Thursday, April 27, 2017

Problem Solved

Yes computer problem solved late yesterday
so pleased.
I am trying to use other ways to go on line, but so accustomed to AOL it is now difficult for me to change
Use Google some and on this site cannot pull up my favorites list of most I use.

Let me know what some of you use ?

It causes such stress when I cannot use computer in my normal way and have thoughts
at this age should I just stop but I cannot since this is a big part of my life.

Connection with children, grandchildren as most live far away, information I am constantly
researching, buy much from Amazon and on and on.  I still enjoy writing but now at this
age and health issues have started it is a challenge for me to know what to share
and not to share as do not want to be boring.   But now have the thought if no one reads
I just plain love to write as it is a habit....

So computer, reading and camera are so important to me.  In the past gardening would be on
this list and now I direct a young man.   Yesterday he was here for 3 hours pulling weeds,
moving plants and so pleased having him but so sad that he is now doing what I did for 60 years.

Jimmy leaves at noon, daughter Laurie and husband here a while this afternoon and then
Callie and this one.  Many coming and going down the gravel road and happy for this,
sad my son is leaving but so happy that he has a life he loves.

Have never been around anyone so patient with me, helpful with out me asking, taking me
to grocery, doctors, out to eat, suggestions on so much I do and much reorganized and taken to Good Will.
As a mother I am very proud of him and I have learned much from him over these last weeks. He is disciplined in his yoga and walking practice twice a day
and in his teaching of Yoga and helping others with health issues.

He leaves me with the thought
of striving to be more like him..


I can say no more

and from a mother's heart
safe travel wishes go forth for him.


Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Computer Problems

Placed several calls for help
and it has not arrived,

Lost my list of favorites and cannot lob in AOL the way I am accustomed too :(

Jimmy cannot help either.

An old memory image

My children, young grandchildren that are now grown, their dad holding 3 young ones.
All of this before two youngest.

A beautiful sunny day but rain returning tomorrow for a number of days

So just checking in....   Seems I can write on Blogger :)

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Rain

Sunday and rains continue.
Grass is a beautiful vibrant green
flowers beginning to bloom
and pictures taken through screen on porch
show this.
Daughter, Laurie arriving from Tampa, Jimmy preparing for last days and time for this one and son
to return to their lives.  A special 6 weeks is coming to an end.....

Friday, April 21, 2017

Week of Activity

Last week end my Jamie and grand girls arrived.  A new way of cooking veggies for me, sliced many on cookie sheet that has been sprayed and sliced a lot of vegetables that had been brushed
with olive oil, garlic and some of my recently planted herbs.  A lot of good things to add to olive
oil but have not had time to research
several of sheets filled with Brussels sprouts, egg plant, zucchini, carrots, yellow squash and red, yellow and green peppers.

Girls were taken to friends home who raises goats, so many new babies.  Can remember a time
40 years ago when I wanted to do this.
Busy days continue and soon will end.  Many memories being made.  Rain continues, ground so wet
and flowers are thriving among the weeds (which bothers me) but if true as other years it will not be long until hot weather arrives....

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Words of Wisdom

Kept thinking of these words all through the night and smiled

My youngest granddaughter in the shower or tub on loft
a long time
and I called up stairs and said
"Amelia, what are you doing, are you alright ?)

Reply as she opened the door wrapped in a towel

"grandma
you can't rush relaxation"

oh my a lesson I need to learn.


Thursday, April 13, 2017

I Listen To His Words on Food

Daily I listen to his words as he observes what I do and eat.
Now agreeing with a lot that I listened too but did not totaly agree with over the last few weeks.
Making some changes.  So thankful for this 6 week visit and him to view instead of just listening
to me like I share on weekly emails.  Time soon ends:(

First sugar reminded of sugar :) since I have lost some weight even though eating healthy but 2 small meals
consume a lot of Ensure which is fine but not fine to add ice cream or add a better quality ice cream.
My reason for drinking the Ensure with Ice Cream is trying to add calories so I do not lose
any more weight.  I do not have a hearty appetite

Yes calories but adding a lot of sugar, also yogurt stopping purchasing flavored yogurt which is loaded with sugar and using the best high quality yogurt I can find.   I hear "sugar is a worse addiction then heroine"   Oh my and know it is not good for all of the inflammation in this body

Thought I already knew a lot but doing more research on healthy fat foods. I know what they are but when you wake up at
1 or 2 in the morning, hungry since last meal at 2:30 pm it is so easy and satisfying to open an Ensure and put ice cream in it.   So will now have quality yogurt with a few cashews, whole dates (that have been softened in warm water to make easier to chew) and 1/2 of banana.   This is healthier.

