New Year Soon To Begin

Green wheat fields on my country road

Buttercups peeking out of soil

One granddaughter skating in New York's Central Park

Another granddaughter amazes me with her creations on a plate.  I thought this
was a mushroom "no grandma it is a poached egg."

A new year that I need to work on my posture, pace myself, rest more and just "be".
 Hoping for not as many health issues as in 2012.
A deep desire to not be so addicted to computer and to post less on my journal.
Then the thought surfaces that I find so much joy in my writing, downloading images, reading other's thoughts from around the world,  enjoy continually looking up new
information and what would I do without Amazon for items that save a trip to town and supplying
my books - so what would I do without this item that sits on my desk....

Looking in the mirror it seems I many times see my mother and this is strange because as a child and as years continued we were never really alike.

Time you are going by so quickly and when I mentioned to a friend who is older then me that these were the last chapters or pages, she quickly responded "please do not say that."  My thought "realistic I am." 

Share the same thought with another that not much has been left out of my past living experience.
The marriage, children, dances, parties, trips, careers,  relationships, highs, lows, good and bad and they all left something to be desired.
Tonight just me like some years in the past and it is wonderful to never be bored with yourself or desire something else.
It is a gift in these last years.

My Spring vegetable garden will continue with an addition of a few items and by the looks of the economy this is good planning.    Expanding my herb collection and may do more in pots since the soil is so damp here by my cottage.

All in all looking forward to another year in my cottage by the woods and visits from children,
 grandchildren, daily communication on computer and life continues about the same.

A deep sense of Peace covers my heart and soul
at this moment and
this is still a Miracle to me
so what more could one ask for in her personal world.
Might add that much is needed locally and worldwide
but my world seems to be set apart here in the woods.

Wishing all that read my thoughts
A  Healthy, Safe and Peaceful
2013....

My Voice

Yesterday
making an exchange in a local store,
heard my name and turned around.

There she stood
a young woman who did my hair
over 40 years ago.

We shared,
she looks the same
and said I did also.
I asked " how did you know
I was in this store"
 and she replied
I heard your voice.

She was always so good to me
and compliments were always
received on the then 33 year old
young woman who was
expecting her
4th child.

Her young husband worked for
our company for a short time.
Now he so successful.  I read
his name in the local paper often.

On my trip back to the cottage in the woods
I smiled all the way home.
For some reason this seemed like
a special gift to me.

They just keep
coming and
I like it....

They Are Amazing

I need to write
while I am still on a high.
As I winded down the country road
on my way home
I still felt saturated with  the love that was given me
a few hours ago.

A brunch this morning
by one who cares for her bed ridden husband round the clock.
A beautiful country home,
food was superb and every room decorated
like Southern Living Magazine.

 One Woman was treated with so much love
that driving home
 her eyes were filled with tears.

These ladies range from 83 to 92.
The twins and their older sisters
one came in from Jacksonville.
Then a special one who is 92
that  I began reaching out to years
ago in the local grocery store as
her husband was in a nursing home

Hope I make it to these ages
with as much energy, grace and goodness.

To me they are Angels
and to think
I am special to them
and included along with their family.....

 

First Snow In This Simple Life

Snow is falling
20 degrees
Callie at the foot of a tree
and will not return to our shelter
Birds are returning
guess they are hungry.
image taken from my window.....

Wherever you are
May you be Happy, Well, Safe and at Peace in your world....

Merry Christmas 2012

This Christmas Eve morning

My mother's Angel
on a day beginning
 that almost
seems Spring like

Callie's gift
from Michigan
and I think
she likes it..

Prune Cake Memory Just Baked For Christmas Eve

Looking through my first small recipe book.
Dated 54 years ago.
Falling apart and pages yellow.
I must continue to copy these recipes
for my daughter's and grandchildren
so they are not lost.

  At this time putting
all old  and new recipes in plastic sheets in binders.
Seems the easiest for me to.

