Friday, December 30, 2011

This Year Is Coming To A Close

 This post was written one year ago at this time.   Guess my sentiments and words are the same
Except for the fact holiday time was spent recovering from some kind of virus.   Also 3 days ago a wisdom
tooth was pulled.   I was nervous but it turned out no different then any other tooth that was
pulled.  A sunny and unseasonably warm day and looking forward to energy returning.
In years past my little girls would spend New Years Eve with me.     The youngest has a bad cold so
 mom and dad will be home with them this year.


December 20l0.....
For all who read and sometimes comment on my journal - thank you.

No words can express what it means to this One Woman. You encourage her with your comments. She would start naming names but do not want to leave out anyone. You have become special friends. Writing, camera and computer have become an important link to the world outside of her woods.

A busy year with move to the country, garden, camera, a home sold and adjusting to the beginning of a lifestyle she use to live.

As a journey is shared - for pleasure and family, it may just give some an idea of One Woman's journey through this continuing process of aging. She is well aware that her path is totally different from that of her mother and grandmother's. Yet one trait is evident- they were strong women and she is sometimes referred to the same way.

New Years Eve and day will be spent with two youngest granddaughter's.

In the New Year that is about to begin ...

May you be Happy
May you be Well
May you be Safe
May you be at Peace

Today notice five recurring thoughts that take you away from your life as it is.
Write them down. When you have a chance, burn the paper lovingly, and let those thoughts drift away with the smoke ~~A Year Of Living Your Yoga~~

Judith Hanson Lasater

Monday, December 26, 2011

Special Morning Gift

A special visitor for my son in Bangkok,Thailand.
The young woman who owns and teaches at her
yoga studio in Nashville - is visiting with her family.
Aretha, thank you for the image I found on
my computer early this morning.
Also, that he is happy, well and an excellent teacher...
Wish I was there.....

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

April 2008 - A New Beginning

April in 2008 was the first entry into my journal world.   Had only acquired a computer 2 years before that.
Really did not want one and now I wonder "what would I do without this special friend."  It has brought me so much joy, challenge, a learning experience,  but also some frustrations as I continue to learn.  I realize  I know so little  about this wonderful machine.

I wondered if I would have anything to post.   Looks like with over 800 entries there was no lack for words.
I began writing when I moved from the country to the city.  I shared about this experience and really planned on spending the rest of my days there.  I tried to adjust but my heart was not in it.   I  consider it a gift that I was allowed to return to my heart's home.  My cottage is perfect for One Woman and occasional
visitors.

 Hopefully this is where
 I will always reside  and someday my ashes will be spread throughout the woods.  Can't think of a more wonderful place to be.

My grandchildren and even children know a little bit more about their mother and grandmother by reading her rambling words.    When we write I believe we share from the heart and use different words then we would use if we were talking face to face.   That is the way it is with me.   I read what I write and sometimes think "did I write that?" 

So many special online friends from many states and other countries - they found me and I found them online and we have shared and responded to one another.

I look back and many who responded almost 4 years ago are still sending me comments.

I wonder sometimes if we met in person would we be as drawn to one another as we are through
our writing?

New goal to not write as much,  I think I have shared most about this One Woman.   Will continue looking for special images to photograph and will be sharing about my gardening   A special poem or book will come to mind.   Maybe there will still be much to share.    I know as I grow older just do not want to begin
repeating myself and for you to witness some of what happens in the aging process.  Then I have the thought that you would see how One Woman continues on through this journey in life.

Christmas Eve, family will be visiting.  Then following week dental work, then appointment with a specialist
that I have been avoiding.   Really do not think I will learn anything different but  have been urged to do this and I will see who is right on this subject.  Surgery is scheduled for 3rd week of January.  Who knows, maybe a miracle and I can postpone.... 

Wishing everyone blessings
during this special Season
The blessings you desire and need.
From my heart I thank you for your friendship

Monday, December 19, 2011

Grandma's Little Girls

We have had our hair cut
Been to grocery
Had lunch

The youngest loves being in
my bedroom and picking up
different memory objects
and asking about them.

She found my basket where
I tuck all cards and pictures

Asked why I had a knife on my desk :)
told her it was a letter opener and
showed her how it works..

A picture taken of me years ago
she tells me "grandma I like that picture"

A special time
I love having them with me

Time goes by so quickly....

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Another December Evening

In a few hours
the arrival of a new day.
Not many left in this year.
Soon a new year will begin
Wonder what it will bring?

Hopefully
Happiness, Health, Safety and Peace
for all....

Friday, December 16, 2011

Potato Soup And Praise Of Craziness

A cold, rainy  and windy day
Feels like it could snow.

