Thursday, April 16, 2015

Reflections and Death

I like to use the Togo bells that belong to my son,
the sound seems to still and calm me before I begin to eat.

Now I am using a music bowl that he brought to me
saying "the sound last longer and you might like this bowl."
I do like it....

A night of storms, still raining
much prayer, many tears, reflection and thoughts of past family times.

My younger sister passed away about 6 years ago
and my younger brother passed away 2 days ago.

Grandparents, parents and sister nnd brother
no longer here
I stand alone
for my children
as the oldest in our family.
Miss so many special friends
in my past.

I search for words to share
and seem to find none
until I open several of my books

"Stillness blankets me
cushions me against my own
sharp edges
wraps me in her protective shawl
keeps my tender heart
from ripping
on the thorns
of the world"          Judith Prest


May I live this day

Compassionate of heart,
Clear in word,
Gracious in awareness,
Courageous in thought,
Generous in Love                    John O'Donohue

21 comments:

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

((((Dear Ernestine))))

You are in my prayers.

FlowerLady

Wisewebwoman said...

So very sorry to hear of your brother's recent death. Deepest sympathy.

I was thinking of my Buddhist bowl this morning, wondering where it had disappeared to when I moved here.

In sync. As always :)

XO
WWW

My Grama's Soul said...

We are never prepared for the loss of a loved one.....I'm so sorry for yours.

Jo

Valerie said...

the loss of a sibling has it's own special grief.

I love the John O'Donahue poem...thank you.

May peace be with you.

Barb said...

Hugs to you from CO - may your memories of past happiness help lighten your grief.

Aisling said...

Sending love and good energy. So sorry to hear of your brother's passing.

Found In Folsom said...

Many prayers your way and much strength to you...each time I read your posts, I feel how short life is and how valuable the time is..

Sandra said...

Sending special thoughts your way on the loss of your brother. May your fond memories of him help you continue despite your present sadness.

Pienosole said...

My sincere sympathy to you on your loss. You've found some beautiful, comforting words in the lines of poetry you've shared. Wishing you comfort, peace and some joy in your memories during this grieving time.

Rebecca said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I "see" & "hear" you digging deep for strength to bear the sadness while at the same time supporting your children.

Tabor said...

Yes, it is now a precious and quiet and uneasy time. But you are using all the right tools, words and sounds, to keep it calm.

Val said...

I'm so sorry for your recent loss. My grandmother was the last left of her nine brothers and sisters, and I wonder now how strange and sad that must have been for her. So many people love you, though, and are keeping you in their thoughts and prayers. I hope that brings you peace. ♥

lil red hen said...

(((Hugs)))

Judi said...

Sorry for your loss. I remember my in-laws as youngest of both their large families and how hard it was to be the only one left.

sandra hagan said...

Prayers for you sweet Ernestine.

There are difficult times. You seem to have found your place to stand.

You have my most sincere sympathy.

Sallysmom said...

Ernestine, I am so very sorry to hear this. My youngest sister died at the age of 19 in 1980. Losing those who grew up with you is very hard. I will be thinking about you.

Judy said...

Oh Ernestine--I am so sorry!!!

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Thanks to everyone for visiting.
Difficult to share
because there was no closeness.
Seems my life was different and we never bonded.
It was what it was
but made me so sad.
So pleased my son was abe to take
me to see his family..
In my heart I wanted it to be
different but he did reach out
in his last days.

Beverly said...

I am so sorry Ernestine. Pray for peace and healing for you...

Sky said...

The lack of intimate closeness does not change the familial connection of sharing parents, siblings, and some parts of our youth by virtue of that. For that loss, we often feel sadness even when we don't feel so personally connected by ongoing connection. It is interesting to me that one loss can also lead us down a path of remembering others who are also gone, and we can find ourselves actively mourning them. I am glad you have a loving and supportive family close by, so happy you have had time once again with your son, and thrilled that the warm weather will bring us all so many gifts of beauty (along with chores to keep us grounded and busy!). Sending you many good wishes - heart to heart.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Sky and Beverly, your words
always special to me.
Thank you....