For years on my to do list
was making a cook book for children,
but in reality there never seemed
to be the time.
Cottage chores, outside work and my life at
this time seems busier then ever
or I have too many interest or am slower.

I shake my head
when I remember several near my age
 sharing
that they were bored or lonely......



Have not made this cake in years
and it comes to mind often reminding
me of
how good it is and so simple.
Remember liking this as well as a Jam Cake....

PRUNE CAKE

3 eggs
2 cups of sugar
1 cup of Wesson oil
2 cups of flour
1 teaspoon of soda
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 teaspoon of nutmeg
1 teaspoon of allspice
1 cup of buttermilk
1 cup of cooked prunes
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1 cup of chopped nuts

Beat eggs and oil together
then add other ingredients

Pour into a well greased tube pan
Bake 300 degree's for an hour (I have a notation that I baked for 1 1/2 hour - May be oven)
I baked for 1 1/2 hour this time also..... 

For festive occasion make confectionery sugar icing (1 box of sugar with 1/4 to 1/2 cup
warm milk, 1/2 tsp vanilla - add little at a time until consistency you like
Drizzle over cake and decorate with candied cherries
 and whole pecans on top.

Just finished cake
had a bite
So good

A Lot Of Old Memories Die A Natural Death

Checking drafts on computer
this one was written 2 years ago
and never posted.

I smile
because
life is good in these
3 score, 10 plus
rapidly going by years.

Just aging and issues that
arise from that.

Nothing is missed from
another lifestyle that when
looked at realistically
never lasted many years....

Just had the thought
if this young woman could
just have been given the gift
of seeing into the future.
Many tears would never have
been shed and she would have
been made aware that
a lot of old memories
do fade away.


This is what I wrote several years ago on this date......


Do old memories ever just die or totally fade away?

Looking through boxes of old photographs. Some make her smile and some sad.

This particular one brought tears to her eyes.
She is the age of her youngest daughter at this time.

She had left the big house, country clubs, big cars in the drive, private schools and struck out on her own with one little one.

The other children were making their own way.
One on her own in Michigan, two in college and one in high school.

Here she stands at the side of the old farm home with her little one. A new way of life is beginning. Now looking back, the years testify that it has been good. The path has been up and down and never level. She learned and then she fell down again. But she always dusted herself off and continued on.

It dawns on her now that she is back where she started years ago. She lives on this same property and now looks out over the old farm home. Now she is not sad and young, now she is old and at peace.

Looking at the picture again, she wants to wrap her arms around the young woman and tell her that everything will be alright and she will smile again. She will tell her there will be good memories and some that will be sad but she will continue to grow and learn and it will not be easy. But she will survive.

Just seems like it took a long time!!   But then she has lived most of her lifetime.

Have You Ever

Have you ever gotten  rid of something
that you wished you had not?

A lifestyle change for One Woman.
The cupboards were filled with items
from different lifestyles.
 Each child going their way,
 old farmhouse sold
and a huge yard sale is planned. 

Way too much stuff for one who is seeking
a simpler lifestyle.

Have never missed anything that sold
except a little container that could be used
for keeping items warm and as an ice bucket.

It sat on the table for over 20 years.
Held biscuits, corn bread and kept rolls warm.
Sometimes used for ice.
All of children remembered it well...

Sitting on a  big table at the yard sale and was gone in an instant.

I remember many times looking for this container in my cabinet
 and then
realizing it had been among yard sale items.
Mentioned this many times to my children and have never
seen one similar.

Well - I just received from a special daughter in Michigan
one of these warmers for Christmas.  She found it in
an antique mall.

As the box was opened ....
I smiled
there it was, an item so simple but missed.

 It is placed on the big table where I have meals.
I will not part with you again
and my heart says
"Welcome Home"...

Heavenly Scent

Errands in the local town this morning.
Thundering at the moment as rain comes in.

I saw them and the scent - always pleases me.
Usually wait until after Christmas and find
a pot on sale.

