with strong prednisone.
Which I do not like to take but seems to
be the only thing that helps me.
This began about 5 years ago.

I tried treating myself for weeks
hoping that what I was experiencing would go away naturally
and guess was not doing to good and
had to call 9ll on Saturday morning at 5:00.
I crashed...

Also have a kidney and bladder infection
along with autoimmune issues.

Depleted and put on Iv plus a strong anti-biotic
I will share about in the future and do not like
750 milligrams of this.

I truly do not like sharing this
and it angers me as this One Woman
does everything she things correct.

I do not like medication.
Going to doctors and hospitals
this unsettles me greatly.

So I am healing and trying to rest
and it is difficult for me to sit still.
Eating healthy
every several hours.

I am so thankful this is not cancer, diabetes
heart - but do not like this
and aware that it could escalate.

I will be back
I have gone through this before.
But never this severe.

Want quality life for time that remains for me.
If come to mind
please pray for me to have wisdom of how to handle this
and healing.

I feel having this going on and not being able to handle myself
makes me a weak  person
and I have always been strong
and have to handled much in my life.

You are all so special to me
Just family and everyone is so far away.

Yesterday had to ask a neighbor to pick up some
items from grocery and she brought me a meal from a local eating place.
I hated so to call and ask...

All of you know me well and many have sensed something going on.
Do not like sharing this
with you.


Sharon said...

My dear Ernestine, there is strength in knowing when to ask for help. You have been happily busy the last several weeks - I enjoy reading every post and often feel like I have accomplished little in light of all you do:) Now it's time to take a break and take care of yourself. I can tell you as a person who is helping a friend without a car right now that people are glad to help and feel honored to be asked. You are in my thoughts and prayers during this time of healing ~

Lynn said...

May you soon be back to your old self, Ernestine. In the meantime surround yourself with good music and good books . . . you deserve to be pampered, no doubt your neighbor was more than happy to lend a hand.

Elsa Louise said...

Love to you. Praying for you. Feel better soon.

Hill Top Post said...

Stopping by to say Hello...hope you are feeling better soon!

Balisha said...

I just felt that something was wrong. I know how hard it is to ask for help, but Sharon said it so well. People always ask how they can help and sometimes just don't know what to do. I know how frustrating it must be to one so active and enjoying everything outdoors, but maybe now is the time to rest and let yourself heal.
Take care and know that we are thinking about you and keeping you in our prayers.
Balisha xoxo

Pienosole said...

Yes, it's your turn to be taken care of, even if it is hard... May you heal peacefully surrounded by love.

MsGraysea said...

Dear, dear Ernestine,
I am so sorry to read this news about the struggle you find yourself in. I sensed something was happening for awhile. You do your very best, and it is so frustrating to have things get out of hand. You did the right thing, and I hold you close in my prayers and meditation that you will soon be enjoying your special place and all the beauty with which you are surrounded. I am sure your neighbor was only too happy to help. I'd be there in a second if I were closer
Healing and ease to you dear friend.

lil red hen said...

HUGS !! So sorry you're feeling under the weather; hope you'll soon be on the mend.

Wisewebwoman said...

I am so so sorry to hear this Ernestine I was concerned when I didn't see you update.

What a bloody nuisance it all is for you, infection on top of infection.

Rage against it. And when you are done, accept it and heal. Heal. that's an order.

Be strong, know that you are loved so much out here in Blogland.


Judy said...

Darn it!! I know that the Prednisone helps, but I also know that you have reactions to it too. I hate to ask for help too, but sometimes, when we are truly weak--we just have to ask! So frustrating for independent women. Please take care, rest--prayers for you.

Sky said...

so sorry to read this. :( figuring out how to take care of business is the SMART thing to do, and in this case taking care of business is getting proper nutrients into the body and resting. good for you! we all make choices; you chose to live in the country, away from the city, for all the reasons you share so generously with us. families cannot always be around for us, so making alternate plans for support is so wise. i am very glad you have good neighbors and friends who are part of that plan. i know you are, too. i am sorry you are having such a hard time with your health this past year. i sure understand the stress and discomfort this causes. and, as you know, stress is a contributor to IBS. i hope as this resolves you really consider letting go of some of your need to have everything done within self- imposed timeframes and begin to move more slowly through life, taking rest, reading books, cooking, and lounging around. the hectic pace you describe most of the time is not working. i am afraid if you don't make these changes your health will continue to suffer.

i have read the fish oils, omega fatty acids, have brought some positive results for some with colitis, but i would never add anything without checking with my doc first. my aunt takes prescription colazal for colitis, and has no side effects, but hers is ulcerative colitis and each of us is different. i am sending many good wishes for your healing and for your rest; wishes for you to be kinder to yourself internally - learning to relax, be at peace, and rest more often. your body is telling you what it needs, and i hope you will listen to it. sending much love to you, now and always.

Nancy said...

I am so sorry that you are going through a tough time. I check your postings nearly everyday, and find a connection to you; your outlook on life and appreciation for nature. Prayers are being sent your way.

Marcie said...

Ernestine, I am sending love and good energy and lots of healing thoughts.

Marge said...

Hi Ernestine. You're in my thoughts & prayers for a speedy & complete recovery. Hugz!

nancy at good food matters said...

Hi Ernestine,
I am so sorry to learn about this. It was brave of you to share--and you are right--your blog friends you've never met in person are your friends nonetheless. Mainstream medicine can be very unsettling, but sometimes that's the path you must take. I know that you will heal. Rest and know that you have many people sending all best thoughts your way.

Beverly said...

I thought this might be happening. When you did not answer my email right away, I was worried.... Of all the people I know, you are so strong. I am amazed what all you still do. Being a nurse, I pray you will listen to your body. It is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you need to pamper "you" as much as your pamper and love on your garden and nature..... Just because you slow some, does not mean you are stopping.....when you feel better, it will be full speed ahead!!!

Sallysmom said...

I hope you get well soon. I really miss your posts.

Lonely Rivers said...

I think of you everyday, my friend in the woods. Prayers for your health and wll being, for peace of mind and loving support.

Friko said...

Dear silly Woman, of course you must share this with this community. Combined prayers and healing thoughts can make a difference.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Oh my
the comments
overwhelm me :)
I am at the library checking
on my writing and emails.
Seems my computer has come down
with a horrible virus.
So - off line in my home
for a while.
thank you so much
and if I could reach out and
hug you I would.
How lucky I am to have so many
friends I have not met...+.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Oh my
the comments
overwhelm me :)
I am at the library checking
on my writing and emails.
Seems my computer has come down
with a horrible virus.
So - off line in my home
for a while.
thank you so much
and if I could reach out and
hug you I would.
How lucky I am to have so many
friends I have not met...+.

Nan said...

So very sorry to hear this. Try to let the anger go. It can sap your energy. Try to stay peaceful. You are not a weak person. It is good to ask for help. One of my yoga dvds says, we must 'accept the great gift' - of kindness, help, love. This may be your time to receive help. And then you'll be stronger again.

mermaid said...

What if you knew none of the illness was your fault, that you are doing the best that you can? Could you love your body, the temple you call home?