Yesterday's Lebanese meal gave me more ideas.   Tomorrow buying egg plant, zucchini, yellow squash, colored peppers and more veggies to roast in oven with olive oil and more ingredients.
Will add a good healthy cheese, black rice, lentil beans, hummus and pita bread.  A few more items and of course
turkey hot dogs and marshmallow's, used on burning pit  for granddaughter's.
Will buy some healthy cheese and some good dark chocolate.  I eat healthy but it needs to go to the
next level.
 Next morning
will make French toast, covered with blueberries and add some maple syrup for granddaughters.


breakfast this morning
scrambled egg with colored peppers and kale (frozen in freezer), yogurt with cashews and dates and a small side
of last of my Zucchini bread, green tea and small glass of whole milk.
Would say this was healthy....Callie enjoyed what I could not eat :)

Also, no more chances walking without cane in this cottage...

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Special Lunch

Enjoying these Wednesday
outings to the big city.

Will soon miss
as all of this
so rare....

Today, lunch at a new place "Epice"
food excellent
gave me some healthy new ideas,
served black rice, the best hummus with pita
vegetables grilled (I need to do this)
a Lebanese restaurant
sat outside.

Visitors in the country at the close of the day.

Young granddaughter's soon spending the night,  Uncle  Jimmy will pick up Pizza Saturday,  and RN daughter Beth
taking me to breakfast on Sunday morning.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Everything Arises , Evrerything Falls Away - Ajahn Chah

When cottage was finished almost 9 years ago

son had  stored a lot here preparing for move to Bangkok

this reclining Buddha was deteriorating

and he placed him in the woods on a stump.

Have not been able to go back in the woods and view.

An image taken a while ago

but love the look :)

I want to plant some perennials from garden around him :)




He looks so peaceful
and like he is comfortable
in my woods

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Saturday Ending - A Beautiful Day

Still not confident planting herbs in their outside pots.

Seeds I planted, doing so good,
 take out during the day
and bring inside at night.


Always through the years  hung clothes outside to dry, weather permitting,  line now on a slight slope and no longer can risk falling
but with the bright sunshine I hang on 2 racks on deck.
Last of 4 small loads and whites so very white and back on bed with the sunshine scent.'
I rarely see this done in this rural community, hung clothes outside, all through the years loved
doing this and when my girls would visit they liked using my line and wooden clothes pins.
They would  share- it brought back memories....

Alone today and finished vegetable soup I made with my pimento cheese for a sandwich, had not made in a while, kept thinking of it and made.
Day is ending..
I sit on the small front porch, I love sitting here,  many birds flying in and out of the feeders.  I notice a black bird
and finally see the small gold and red stripe on its side, captured an image of a Red Winged Blackbird
Googles image


Friday, home therapy started once again, over and over it is recommended that I use a
walker.  After Arthur explained, arthritis, aging and the fact that 13 years ago fractured
instep and ankle, stupid me thinking it was a sprain, did not go to doctor and it was painful.
When I finally went to have it exrayed months later was told it was fractured, healed
and surgery no longer an option.  Has not bothered me much through the years
but last 4 years severely affecting balance - my fault.
I want to be outside, nature is like therapy to this one and this will keep me safe in yard and drive with the big wheels
and basket for phone, water, camera and more will keep on porch or garage so I do not have to bring down steps.
Ordered yesterday and Arthur the therapist found it online and said he would assemble.
It was the least expensive on Amazon and if not pleased can return it.
Less then ordering through insurance and and takes forever to receive :)
Finally gave in because I have to be outside and hopefully feel safe with this...
Never the  thought in the past of using something like this
but seems everything changes...

Hopefully Spring Has Arrived

View this early morning after a few 30 degree and rainy mornings.  A beautiful sunny day is beginning.


Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Another day - Not many more like these and fall....

New place in Nashville
the best Fish Taco
and since I cannot eat spicy food they chopped just an avocado for me.
Mama's treat for his birthday.
Jamie was able to leave work for an hour.
I want to return again when once again no one near..
These weekly outings so good for me
and will soon miss.

Arriving home
made a quick turn
and fell on the floor on my side, hitting side of head.
I am fine, slight headache but it frightened me to the core,
happy I was not alone as Jimmy coming in from garage and I called for him and he helped me up,
When you have had a lifetime of busyness,
and now balance is really bad, I was not carrying cane and sometimes do not in this cottage as I feel confident within these walls,
 continually being told to  slow down in every way and RN daughter tells me to use the walker and I am not ready to do this and use at night if unsteady getting out of bed,
it is difficult and I am trying....I must be a slow learner.