Looking at them the clerk stepped up
and I commented how I liked them
but too expensive.

She said "if you would like them I will mark them half price."

I replied "you will do this?"

So they were purchased
and I put them in my bedroom on my desk.

Narcissus Paper Whites
they smell heavenly...

A Christmas present
to myself.....

Baking a cake soon
and not planning on leaving the woods
until next week.

My idea of Heaven...

25 Cents

He scooped them into a tiny sack
and said "is that all you want?"
Yes, just a few seeds to sprinkle
among the greens.

Liking only 1 or 2 sliced among a handful of greens
for one.

They have been producing for weeks
and this December morning my supply
is more then I can use....

On next trip to town will take them to someone who
likes Turnips....

High, Low and Pear Cake

Yesterday morning as day was breaking at 6:30 am
a special friend came by on the way to work
and brought me a cutting of pineapple sage,
put in water in the window and will see if it roots.
I am not familiar with this herb and from
doing research - it needs to be in my garden.
Also a bar of Goats Milk Oatmeal soap and
an orange that I used the zest for my Pear Cake.

Baked a cake,
writing, breakfast, tidy cottage,  washing, clean garage,
clippers in hand I work in garden and
then inside for lunch of egg salad sandwich
and soup.

At lunch  - I crash
Prednisone medication with breakfast
and that may be why
or just going nonstop and age
means this is normal.

Then I realize 4 to 12
is 8 hours.

Have not felt like baking in a while
and must have something sweet in this cottage.

Browsing through a favorite
http://mennonitegirlscancook.ca      December 7th recipe

I found a small pear cake recipe.
Not many recipes out there for a 8 x 8 pan cake
and that is just my size,
 all the ingredients were on hand.
Might add it called for 2 cups of chopped pears
and my can of pears  was small and yielded 1 cup.
But cake is still very  good and moist with this change.
In the future will try with fresh pears....

So simple with a brown butter icing.

So good and ate a piece with my breakfast..

One December Morning

The sunshine looks so good on this cold day.

Another year of being invited to a morning brunch.
A business with huge silos, they buy grain in this area from farmers
and ship all over the world.  At this time in history
I would say a very profitable business.

Do not like to venture out often but made myself go
for this friend.  Tasted nothing but enjoyed the punch made
with eggnog, peppermint ice cream and a little seltzer water.
Going to reproduce and not add the water.  Since I struggle
with weight this may add a pound to this slight frame.

Always a gift as we leave and thought the container was
cheerful.  Looks like a large candy cane and filled with cookies
 each individually wrapped in bright red and green foil.

Returning home the mailman came down the long gravel drive with a number of
small packages.  A book daughter from Florida  recommended and was
able to buy used at a fraction of original price and looks new
"Rules of Civility" by Amor Towles.
Something to add to the growing stack of books for a snowy day.

A can of spray you dust with and I wonder do I chance using on computer,
clocks and a few other items.  Still trying to decide to keep or return.

Inexpensive 8 x 10 tarpaulin to place on windows of
truck on these frosty mornings and when or if snow arrives.

An envelope with gift of small Tibetan prayer flags enclosed.  They always
bring about a sense of Peace when I view them and I thought where do I put them?
Since they were paper I placed them on the lamp on computer work area.
They are a constant reminder to me of my son in that far away land.

 Christmas cards received  from many you
do not hear from often.
I was going to send very few this year - but found myself addressing
many to just keep in touch.

Another daughter called and shared my son sent a gift for me to her home and she
will deliver Christmas Day.   I guess he knows I would open immediately :)

The ink in my printer needs to be replaced.  I cannot figure out how to replace and
this causes anxiety. Always independent and no one near to ask.  I replaced  in the past
but cannot figure it out at the moment.  Need to let it be....
  So much about the computer that I do not know and will wait
until family arrives Christmas Eve for them to help me.

Phone was ringing
could not find it
there it is
in my pocket.
Dropped a pair of glasses
and just stepped on them.