On a recent trip to the big city
I stopped in the upscale bake shop
bought my special bread
and noticed their soup for the day
potato with an addition of turnips and mushrooms.
Now I do not usually like any soup but my own
but ordered a cup - it came with a crusty piece of bread.
Oh, it was so good.
So, today at noon I made my potato soup,
was able to find 4 small turnips in the garden
had fresh mushrooms on hand
I made my soup a little different.
It was good.....

~~~~~On cold evenings
my grandmother
with ownership of half her mind...
the other half having flown back to Bohemia..

spread newspapers over the porch floor
so, she said, the garden ants could crawl beneath,
as under a blanket, and keep warm,

and what shall I wish for, for myself,
but, being so struck by the lightning of year,
to be like her with what is left, that loving.

~~In Praise Of Craziness, Of A Certain Kind~~    Mary Oliver

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Protected And Winter Solstice Is Approaching

For some reason this image
gives me a sense of peace
and protection.

The days are so short
the nights so long.
Time is approaching December 22.
Predicted time for days to begin
little by little to be a little longer.
I like the word Winter Solstice...

After many trips to big city for tests,
all involved to check out this container
for my spirit and soul - seems I may need
repair work on area where 2 years ago
 gall bladder surgery was performed.

Very independent, not wanting to be a burden
 and a family that is
super busy but it will come together.

Still not sure if I will have this done.
I will take one day at a time
moment by moment and the answer
will come.

Today I am picking turnip greens for freezer :)

So an interference on my path of simplicity
and mindfulness.

Life is full of surprises, so we need to just
accept them and go on.

As I look at the above image
I can  feel the warmth and security that
that the baby birds feel under the wings
of  one who loves them....

~~He will cover you with his feathers
     He will shield you with his wings
     His faithful promises
     are your armor and  protection~~      Psalms 91:4

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Beauty In The Sky And From The Earth

Picking turnip greens and a couple of turnips for evening meal  on a crisp middle December evening
Looked up at the sky
Beautiful
Went inside for camera
pictures just now downloaded
and not disappointed....

Life is Good.....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Afghan

This afghan was purchased close to 40 years ago.   Bought it when when family lived  in the really big house.
 Fall and Winter it is now on the end of my bed.
Very heavy and if extra warmth is needed it comes in handy

I always have the same thoughts in my mind ......
the needles used to crochet this afghan must have been huge
and I always wonder who made something
I have enjoyed for many years.

Many years ago an elderly lady taught me how to crochet.   Afghan's were made for the children, grandchildren
and a few special people.  Anna Lee is no longer living and what wonderful memories I have of her.  I never left her home without a piece of a plant or something she had cooked.
She did not drive and was always home.  Cooking, gardening and all kinds of beautiful handwork occupied her time.  She taught me  a very simple pattern and I have always wished I had someone
close by to instruct me once again.   I think I have forgotten how to sit and crochet.

There is nothing more peaceful then on a very cold or rainy day to sit by the fire and crochet. Absorbed in the counting process, not another thought would enter my mind.    Not realizing at that time in my life that I was practicing a form of mindfulness. 

Mindfulness now is practiced with an awareness of what I am doing.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Notes On My Desk

I am always copying special words
and putting on my desk by computer.

Glance  at them on and off through the day

This morning I see.....

Breathing in I am aware of my heart
Breathing out I smile to my heart....

I have to eat, drink and work in a way
that preserves my health and well being....

Facing something unknown in the future
I copied this

It is OK to feel what I am feeling
and in this moment I am perfectly safe
I am living in the moment
this precious moment....
(Dear Laura, thank you for these words)

Blessed are the merciful
for they will be shown mercy          Mathew 5:7

Let us be silent, that we may hear
the whispers of the gods  -  Ralph Waldo Emerson

If one's life is simple, contentment has to come.  Simplicity is
extremely important for happiness.  Having few desires,
feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital - satisfaciton
with just enough food, clothing, and shelter to protect
yourself.  Finally, there is an intense delight in
abandoning faulty states of mind and in cultivating
helpful ones in meditation.      The Dalai Lama

A new book has arrived and sits on my desk
 "Van Gogh The Life"
on a rainy day I will begin to read.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Incense


This post was written a little over a year ago.
Have started burning incense again
and love the smell.
Using healing incense and
am trying something new
a Tibetan Cedarwood Incense.
I now am using an wooden incense holder
instead of using a flower pot filled with sand :)
I loved that blue  flower pot and the bottom fell out .


Many times entering my son's small home there would be the most wonderful fragrance.

In the fall and winter he always burned incense.

This practice began in my home about 4 years ago.

Now that Fall has arrived in the woods - I love the scent of incense burning and find it comforting.

A wood burning fireplace is missed and guess this is something that has a woodsy scent.

Usually purchase a type that claims to have healing qualities and is made by Tibetan monks.

To capture a picture of the smoke rising was challenging.

A cold and very windy day. Some of the leaves surrounding the cottage are blowing away.

Chili on the stove and a new addition was used - my fresh basil.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Shining Through The Trees

So dark here in the country
but the wondrous brightness
of the moon is shining
through the trees.

Made me smile at the
end of a busy day....

Very  aware that
winter solstice is 2 weeks away.

What a welcome to have longer
days begin.

At the moment the days are so short
and nights so long....

Thursday, December 8, 2011

December Sky

Yesterday at 4:30
almost dark
 the wind was blowing
It was bitter cold
But look at the sky.

Breathtaking....

I receive "Tricycle Daily Dharma" each morning.

An excerpt from one of Jack Kornfield's books "there are two kinds of suffering - the suffering you run away from and follows you everywhere and the suffering you face and truly find liberation."

A busy day ahead and it is too early in the morning for me to give this statement the thought it deserves and to also read several pages about some of the author's books.

Most of us have felt uncomfortable being compassionate with ourselves and dealing with our own hearts with love - and that is where it all begins.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

That Was Then and This Is Now

I just finished ready Billy Graham's new book "Nearing Home"
It shares that his beloved wife Ruth would make the comment
"That was then and this is now"

I read these words
and they sure spoke to my heart.

For One Woman who is in her 3 score ten years.
Now is a good time.

I still smile at some memories that come to mind
but many are becoming more difficult to even remember.

My oldest granddaughter wrote me a note recently that shared
her special  memories of when she would visit the old farm house.
Playing in the orchard, times with Miss Molly my little dog,
riding the tractor, fishing in the pond and she reminded me of the
little bike I bought for her that had streamers hanging down from
the handle bars.

Now different memories are being made for my two youngest
grandchildren.   Times at grandma's walking the paths in the woods.
The fire pit that they like to stand by, running with Miss Callie,
the clocks in every room ticking and their comments that
it is so quiet here in this cottage and so dark at night because
there are no city street lights.  They will remember grandma
living in a cottage at the edge of the woods.

My children have different memories.   The times spent on a
farm where they grew up.  Horses and cows grazing in the fields,
swimming pool and my son's special go cart.

Then the memories of the really big home that was featured
in Southern Living magazine.  The country club dinners, the
trips to Jamaica, private school and all the perks of this
upscale lifestyle.

My older grandchildren  have memories of grandma alone
at an old farm house, homes she built and now recently
 returned
to  the country in a cottage at the edge of the woods

What in the world would have happened
without the encouragement from the strong
women in her family - her mother,a special aunt,
 grandmother's and it seems life always brought
a special person along at just the right time.
 Now they are all gone and
may she be as strong as they were and encourage
the generations that are coming behind her.

Wonders never cease - through all the
ups and downs she never gave up and
life continues to unfold.

That was then and this is now.....