I see my spirit as I look at recent pictures with some of my children, a happy and peaceful spirit that is shining through my eyes when family is with me
but in reality not the physical me.
Some of family see these images and think "she is fine" but really not - am I making sense.
My body does not feel the best, balance and falls frighten me and I think during this night
I must be two people - my spirit inside and the real body and mind at this time of life.

Morning, will go and have hair washed, have never done this during my lifetime  always cut my hair
now because of rotator torn in  both shoulders from falls cannot lift arms to do this,
I do not like having this done, want to do it myself - like past years.
So I share reality
forgive me.

I read
you lose what you cling too.

So maybe I am not facing reality and longing for the past....

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Happening and Happy Birthday

Change is good, were told, keeps us on our toes.
A fresh breeze thrown to us through life
keeps us on our toes
fully alive until we die.      Joan Oliver

Happy Birthday to my son

Remember well
your grandmother bringing me home on a warm April morning
in her old car.
New one sitting in our drive
but dad had a busy day
so my mom brought me home.

a few memories

thank you for having car serviced yesterday and taking Callie for Rabbi shot...

love, mama

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Today in the Country

A day full of pleasure



Family times
with everyone so busy
are few and far between.




Saturday, April 1, 2017

Busy Day's

So much has been done in the last two weeks.   My long to do list is now down to about 3 items.

Wonder how I could have been so far behind with such a long list
but the last two years have not been normal.

Nice to have Jimmy with me for dental appointments, cortisone shots, business matters, hair appt,
books now so neatly organized, storage room cleaned and many items taken to Good Will
and thrown away.   Now down to Callie for Rabbi shot next week, car serviced and still going
over a lot of paper work in this cottage.

Morning yoga has started again for this one and have been given several new poses.  The one that I really notice
a difference is while standing, shoulders and face relaxed, upper legs tight, using strap behind upper
waist - your posture is perfect (probably not describing too well :) do this 2 or 3 times a day.

Thought I have an excellent diet but much has been pointed out to me - will share later and now
doing better.   I told him that I am not looking for longevity for one now traveling the beginning of the 80's
but would like the best quality of life I can have on this journey.

Trips to city every week to some special places I have wanted to visit and lunch in some of the
new places opening in Nashville.    Nashville not the same city I moved from 9 years ago, so much
building and I hardly recognize the city I knew so well in years past.

Tomorrow family will arrive for a cookout for his birthday.   Looking forward to seeing most
of family.

Still struggle with balance, being careful, health issues could be worse but still do not like
arthur and balance. Repeatedly being told I do everything to fast - a life time practice and trying to
be slower... it is difficult.   Purchased a Leki walking stick I really like better then their cane.  Did a lot
of research and this is better for posture and also helps with pain for the way you grip the top of the cane

Upstairs loft has been converted to his daily yoga practice of 2 hours
and my orchids have been blooming since December and show no sign of stopping :)

These special times will be missed when he leaves for his second home
all of these hours such a special gift to me.

He always meets with special boyhood, school friends on these visits and sad that two of these
friends have parents with serious issues....

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Inspiration

If you always put limits on everything

you do, physical or anything else

it will spread into your life.

There are no limits

There are only plateaus

and you must not stay there

you must go beyond them....

Bruce Lee

Thankful
these words
are constantly said
to me..

Friday, March 17, 2017

Early Morning and In a Good Place

First thing this early morning
the computer is signed on and I see these words
and Memories arise.

Learning  From The Birds

I stand in the middle of perfection.

There is no on else around me.

The cries of the geese are beautiful

They hold only joy, not a trace of fear

Rick Bass
The Great Migration....

A busy time, small trips I have wanted to take being taken care of, much paper work sorted and some
changed along with thoughts continue,
It is all good....
He is patient with me, he sits still and listens, rarely corrects but when he does I listen.
His lifestyle of the last 20 years has taught him much and his mother is pleased with many simple
practices he devotes himself too.   During this short time together do not know if he realizes it
but I learn much from him.  My reading, yoga, healthy eating, times of stillness have once again begun  (My years of constant busyness and doing make thoughts arise of what have I really accomplished).

So this early morning begins with a smile on my face, peace in my heart and thankful for much.
Thankful for my daughter's and grand children and their lives.

