Afternoon With Mary Oliver

A rainy beginning and then sun and very cool.
Shut all the outdoor vents.
First frost expected in the morning.
Spent some time going through my Mary Oliver books.
They number 12 and each one is special.
They almost look ragged with all the little papers
that mark some of  my favorite poems.

"Another morning and I wake with thirst
for the goodness I do not have.  I walk
out to the pond and all the way God has
given us such beautiful lessons, Oh Lord,
I was never a quick scholar but sulked
and hunched over the books past the
hour and the bell; grant me, in your mercy,
a little more time.  Love for the earth
and love for you are having such a long conversation
in my heart.
Who knows what will finally happen, or where I will
be sent, yet already I have given a great many
things away, expecting to be told to pack nothing,
except the prayers, which, with this thirst,
I am slowly learning"

Thirst ~~~ Mary Oliver~~~

Busy Day

Early morning appointment with my dentist for crown that fell off.
Stopped at a local Krystal, not upscale and you may not have one in your area.
About twice a year I do this.  Two very small cheese burgers, small fry and small drink
onto car and ate driving down the road - not a good habit but wanted to arrive home
as soon as possible.  This site and one in Nashville are the only two I would order from
as they are unusually good with the steamed buns and hot hamburgers right off the grill.
My children remember Krystal's well.  When they were small this was a quick lunch
to pick up at the drive in window.   They liked them during those years and now they
laugh about this and most with their healthy diets now say Ugh.

Headed down highway to local small town to return something ordered.
Payment due for local newspaper - not much in it but the only way to know if there is
something special going on or a death of someone I have known for years.
Stopped at UPS for return and made a quick stop at a small new store on our city square.

This new shop for a Healthy lifestyle offering chair massages (but not today)  scented oils, special vitamin's
and different kinds of flavored Kale chips.  Thought of purchasing but not for $8 for such
a tiny bag.   There will be someone who comes once a week from an Amish community
who offers special Iridology analysis.   This is based on the markings in the irises of the eyes.
I know a young woman who believes strongly in this and has been on a special diet of herbs
they recommended which has healed her of cancer.

In the past I had thoughts of going through this procedure and being analyzed, but not at this time.  I believe I am on the right
track with what I am doing with supplements, research, exercise, diet,  lifestyle and meditation.
Prednisone now down to 2 1/2 mg daily from 60 and going slow as I go off and being realistic
I may have to go on it again in the future.

This has not been a good year health wise for me.   Inflammation has been horrible and then the fall 6 weeks ago.    So thankful at the moment I have some balance issues but that is all and it is
getting better.   Looking forward to a good new year that is beginning. 

Wonderful picture received from  my granddaughter in Paris and day will soon be here when
another granddaughter arrives in Thailand and will be able to visit my son.   A daughter in Kentucky at this time for a
special assignment and a very cool day and it is beginning to feel like Fall.
My middle daughter Beth, is having a difficult time getting over something that keeps her
coughing and congested.  It may just be the time of year and I know when out and about
if I hear someone coughing I run the other way....

This happened over night in my woods

and oh my
can you imagine Versailles

enough shared :)

He Smiled

He smiled and  complimented me
I smiled
made no reply...
Not going there
been there
done that
Was nice for a moment....

"White hairs are not weeds
but signs of wisdom taking root
old stems talking to younger ones
inhabiting the beauty of change"

http://mermaidhealing.blogspot.com//

Thankful for Kaveri
who
always has words that speak to my heart...

It Arrived

I have learned
Sometimes mail from far over the ocean
arrives on time, arrives late or not at all.

My son has apologized that his card never arrived
and he mailed 2 weeks before my birthday.
Today, a week after this date
it arrived.

His special words
are needed.

"Truth comes into being when your mind and heart are purged
of all sense of striving and are no longer trying to become somebody:
it is there when the mind is very quiet, listening timelessly to everything
that it is happening....
~~Krishnamurti~~

"To be calm, peaceful, and mindful
think less.
Increase the space between thought and thought."


Now onto my morning
old truck has been delivered for brakes to be repaired
DVD player is ready to be used
and

Pumpkin bread is cooling
an addition of whole cranberries, raisins, walnuts
along with a dash of black walnut flavoring.
So good....
Pimento cheese made in the little processor
a dash of Tabasco and walnuts were mixed in.
On my special bread will top it with chives, basil
and parsley still filling the outdoor pots until frost arrives.

Going to dig up some of the plants and put in pots to
bring inside and also will put some of every herb in
a vase on the table.  Will see if this last through
the holidays.

A wonderful rest of the day is
wished for all that visit the country cottage.