~~~~regarding the picture of me and 4 children in the snow
my youngest Jamie - in the picture with me and my two youngest grandchildren
 had not been born as of yet~~~

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Poem

What I want to know, please, is
what is possible, and what is not.
If it is not, then I am for it.
My heart is out of its flesh-phase.
I am done with all of it, the habits, the patience,
Whoever I was, it is growing hazy and unforgettable.

Whoever I am, it is for mere appearance's sake.
It is for coin, and foolishness,
and I am thinking of something better.

All morning it has been raining.
In the language of the garden, this is happiness.
The tissues perk and shine.

Truly this is the poem worth keeping.
A mossy house anyone with any sense would enter
as soon as the soul begins
to desire the impossible.

I have never felt so young.

~~The Garden~~ by Mary Oliver

It is raining this morning in the woods and her poems never fail to speak to my heart.

May you have a day filled with happiness, health, safety and peace.

From one who lives at the edge of the woods.....

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Waiting

Waiting for the phone to ring
or
an email.
That my dear ones are close
to home
I am not good at waiting
Oh,
while I am typing
a new Email has arrived

What I have been waiting for....

They have landed and close to home

Now I can breathe deeply and smile....

Thankful

Friday, December 2, 2011

Breathe Deep - Still So Much To Learn

A special brunch this morning.
Do not like leaving the woods for events like this
or really any event.
But this is a special friend who invited me.
I almost felt like the guest of honor as she introduced me
and asked me to give a blessing before our meal.

She also asked me to go in the room where her
husband was in a hospital bed
and pray with him.
I have never seen a room so neat and clean
He was wearing a beautiful red striped shirt.
Not a wrinkle in it.
She told him who I was as she removed the
oxygen from his nose.
He smiled....

It took me a while to calm down from the early morning
event on the way to her home

Driving peacefully down the road
I looked up
A police car was following me
Just thought he was out cruising
until the lights started flashing

I pulled over
heart beating rapidly as I did not
want to arrive late at my destination.

The officer took his time
sitting in his vehicle it seemed like
5 minutes.
Walked over
and I replied "what have I done"
he said the new year car tag was not
on my license plate.

It was purchased just 2 weeks ago
and I put it on my license plate.

Guess some are being stolen as I
 I do not think it could have
fallen off.

So I was told that after I went to
my friend's  to go to local courthouse
and report and secure another one.

I was the last one arriving to the brunch
and I wanted to be first.

It was time consuming to
secure another sticker and
a cost of $16.50.  not much
but the whole situation seemed
to unsettle me.

Guess the One Woman has a
lot to learn about staying calm.

At times like these
I always remember my son's advise.

~Walk slow, breath and smile~~

sometimes it is easier said then done.....

Festive Sage

I still have an abundance of Sage
There is nothing like fresh Sage in your
dressing for Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanks to Sharon
I just found another way to use.
Cream cheese spread thin on plastic wrap
spread with Sage leaves
rolled up, refrigerated and later sliced thin
 for special
crackers or bread.
This looks very festive....

http://sharonlovejoy.blogspot.com/

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Needed

A much needed journey
for two loved ones.
Thankful for safe flight
Enjoy
Return home
rested and
at peace
Thank you for the image
Send you my love...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Herb Oil

My neighbor
who lives in a home
I built 12 years ago
shares her New York Times
weekend paper with me

When I thought I would try
city life
she found this home for sale
on Internet
A retired professor
moved here from the East..