A caller shared about someone my age being lonely.
Cannot understand this
My to do list is long and I will never catch up.
To busy and to many interests to be lonely.

Day
continued
and could hear my son's voice
saying "pace yourself"

So Many Words

When I had the desire to write
 the thought surfaced,
what will I write about?

Glancing at old entries
totaling over a 1000
it seems
I have not been at a loss for words.

So many who began my journey with me
are still commenting.
I marvel that these super intelligent, talented
and worldly
women take the time to read my simple sharing
and then forward on a comment.

How special my online friends are to me
Seems you are the ones I begin each day
with and in reality most of my sharing is with you.
Many times
what you take the time to type and forward on to me
is just what I need to
encourage me onward that day.

 Wish we could all gather together.
We could dine simply and enjoy nature
or just tea and homemade sweets.

Maybe it is good that we cannot
as I would smile, hug you and know
my eyes would fill with tears.
I believe a meeting would make me
very emotional.

I have always been of the mindset
that those that write,
share from the heart,
you may know them better then
acquaintances you see in person and have known for years.
In reality
you can know someone for years
and really not know them.

The day's are so short at this time
but just think
in a couple of weeks
little by little the days are longer.

It seems that when January arrives
I begin to dream of Spring.

A new day is beginning
with sun and some warmth predicted
here by the woods.

May it be a special day for each of us...

My Local Herbal Soap

For over 30 years have watched her.
Remember her singing in the choir
of the then small local church
Long dark hair almost to her waist.
Always a smile upon her face.

She came to my small town a young mother
with a beautiful daughter.

Married one  of our favorite local farmers
Mr Will Ed
Over the years
 an addition of 2 sons and one more daughter arrived
and now a new granddaughter.

Works at our local newspaper office
a busy young woman
who reaches out to me
with love when she delivered her herbal soap
and  makes me smile at the memory
of something this One Woman
dreamed of doing 30 years ago....

http://lanasherbalsoaps.com/

Time To Just Be

A balmy day on Sunday
showers on and off.
Peaceful

Birds are returning
Garden and woods look stripped and at Peace

Inside cottage
small touches of holiday colors
even in the pantry
and a small rug in front of the sink
Just enough for one matriarch

Neighbor delivered handmade
herbal soap she makes.  It smells wonderful.
This is something I wanted to do years ago.
Make soap.

Her visit brought back such past memories.
They surfaced all through the night
and made me smile....

Of my chickens and fresh eggs.
Orchard that provided jams and jellies.
Large garden
Collection of geese, ducks, peacocks and
an incubator that I hovered over like a mother
to see eggs hatch.
Baby calves that were bottle fed.
My youngest barefoot and wearing a sun bonnet

It was a time of healing 30 years ago.
I truly thought I could not make it
A time that was the end of much I had known
and now I received the blessing of a new beginning.

Ever thankful that
To this world I came
from a totally different world.

A favorite
Enya's "And Winter Came"
played softly
most of the day

All is well........

 

 

A Child's Love

Pictures arrived
that brought back
wonderful memories.

Whenever she would visit
from miles away
this child showered me with love.

Always seeking me out and sitting by me.
beautiful smile always on her face
Still this day it remains.
I do not believe I have ever seen her
without a smile on her face.

A note would often be found
on my bedroom dresser
after she had left for home
sometimes with a heart drawn
on a small piece of paper
"I love you
Aunt Ern"

Her daughter,
my great niece
was married several weeks
ago in Michigan

How I wish
I could have been there.
My younger sister passed
away 4 years ago and
how she would have enjoyed
this wedding of her granddaughter.

 

 

 

 

An Observation

Just before dark
on an almost Spring like
December evening.

 I cut back some plants
in my garden that is resting.

and think of this poem....

