This entry was written last Monday when I returned from the country. Yesterday was spent in doctor's office. I was put on a heart monitor that will be returned this afternoon. Those who follow me on my journey - I know the thoughts that are going through your mind. Yes, I push myself to the limit but truly try and pace myself. I am physically fine but emotionally this is beginning to get to me. Nothing could be going any better and I am so thankful. When One Woman makes every decision and has a big family where each member has issues at this time - well it is like I am super sensitive at this time and I am having anxiety attacks. Hopefully that is what is going on. I do not believe in medication so I will pull back.I will handle more by phone instead of driving up and down the road 100 miles a day. I will continue to take more time to rest. I will continue my constant prayer for wisdom concerning every matter. I will not try to make this piece of wilderness look like my city garden in a matter of weeks. It may take a year. I pray the Lord will allow me to spend some years at my country home and will bring a buyer for this home soon. But whatever he does for me is really fine with me. I will try and lower the standards I set for myself. I have lived a full life and forgiven much in my lifetime but will stop expecting something from others that they are just not capable of giving and just accept them as they are. There are no surprises concerning what is going on - guess it is just I am older and I seem to be driven with a passion to this land. So no scolding just warm thoughts sent from your heart to mine. My life has gone through my mind like a film over the last several days. I still have a bucket list. Just a few simple things but life is not like it use to be. Everyone is so busy. It seems in my family there is no time just for simple pleasures.
I was not going to share my condition at the moment but how can I not when you are traveling a part of my life journey with me. I promise I will not just disappear. Thought of that yesterday.
You who correspond with me have become friends. You listen, you encourage and by writing to me - the most important thing is you spend time with me.
Written on Monday
What a difference 4 or 5 days make. Last week there were hardly any green leaves in my wood's. Today the woods look magical.
I will share a few pictures.
Also took an image of my small nursery in the woods. I have been taking cuttings from my city garden of plants that have memories.
Entry from One Woman
21 comments:
Woodhaven woods are looking very inviting! I can understand your impatience to be there! As we age, the urgency to accomplish things does become a driving force, and it gets frustrating when our bodies don't cooperate and allow us the energy had in years past.
Anyway, in what you wrote, you have a great plan to ease things along at a slower pace. I wish you peace of spirit and comfort...you write it all so beautifully.
Marcia, thank you for your kind note and understanding.
Thanks for sharing about the heart monitor.
I had to wear one at which time my heart valve problem was diagnosed.
So please share with us as you find out more.
And don't disappear nor lose your enthusiasm. That does though sound like a lot of driving.
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
Reading your text I remember my favourite book, The Blue Castle, by Montgomery, the author of the Anne of Green Gables series. Not that your family is anything like her family, but just the idea of reaching a point in your life where you are drawn to nature and a special place of your own.
Do take dear care of yourself.
Your reflections make me grateful for another spirit in this world who contemplates and lives from that contemplation. It is easy to be busy and just not look.
Whatever your heart rhythm is being monitored for, may it be still and soothed by your faith.
Mim, Lilalia and Mermaid. Thank you for visiting.
lilalia i may just order that book!!! thank you special one
Please don't become overwhelmed with all that is going on in your life.
I am waiting to hear the results of the heart monitoring machine. I hope the problem is just caused by stress. I will send good thoughts your way.
please know I want you to slow your self down, at least for a few days. I being a nurse want to say, now you need to........but you are my friend and are special to me. You have made many good decisions in the past and will continue to do so. Go slower for a while, breathe slower, dream about what it will be like to spend the first night in the woods. It will happen when it is supposed to. And it will be blissful.
Darlene and Beverly - thank you dear friends. Beverly I know what that first night will be like
It will be so dark that you cannot see your hand in front of you and the night sounds will be awesome.
Just want a dog and I cannot have one until I am in the country for good. No one wants to keep one part time and that would not be good for bonding.
you have to chill out...and it sounds like you know it. we are all responsible only for ourselves (and our young children under 18!). no one else can fix our lives or our health. good for you for deciding to slow down and smell the roses. :)
Ernestine,
I'm thinking of you this morning. You have your own built in wisdom, which is so evident in what you wrote about this situation. Those tranquil days at the edge of the woods are just around the bend.
hugs,
Aisling
Sky and Aisling - thank you for the encouraging words this early morning. Know in your heart that you are special to this One Woman.
I'm not going to harass you, Ernestine. I'd be just like you are. :<) There's a minister's blog I visit, and he just had an entry about house buying anxiety, and he's just in his thirties. Buying or building is one of life's thrills, and try as you may it's hard to shut off your mind. My daughter has the fever now. We're waiting for planning board approval for a subdivision, and in the meantime she and her boyfriend are talking to modular home folks, and a contractor, and getting estimates. I told her it is like being in love - it just absorbs your every thought.
I've been gone for one day and sat to catch up on reading and see you are surrounded by loving friends. I am so sorry you are having to add one more concern to your list of 'needs to be seen to'. I know if your friends have anything to say about it, you will be fine and living the quiet country life you so desire. God bless you.
Nan and Cloudhands, thanks for the encouraging comment. Nan, a new thought that was like being in love. Now that I think of it - guess you are right.
You are going through so many changes right now. The task you have taken on is a huge one. Selling a home...keeping it up and then having decisions to make on the new home. I admire your tenacity and energy.Just take time to rest and take care of yourself.Hopefully my friend will be feeling better soon. Hugs..Balisha
Hi Ernestine- just getting caught up on your blog. Your gardens are lovely...you truly have a gift of sharing beauty with the world.
I know it's so hard to slow down after a life of busy, busy, busy, but oh! I'm discovering the joys of stopping to listen. Give your new home a chance to speak to you...let it tell you what it wants.
You are in my prayers...stay well.
Deborah, thank you for checking in.
Have a great day!!!
I am praying for you, Sweetie! You hang in there. God has good things for you. Keep your eyes on Him, always surrendering to Him and embracing His plans for your life. His plans are good because He is good. {{hugs}}
Daffodil Hill - thank you for your encuraging words. God Bless You
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