She is on the way to the city. Taking the winding back roads in the misty rain. It has rained daily for weeks and her country home looks like it is sitting at the edge of a rain forest. There is so much mud and she hopes that soon the rain will end. Her peaceful drive is interrupted as a light appears on the dash of her car. Tension, whenever something arises that she is not knowledgeable about. Also she is aware that she is on an isolated road.
She repeats positive affirmations on her continued drive to the city. She has postponed a doctors appointment 3 times because of not wanting to "go" and hoping it would go away. She also wanted to have tooth problem out of the way.
The tooth problem turned out to be a breeze. Her first tooth pulled and she experienced no pain.
She was pleased when surgeon made the comment that she had made the correct decision on pulling instead of root canal, as it was cracked all the way through.
The doctor's appointment is for blood work. She knows it is "Arthur" but wonders why it is extremely painful at night and she is having severe cramps in the calf of her leg. She thinks it might be a deficiency in her diet. Anyway she is on the way for that appointment. She does not like going to the doctor. Has thoughts of maybe never going again.
She stopped at the car shop not far from her city home for computer to be connected to car. She is told the car will not "stop", but come back after doctor's appointment.
The desire of her heart was to continue from doctor appointment to the country.
So much is being accomplished in the country. A young helper who is strong and willing but she has to work with him - is helping her clear the "forest" behind her cottage. Just clearing about 30 feet back of home so the tree's can stretch their arms and breath. She smiles as she views the 5 large piles of brush that will be burned at the right time. They have made progress.
Much of the work her helper is doing was work she would do - a few years ago - but she can no longer do it.
She is beginning to see the many types of birds flying from tree to tree.
She continues to live in two worlds. She has thoughts she cannot put into words. The words will come.
She is so aware that it has only been weeks that she started spending nights in the country, the home was created in 6 months and so very much has been accomplished. The few visitors comment that they cannot believe the difference in her surrounding area. She has a fault - always in a hurry. But then she is very aware that she is traveling her last years.
She read once that however high is your high will be your low. She wonders "why make this comment" when she is in many ways happier and more at peace then ever in her lifetime.
It seems such a contradiction.
So One Woman has been flying high and guess she is leveling out.
Thank you dear friends for continuing to check on me.
Soon I will have my computer in the country and can begin to post images once again.
One Woman entry as she continues on her Journey Through These Last Years