Looking for a less expensive lifestyle

In this paper I found

A recipe for
Herb Oil
caught my eye.
I have all of the ingredients
wonder what I could use it on?

1 bunch of fresh Thyme
1/2 bunch of Rosemary
1 bunch of Sage
5 cloves of Garlic, peeled
1 tbsp Kosher salt
2 1/2 cups of Virgin Olive Oil

all into a food processor
pulse to combine
add splash of olive oil
place mixture in jar and add rest of olive oil
Lasts about a week.

The Florida daughter and soninlaw
eat a lot of baked potatoes with
avocado, garlic and olive oil.

Wonder if they would like this?
But then they do not have mom's
herbs growing outside their door....

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Early Morning

Cold and damp morning.
It has started to SNOW....
Enya's "And Winter Came"
is echoing throughout this cottage.
All is well
With a thankful heart I begin this day.....

Monday, November 28, 2011

Uplifting And Soothing

The second  all day rain  in the woods and another expected tomorrow.   This is a good time to finish addressing cards and wrapping gifts.   They are half of what they were in past years.
The decorations in the store room will remain untouched.    A wreath as you approach the cottage,
candles on the table, a few red flowers, small berry tree and an angel on my desk, that is about it.
The unadorned woods surrounding this cottage are magnificent and all that this
One Woman needs.


Since receiving the "Temple Coming Home" CD from Amazon,  it is listened to it on off throughout the day and even as I prepare for bed.   The music and the words are so peaceful and even though most of the words I cannot
pronounce and are unfamiliar I find they impart peace to my soul and I believe inner healing.
Listening to their soft words I find that I begin to slow down and feel peace.
Wish I had a load speaker and could play it throughout the woods !!
Reading the enclosed circular I discovered this is their first CD - hopefully there will be others.

I learned about this CD from a special friends sharing - Laura
you can find her at   http://orli-shines.blogspot.com/

Saturday, November 26, 2011

An Invitation

A book of poetry arrived yesterday.
Written by a special young woman.
I have read her profound words for several years.
Relating to them so deeply that I have
always felt like a mother and a soul mate to
Kaveri.

Still finding  it amazing that through purchasing a computer 5 years ago
that I feel so connected to one who writes, practices medicine and lives in California.
Here I live in the edge of the woods in Tennessee and who
would think that I over the years I adopted her in my heart.

Always have known  that a book
would soon be on the way.

 I am so proud of her  quest to find answers
not through religious texts, any particular person or popular dogma,
but through her own experiences.




Can be purchased through aninvitationpoetry@gmail.com/
or sometime in January on Amazon

Friday, November 25, 2011

Early Morning Memories

Cool this morning in the 30's.
Yesterday, a family day, sounds of laughter, sharing, eating at the big table, walking in the woods, sitting by the fire pit, it was a good day.
My soninlaw even picked a bag of turnip greens to take home and cook.
Early this morning I will finish cleaning the kitchen and  items that are only used on these special times.
Several loads of wash, cloth napkins, table cloth, hand towels and my walking in the woods clothes.
I love using cloth napkins and very seldom use paper.   They are all getting so old but they are special to me.  The napkins on the table yesterday were
purchased at an after Christmas sale, probably over 45 years ago.  The table cloth was purchased on a trip to Jamaica, almost 50 years ago.  I use to be so cautious when using it.  Still somewhat careful but want to enjoy it.   Place mats same age are placed under each plate for a little protection.     Everything I use is getting so old and as I place them on the table
so many memories surface.
As each car pulled out of the long gravel drive I watch, return inside with Miss Callie and count my
blessings.
I realize more with each passing year how God has watched over me, protected me and showed his love to me in so many special ways....

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Fresh Herbs For Thanksgiving

Cool outside and there is a special gift of herbs that
are still thriving in my new herb garden.

What a pleasure to take my little scissors and
clip some of  you to add to my Thanksgiving Dinner

Sage, Parsley, Thyme, Chives, Dill and Mint
and a vase of Rosemary for my table.

Ever Thankful for some of the special  gifts
that come from living at Woodhaven.

On this special day Blessings to all far and near.
We have so much to be Thankful for....

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

This Time A Gift - Thanksgiving 2011



This is my post one year ago.   The same words true this morning and it almost seems  like time stands still.   Menu the same except just pumpkin pie and
 adding my little girl's favorite lemon ice box pie.

A busy day ahead.....



Solitude and aloneness
will wait
Personal needs
Outside and inside grooming

Doing all that can be prepared ahead
Turkey thawing
Corn bread for dressing and veggies chopped
Ready for oven, butternut squash and brussel sprouts
Little one remembered a mention of apple dumplings
Commented "grandma, I've never tasted dumplings"
So - another desert will be on the sideboard
Along with pumpkin and pecan pie
From a summer garden, corn and green beans,
potatoes and gravy
Added touch cranberry sauce and relish tray
Fresh fruit and rolls
Ice tea, coffee
Special drink for the little girls

Not being served - oyster casserole
Her son's favorite

Big table will not be full - like in the past
But they are remembered in other states
And - across the ocean

The little one's always notice the table
Special dishes, glasses, gleaming silverware,
candles glowing.
A special prayer

Thanksgiving

Dinner finished
some will look at her books and old pictures
some will rest
paths in the woods with Miss Callie
may call
a time to just be

When the last car leaves the woods ...
One Woman has her memories
happiness and sadness
for present and past.