True gardeners cannot bare a glove
between the sure touch and the tender root
must let their hands grow knotted as they move
with a rough sensitivity about
under the earth, between the rock and shoot
never to bruise or wound the hidden fruit.
And so I watched my mother's hands grow scarred
She who could heal the wounded plant or friend
With the same vulnerable yet rigorous love
I minded once to see her beauty gnarled
But now her truth is given me to live
As I learn for myself we must be hard
To move among the tender with an open hand
And to stay sensitive up to the end
Pay with some toughness for a gentle world

~~~May Sarton~~~

I read this poem
thought of my hands
I cannot bear gloves
and the splinters, thorns of the past
and scars
prove it.
Resting from gardening my hands have time to heal.
Hands and nails that were accustomed to compliments
in years past.
At this time of my life
they surely look gnarled
and I might add
ancient....

You Took Your Time

I spotted you in a special shop in Jamaica,
Probably 40 years ago.

I have held you in my lap while moving
from home to home.

You always started chiming when I would
place you in your new home.

A different story when arriving at this cottage.
You have hung on the wall for over 2 years
and would not tick.

The special people who work on clocks are
difficult to find at this time.  Guess it is not
a profession that young people would have
an interest in.

In years past my stepfather would service
my old clocks and he passed away 10 years ago.

I can remember my grandmother would take a feather
to dust her clocks and would dip the end in oil to help it run.

Yesterday
You started ticking and chiming and still going strong.
Smiling I urge you on...

You have had a long rest and please keep up
what you have started.

Next time I visit the woods
I think I will gather some turkey feathers.

to try something my grandmother did.

Nice To Be Mentioned

The local paper arrives weekly
and makes me aware of some that is going
on and recent deaths.  Living a simpler lifestyle
need this paper or there is much going on
that I would not be aware of.

Holiday tour of some special homes
will take place this weekend.

Memories surface and I found myself smiling.
After leaving the old farm house 12 years ago
one of the homes I built is in the historical district
of this town.  It is a part of the tour.   The paper mentioned that I designed the home
and how well it fit in with this section of older homes.

One of my goals was to make this home look like it was not new.

This home and creating a garden in the small back yard brought a lot of  pleasure.

Seemed I still possessed a lot of creative energy at that time and kept having thoughts
of moving on to the big city where it would be closer to some of my children.
and youngest grandchildren.
Always of the mindset that if it is meant to be it would all fall in place.
Put this home on the market as an experiment and it
 sold in a few weeks. A lot was found in
the big city that everyone said could not be bought.

Onward with that home, enjoyed time in the big city but my heart
was not at Peace.
Missed the country immensely so this home was put  on the market
and it took longer to sell then any home I had created.
A recession progressing and there was a sizable loss.

Now back home where I began a solo life over 30 years ago.
Thankful this property was kept, seemed in my heart I could
not let it go even though I sought other lifestyles.
Hopefully this is where I can spend
the rest of my days  and beyond....

Another story for my grandchildren....

You Said It

Yes, Wise Web Woman
you said it.

I have thought it

now I am repeating your words.

~~~I must stay drunk on writing
so that reality does not destroy me ~~~

http://wisewebwoman.blogspot.co.uk

Thank you for allowing me :)

At the moment I do believe
I write more then my daughter
who is a writer and editor....

Yes
at this time
writing
 is
a helpful part of her mama's
survival tactic...

Health problems
please
go away....

December 1st

A sunny and 60 degree 11:00 AM

Good time to do some hand wash...

Soup on the deck,
cheese, crackers and tea
for lunch
Miss the Basil because of frost.
Will add
chives, cilantro, parsley
and finish with some
coconut cake.

One in California,
Others taking part in Christmas parade.
One in the nearby big city
Two in New York
One in Washington
One visiting a new baby
in Vietnam.
Baby shower going on in Michigan..

The thought continually
comes to mind
"a busy family"

Some keep in constant touch
Others linger behind

Some read what she writes
Others do not have the time

I say "follow your heart"
because this one
has been there
and done that

Happiest
right where I am
tending the woods....