Through The Eyes Of The Camera

As I downloaded images taken minutes ago
it seems much looks the same.
Yet as I walk and look around
it does not appear this way to me.
Need to remember
the
camera does not lie :)

two loads of creek gravel where road was washing
looks pretty good and will pack down with rains coming in a few days.

began to cut back flowers, trimmed by walk and filled 2 wheel barrows full
working slowly as I begin trying to have my normal lifestyle

trees still very green
and as I look into the woods I realize that I did not walk in them this year,
so very wet and could not ride tractor and most of year not up to it.  
maybe next year :)   I know the paths I made over the last 4 years are filled with limbs :(
and I might add
if I cannot walk in the woods
I will look into them from afar :)

This morning made something different
to my Kefir and addition of yogurt, strawberries, banana,  flax seeds and spinach (diet lacking greens)
and some protein powder - there body - regain your energy.

Last night something I have not made for years
simmered round steak which had been dredged in flour
for hours on low heat, then a addition of mushrooms and made gravy.
Fork tender and remembered making this when children were growing up.
It was good with potatoes and peas.   A lot on this plate and could only eat half of it....

Will add once again
all this information goes to children and grandchildren
but makes me smile that some enjoy reading
of her days
in this lifetime.

At This Moment

She walks in her garden
cane in hand
and takes her foot
to push landscaping boards
to make flower garden a little smaller.
The same thing is done for the small vegetable garden
and next Spring it will be smaller.
It is beyond her imagination to think of a tomato that is  not plucked from her vine,
cucumber picked along with lettuce and squash and it is only for one.

All that is loved with a passion is surveyed
and words this morning made the comment
"when you were planting I wonder how you would take care of it all."
None are aware of her deep pleasure in what she does
and that it was a dream come true
to return to her woods.

With 6 weeks of not taking care of everything her self
even though a little help she told what to do and
that now seems to have disappeared
it is evident it is not up to her standard
as she looks at her surroundings with tears in her eyes.

Seems at this time difficult to find another who would help her dig in the dirt,
maybe stopping for a glass or cup of tea, not talking and just enjoying nature
for a few hours.

Yesterday gravel arrived for road and one delivering looked around and said
"your surroundings are beautiful" also one who came to give a bid for something
to cover old truck - made the same remark....
and old truck you will just have to continue the same like your mistress as not adding cover.

Looked online at retirement options in the big city
and this is not her.    She prayed and all fell in place to return to the land she loved.
Now is the time to accept being surrounded by untamed nature
and as special son has said many times
"lower your standards, rest more and just accept."
It is not easy for this one
and ashamed to admit this truth.
So time will tell what is to be
as all falls in place naturally.....

Family weary of hearing these remarks
but in years to come
they may remember the words
or choose not to remember
and maybe think she has lost it.

At the moment
one in Paris and it sounds Divine

One on a short trip to the mountains with two little ones and finally settled in a nice
dwelling after discovering first choice was covered with mold :(
Another sharing about plans when his niece visits soon and a trip to a Thai beach.
Another one's mind is filled with next years wedding plans
and another is probably out filling her cupboards for next weeks work from home.

This one receives their notes,
smiles, sometimes shakes her head
as their lives and desires are so different
from the matriarch in this family.

Beautiful days,
leaves will soon begin to color,
Callie hardly takes her eyes of this one
and even with  all that has happened lately
she feels she has been showered with blessings.

It Represents Old Comfort

When I moved to the old farm house about 35 years ago
seems I could not stay warm during the long Winter months.

Every room had a big old drafty fireplace and even though I did
much to bring this home  up to date it still seemed drafty to me.

In the addition of a great room with a wood burning stove
seemed this room was the warmest and I still miss that wood fire,

For the first time I bought a goose down comforter.
Oh my it was wonderful and still put it on my bed every Fall.

For many years would just air on the clothesline and once sent out commercially
which I did not like to do.  Once was able to fit in my washing machine and hoped
I would not harm the machine or the comforter.   Last month when my Jamie made a visit I gave it to her to take home and
wash in her big big machine.   It was returned to me yesterday and so wonderfully
clean and when I put it on my bed early this morning realized it is over 30 years old and
still looks like new.

Looks wonderful and on my bed is also a quilt my mother made about 30 or 40 years ago.
Also a wonderful wool Afghan that was purchased from Neiman Marcus in another lifestyle
that is about 40 years old and it was made in Scotland.

So I took an image to share with children and grandchildren
and it represents old comfort to me and also makes the statement that
if it is quality and taken care of it last for many years.

So when it is handed down
hopefully that child or grandchild will care for it in the same way...

Seems like much that is purchased today
is used a while and then discarded.
But you never do this with quality items...