"The only reason for time is so that
everything does not happen at once"

~Albert Einstein~




Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Memories

Corn bread is cooling on my grandmother's biscuit board.   It has to be way over 150  years old.  My mother gave it to me.   Have not used this iron skillet in a long time and the bread stuck but it does not matter since
it will be crumbled for dressing.   Sweet tea is cooling and will bake a pumpkin pie in the morning.
All is going well.   Not the massive dinner like in the past but it will touch my heart when my little ones
coming running with a hug for their grandma.

Children and grandchildren will be missed this Thanksgiving.  But I can visualize them sitting at the big
table....

The corn bread recipe was given to a 27 year old as she arrived home with her third child, her baby son.   It is the recipe I have used for many years.  The corn bread tasted so good along with fresh green beans from a young neighbor.   I can still feel the warmth in my heart as she gave me that gift.  Think it was the first I had ever received when arriving home with a new born.   Martha, you come to mind often over the years...

Southern Corn Bread

l beaten egg
l cup of corn meal
l cup of buttermilk
1/2 tsp baking soda
dash of salt

Poured in a hot iron skillet that has been greased with bacon drippings and baked in a 450 degree oven
until brown.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Woodhaven

Home!
My very heart's desire is safe
within thy walls.
The voices of my loved ones, friends who come.
My treasured books that rest in niche serene,
All make more dear to me thy haven sweet,
Nor do my feet
desire to wander out except that
they may have the glad return at eventide.
Dear Home

Home! my very heart's contentment lies within thy walls.
Nor worldly calls hath power to turn my eye
in longing from
thy quietness.  Each morn
when I go forth upon the duties of
the day I wend my way
content to know that eve will bring me
safely to thy walls again.
Dear Home

Nellie Womack

Nan thank you for sharing this poem with me.  
Over and over I read the words.
It is truly me....
http://lettersfromahillfarm.blogspot.com/

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Women Who've Gone Before Us

This post was written almost 2 years ago.   Still so very true.   This special lady was called
yesterday as I have her so often on my mind and heart.   She never fails to respond and in a short time there was an email.
I can see her face and her special smile.

Pastor Sandy, thank you for always being there with your uplifting spirit.   I send my love and blessings
to you.....

January, 2009

One by one they were gone from her life. She wondered at times,
when your mother and grandmother are gone, where does a woman go for advice?
A thought to ponder. Especially since she tended to be a loner. Always busy and not doing what the masses were involved in. So true friendships were few and far between.
When she looked back over her life there were probably about 6 different women other then her mother and grandmother who she could share her heart with. Only a part was shared and never the whole picture. Each person knew her differently and would not understand her whole personality. At this particular time the majority of these women are no longer living. There is one person for about 14 years that she can share anything without embarrassment.
From time to time when she feels overwhelmed, depleted emotionally and needs a compassionate listener, a word of wisdom that makes sense, or just to feel loved -  she still contacts this special lady.
She remembers the first time she heard her speak. A new church and she was a teacher and now a pastor. Her words were like a soothing balm. This special lady had experienced so much that had happened in her own life and probably is still happening. She understands and does not judge. So the thought always arises when she is stressed out - this special lady - was able to make it and I can also.
She almost picked up the phone yesterday and placed a call. Finally she was able to handle the emotional upheaval, sadness and questions in her heart and mind.
As she continues her list of blessings this special lady continues to be at the top of the list.
She wonders do others have someone special like this?
She wonders if others need someone like this? I think at times we all do.

Some thoughts from One Woman on her Journey Through This Life.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Life Continues With Questions

Just received call from doctor's office.
Good news
CT scan showed nothing that I feared
except
site where  gall bladder surgery was done two years ago.
Hernia
So - at present will watch
and sometime in future go to see surgeon who did that surgery.
Extreme fatigue - medical reason - high levels of inflammation.
Sjogren's is affecting this body in numerous ways.
Common sense reason
any woman who builds 3 homes and moves that many times  in the last 8 years
and goes nonstop in her 70's
may not have good sense
and needs to slow down.
Also being of a sensitive nature - it seems with age a lot bothers me more deeply then in the past.
I really have never felt my age before this episode.
So I am probably very fortunate.
Enough shared
Ever thankful for results that just arrived.
Still have unanswered questions and no one
has time to listen
Weary of appointment and driving to the big city
for a 15 minute consultation.
I appear healthy and moving quickly
but I am very tired.
Do not like the thought of future repair on my body.
Ashamed to even say this when it is minor compared
to what could be.  So forgive me for this statement

At the moment I have the thought I may never go to a doctor again
will go to the woods and sit under a tree.
On second thought have to go to dentist next week for a crown procedure...

Thanks to so many who have continually had me in their thoughts and have contacted me.
You will never know how special you are to this One Woman.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Could You Imagine

My youngest granddaughter at age 6 is requesting a dictionary for Christmas.
I smile at this special request.
Christmas it will be at grandma's.

On a lighter or more serious note
according to they way you look at it.

Early this morning
Nurse opens door and calls my name.
I follow her and she request I put on gown and tells me they are going to start an IV.
Told her the information I received said no gown or IV.
Then I was told she was preparing me for MRI of the brain
What.....
To make a long story short
seems another person had the same name.
Went through admitting process
and was given two large containers of a drink that tasted like a banana milk shake - not bad.
But then remember with this dry mouth condition I do not taste much.
So apologies were in order
but I wondered if I had been just a little more nervous I might
have had an MRI of my brain
instead of scan of pelvic area.

So pleased my Jamie arrived to keep me company and found me drinking my shake and not receiving an MRI.

Just received information that EKG was fine and also blood work
There were very high levels of inflammation which goes along with Sjogrens
A miracle that I do not ache all the time.
Was offered a steroid...no way unless I am much more uncomfortable.
At present I only ache a lot when I first  get up in the morning and when there
is a weather change.

Waiting for scan information...

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Waiting

Called doctor's office
just before closing time
yesterday
to see if results from test
had arrived.
Was told -yes - but not time
to review them.
So, I choose to think
"no news is good news"

This early morning the original me
has resurfaced.

Cat scan on Monday morning
my Jamie will keep me company
while I drink some awful drink.
Then heading home and I bet
Miss Callie will be sitting in the
drive waiting for me.

A drive through the country yesterday.
Next week will return with camera.
Saw a number of old buildings
I want to take images of.
One an old carriage house....

"In our everyday encounters, can we put our egos aside, our need to be brutally honest, and dwell for a few minutes in the mind and heart of the receiver to discern the impact our message might have.  Let us seek a kinder version of truth telling.  Let us search our hearts to find the most considerate way to speak our truth.  Let us balance honesty with compassion"

In part from Jan  this early morning   jan@buddhachick...beadsofwisdom

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Psalm 103

The trees surrounding my cottage will soon be bare.   At the moment everywhere I look the ground
is covered with leaves.  The drive, stepping stones to the cottage,  flower beds and little vegetable plot  are all covered and protected from the coming winter.
Some leaves will be blown into the woods, some raked and many left on the garden as wonderful mulch.
Everything is beginning to rest.
The same thing is happening for One Woman.
Rest from the ongoing gardening and outside work.
Rest from much that needs to be done inside.
Rest from sharing on her journal as often.
Rest from downloading images - until soninlaw solves this problem.
I could not experience the joy of writing and my camera without this
special soninlaw and  people who help me with problems...
Today will try and go at a slower pace.
Anyone that knows me is aware how difficult this is for me.
Trip to the big city doctor today.
Need to check out some new issues that have developed since last week.
All that communicate with me
know in your heart that you are special to me
and many times "the wings beneath my feet"

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower
of the field: the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its
place remembers it no more   But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his
righteousness with their children's children - with those who
keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
Psalm 103  15-18

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Bumper Crop of Acorns

At Woodhave the
Acorns are falling like pennies from Heaven.
That is - if you are a squirrel.

They are everywhere, terrace, drive, garden, falling on cottage
and falling on my vehicle.
Have to be careful as I walk.
Hardly noticed any the last two years.
I wondered is it only me.
Googled it and
seems everywhere this is happening and many are wondering why?

I have nothing to base this on
just my deep sense of intuition
but think we are in for a bad winter.

Smart squirrels are busy storing the acorns.
They have not been visiting my bird feeders for several weeks..

A foggy morning will lead the way for a few nice days.
Continuing to clean up garden, rake leaves
in a few days and clean the overflowing gutter.

Now if some winds would arise
it sure would be a help to this One Woman.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Rainbow Morning

Yesterday....
Loading my truck for errands
going to town to pick up some fence post.
Surveyor returning so I can clearly mark
one property line.
This was surveyed when I sold the old farm house
For years it did not matter about this line.
Now that I have returned home and
 time is flying by so quickly it now seems
important to me to know exactly
where the line is.
Also some draining of water that I
do not like and gravel will be delivered soon.
In Spring will seed heavily and surely
this will help.  May need another culvert.
Another thought it may be a perfect
place for a small  pond - but do I want a
pond in that area.
There is one by the old farm house and one more created
by another home built on this property.  They are
picturesque - so many projects that I did not plan to do.
Will wait until my son returns and see
what he thinks of this idea.

As I was loading truck
I looked at the sky
What joy the view of a rainbow
gives me.

I felt it was a gift from God
that all is well.....

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Traditions

So much has changed and is still changing.
No longer is the big table filled at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
No longer are there summer gatherings.
where my grandmother, parents,  sisters, nieces and nephews and cousins
all gathered.
These gatherings always at my home. 
The aunts who welcomed me into their homes and included
me in special meals - have all passed away.
So now back home in a small cottage in the woods the doors are always open.
The cabinets are filled with all the special dishes and platters used at these times.
When I know someone is visiting the pantry is full and fresh baked goods are on the counter.
The last true family gathering was just before my mother passed away and also
my youngest daughter's wedding.
I can still see her walking down the stone walkway with her dress billowing in the breeze.
A harp was playing - she was a beautiful bride and still is....
Everyone came - far and near.
So I wonder what will it take  for all of mine to once again gather?
I realize  some are over the ocean and some in other states - where they are starting
their own traditions.
This is wonderful and I smile for them  but at times it is sad for me.
Special memories ever present in my heart, mind, times have changed
and continuing to change.
I remember so well my mother talking to my grandmother every morning and evening.
This is something I continued to do with my mother.
Always thought it would happen with me
but not so.
My children check in - but not daily,  morning and night.
Many times I am invited to do something special
with my children and it seems I truly do not like leaving
my woods.
I battle with this and sometimes when I make the
effort to leave I am pleased and other times not.
Happy times and then some sad moments  in my life,
guess that can be for all of us.
At this moment I am  happy and at peace  but  miss my
children and grandchildren.
This is what happens when children grow up
start their families and are no longer living near by.

So you  accept what happens as life goes on
and dwell on the happy times and try to
forget what makes you sad....

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Acorn Squash

I used Sharon's recipe last night.
Small portion for one and there will be enough for today.
A very small squash
a little less then half the onion and sausage.
No bread crumbs on hand and I toasted
two slices of bread, dried and crumbled.

Very tasty and gave me an idea
for an extra dish on the big table
for Thanksgiving.

I am going to look for very small squash,
Bake and fill them with a mixture of rice, mushrooms,
onion and sausage.

Sharon, thank you

http://www.owlinmaine.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A Must Before The Rain and Acorn Squash

Today and tomorrow almost like Spring.
Soybean field is being cut.
This is good since rain is coming in Thursday.
Love the way the field looks when it is
freshly cut.
In the morning I will walk in the field before
plowing or no till preparation for Spring.
A simple pleasure that I enjoy.

Past years my children would find arrow heads
in the clean fields.
Such excitement on their face as they ran to
to show me their treasures.  My son still
has a bag of arrow heads among his
belongings here at the cottage.

I am trying a new recipe
the aroma is wonderful.
Acorn squash, onion, sausage
and covered with breadcrumbs.
Will let you know how it turns out
and more about it...

Monday, October 31, 2011

They Never Told Me

Last week I started taking COQ 10.
Have read a lot about the benefits.
Also a blogger friend shared that
someone in her family who also had
 Sjogrens
took this.
When I mentioned this to my daughters
two of them commented they had been
taking it for quite a while.

The only daily prescription I take is
a low blood pressure pill.
3 days ago it was 116/6l - but it
seems whenever I am upset or
stressed it goes very high.
Do have prescription medication that
I take when health issues surface.
Usually about 3 times a year for this.

Wondered what some of my friends
are taking - but 90% of you are younger
and I just started taking most of these
in the last two years.
Before that just multi vitamin and the
blood pressure pill.

 In my past years
I never believed in taking vitamins.
Always of the mindset that I did
not need them that I followed
a healthy diet and lifestyle.

I think lately I should be writing with the
title "What it is like be in your seventies
when in many ways it is not much
different then in the
50' s and 60's  :)

Just looked at my image
and that sure looks like a lot
that I am now taking.

Wonder - is it necessary :)

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Country Road Sights

Misty rain
One Woman while driving
the country roads
seems to have taken on a
new interest.
Taking images either
through vehicle window or
standing on the side of the road...

EMBARRASSING

SOMEONE HAS TAKEN MY EMAIL ADDRESSES
AND SENDING OUT PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL
LIKE IT IS FROM ME
SEVERAL HAVE CALLED ME
SO SORRY IF YOU RECEIVE THIS LINK
DO NOT OPEN

Friday, October 28, 2011

Evening Smile

After a long day I am
reading my youngest daughter's entry
on Vicks Vapor Rub.  She shares memories
about special childhood scents.

Yes, Vicks is still comforting to her mom.

Reading her comments
She made me smile
she wrote that whenever she smells Murphy's Oil Soap
it reminds her of me .

Well my older daughter's have said when
they smell L'Air Du Temps by Nina Ricci
and Vita Bath, memories of mom arise.

I have memories of Joy and the wonderful scent of roses.

Of course when they were growing up
it was a different lifestyle. Mom was more
sophisticated.    So guess my
youngest with her and I in the old farmhouse
she has memories of mom cleaning, gardening
and the special animals we raised.

Might add that I recently found Vita Bath on
Amazon and ordered.  First time in probably
25 years.  Guess I deserve the treat :) 
It is amazing - with this country
water that is hard and a person who loves
a wonderful warm bath - this product is
great.   Added perk - your tub practically
cleans itself - never a ring
Also the scent is so fresh....

http://blondemomblog.com/

Thursday, October 27, 2011

My Rabbits Foot Fern

I have brought the last of my plants inside from the screen porch.
This Rabbits Foot Fern has traveled with me for years from home to home.
Even though I have read they can tolerate the low teens in temperature
I just feel better with it inside.
In a few days I will put it in the garage.
When it is time to once again put on the porch
it will look like it is almost dead.
In a short time it comes back to life.

Are we sometimes like this
maybe thinking we can just not make it
it is near the end
and then
we come back to life....

~~In fall
the cricket beneath the rose bush watches
We call this time of year
the beginning of the end of another circle,
a convenience
and nothing more.
For the cricket's song is surely a prayer,
and a prayer, when it is given.

This is a truth I'm sure of,
for I am older than I use to be,
and therefore, I understand things
nobody would think of
who's young and in a hurry,
The snow is very beautiful,

Under it are the lingering petals of frangrance,
and the timeless body of prayer ~~

In part from    ~~The Cricket and the Rose ~~    Mary Oliver

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Another Old Barn

Trip to the big city this morning
As I stood looking out the 8 th floor window
wish  my camera was not in the car.
The Nashville skyline
the one one I left over 2 years ago
looked beautiful.
Good news about hearing test.
Has been 8 years and my hearing has
improved.
12 years ago while caring for my mother
lost hearing in right ear.   Went through a lot
of tests and MRI and they could find nothing
unless it was because of a virus.
Driving home
pass so many old barns and was able
to take another pleasing image.
When I download the image
it seems to look so much more
beautiful then what I see with my naked eye
Wonder why?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Excitement In The Cottage

Yesterday.....

I always keep the screen door propped open
so Callie can come in and out.
Opened the door and like times
in the past a small bird was on the porch.
Sad, just flying from one end to the other
and hitting against the screen.
Picked up my butterfly net and was trying
to catch it - when I noticed the door to
the cottage was still open.
So, a bird is in the house.
She (will name her this) flew against the
window in kitchen  and as luck would have it
on she flew into my utility room and
I quickly shut the door.
Opened that door which goes into
the garage.  Opened garage door
and out she went.

I know there is someone watching over me.

If the bird had stayed in the house with these
high ceilings
I can just image a mess and maybe some damage...

Monday, October 24, 2011

Old Barns

This old barn is still standing
in a field
on a country road that I drive
about once a week.
I always feel a sense of sadness
as I view it.
In past years  a beauty
and  still  beautiful to me.

So many stories you could share.
Now with years of  neglect
 who knows how much longer
you will still be proudly standing.

Always looking your way
while driving by.

Ever aware
 road is winding and
always
glancing to see if there is
a car behind
or one approaching.

Finally was able to take a picture.
Hoping all along that I would
be safe
as I stood in the middle of the road.

The thought
when one has a passion for
the camera and the excitement
it brings from a good shot -
chances are taken.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

A Reminder From "Beads of Wisdom"

Yesterday, the twice a month
 4 hour outside help was late.
Since my day begins at 4:30 in the morning
1:30 my slow down begins.
They did not arrive until almost 3:00.
She has tried but never learned to
give instructions and let them carry on.
Always working almost side by side
with them.
But then more is accomplished this way.
When they left, her evening meal,
and after bath the pain began.
Neck, shoulders, knee, ankle and
she can hardly move.
Cleaning small garden, picking turnip greens,
walking the new clearing many times and
picking up limbs, raking leaves, shoveling,
putting summer items up off screen porch,

 she brought this on.

So a new morning
she will move slow
may have to take something to
relieve pain is it does not go away.

Oh, this story is not new.  This is a
repeat of hundreds of times over the years.
But now she is old and still has not
learned to pace herself.

There  is a big difference in
doing all of this in your 50's and 60's
then when you have rolled past
your middle 70's.
But then in her mind - it is only
a number and really does not
describe this One Woman.

She is well aware that much she is
doing is really not that important.
So why - has she not learned?

Jan's words which are sent to me each morning
were especially meaningful this morning.
http://awakened-living.blogspot.com/.

Beads of Wisdom

October 23, 2011

Today ...
We know we should be kinder to and gentler with ourselves--as tender and loving to ourselves as we are toward others. But we're not. We may continue to push ourselves beyond all limits, strive for perfection, work too hard, play too little, and expect more from ourselves than we would ever expect from anyone else. As a result, we continue to exhaust, overwhelm, and burn out at an alarming rate. What can we do?
We can begin by setting healthy, new intentions for ourselves, though, truthfully, intentions are not enough. To make the shift from self-loathing, criticism, judgment or stinginess, actual baby steps are required--small acts of loving-kindness that jumpstart our self-worth. We deserve our own love.

"Beads of Wisdom" is a daily reminder for living compassionately with ourselves and others, sent in the spirit of Metta by Janice Lynne Lundy.


Spread loving-kindness and share this Bead with a friend or have her subscribe by visiting BuddhaChick.Org

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Morning Fog As Day Breaks Into Sun

Early morning fog
over the dried soybean field.
In hours a
sunny cool day.
Hoping for  harvest soon
and planting of winter wheat.
The bright green field would
be a delight to view
through the winter snow
instead of a clear earth field.
But then both are beautiful
in their own way.

I guess just like each of us ....

For a change, do nothing.
 Do it without fear.

See how in doing nothing,
everything is somehow done.          

Words from  ~~The Mystic Garden~~  by Gunilla Norris

Friday, October 21, 2011

Painting In The Sky

For a little over two years I have had the blessing of viewing the most beautiful sunsets
from the porch of my cottage.
Last night was a repeat performance
The images I capture with my camera
cannot convey the depth
of the beauty I see.
No words to share how these sunsets
speak to my heart and soul.

Ever thankful for this gift
in the last years of my life...