Life continues as a  journey  of learning and growing even in these last years is teaching me much.    I
 Wish some issues were  different and would change over time  but have
learned to accept they are not my responsibility, when you do all you can with a good heart
that is really all you can do.     I am well aware over my lifetime I have had control over much, some I wanted no control over but it was handed to me.  I know longer want this control but thankful when it comes
to a lot of personal decisions and control I am still in control.

I love fresh herbs, miss my Basil, Rosemary and Chives that  I grow.    About a week ago
sprinkled some seeds in little pots and if the weather is ever stable they can be transferred
outside.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Waiting

Cold wind is blowing
another day of Winter
but not the heavy snow of some areas
just a few days ago it seemed like Spring.

It is still dark outside
I see lights in the distance
when I moved to this area 40 years ago
I saw no lights, just total darkness.

 I turn on my computer
to see if any news from California
where he landed last night.

On to Nashville where friend will pick him up
he will spend the night and my helper will pick him up in the morning
to bring him to the country cottage.

Yesterday morning
at the hospital
ultra sound on many areas
Gall Badder surgery 9 years ago
then a year later repair of hernia in that area.
once again something does not feel right.
This mentioned to doctor several times and nothing checked.

Thankful for specialist I mentioned it to
and a lot being checked
thought I was knowledgeable of this area
but guess not as I looked at images of what is packed in there.
Did not know the aorta came through that area.

Unsettled and will have results in a day or two.

Stir Fry has been requested for tomorrow's meal.
Made with vegetables and Shrimp
easy and healthy
always easy to please
but did say "no rice."

Seems it should be getting light
but not yet.

Been up a long time.....

I smile at the pictures sent of my youngest granddaughter's Birthday celebration

Sleep over for friends and in that home
they took over the den, blankets, pillows, and laughter through out the night.
Special girl, grandma loves this picture of a few years ago....

Jamie, you are probably still recovering :)



Saturday, March 11, 2017

This Is How I Communicate With My Family...

Yes, I share with family and those who read my words.

Snow early this morning, did not linger long

Young daughter a full day today and tomorrow.  They have been on the road with my my youngest
granddaughter's involving school activities,  One has a birthday tomorrow and some coming for
a sleep over tonight and here she is busy with a new job.   Everyone stays so busy but remember those
day's well with 5 children in the home and working.  Four I gave birth too and one that came with
her father, her mother had passed away when Mary was a baby.

Son's long trip over the ocean soon to begin and mom will not sleep for several nights praying
for her son's safety over the ocean.   I am so excited about seeing him.....
A big weather change from over 100 degree temperature to maybe snow when he arrives....

Late meal of Salmon, Asparagus and little Potato's, some blue that my Laurie introduced me too
and the last slice of Carrot Cake I ordered at Christmas.  A huge cake and last a long time
in the freezer.  The best I have ever tasted and a friend's daughter made it for me.


Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Sweet Peas a Memory Plant for my Grandmother

I remember this plant well
my paternal grandmother had them growing in her yard
always a bouquet on the table.

I think of them through the years and have never planted and now with smaller garden I have 3
bare trellises where roses did not grow these damp woods.

A thought
will look on Amazon and there they were



Just ordered......
They grow wild, the color pink on some of these country roads but this is a mixture of beautiful colors
and the description says they are fragrant.

So seeds  with special memories will be planted and also remember my father calling me
"sweet pea"
 when I was growing up
hated it as time went by.......

Strange as you age - so many memories surface.

Have never seen these plants a Lowe's.

Sunny, breezy day.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Ironing, Chicken Soup and Scarves

A drizzling all day rain, the kind of day I always liked to iron.   The pile is high in room soon to be son's room.   I cautiously head of the stairs to the loft area and begin to iron pillow cases and cloth napkins that if I take out of the dryer quickly can smooth nicely.   A stack that I left in the dryer too long
and I begin to press them.   Winter tops being put up and like scarves, heavy ones are folded neatly
and put in storage upstairs.  In the back of the drawer crumpled I come across 3 scarves.
Remember buying them in Jamaica over 40 years ago.   As I pressed them out they are over
6 ft long, so soft almost feel like silk and I notice the edges have all been stitched by hand, these are made by hand.    They look like tie dye
and my favorite is a Peach or Coral color.  I try and tell my children the stories of all that is in
this small home as almost everything has a story.   No one may be interested but to me all is
special. and bring back memories.    Trips to the ocean many times in the past and always wore scares on my hair, now
wear them around my neck most of the time it seems I stay chilly...
Made Chicken soup in the crock pot, starting at 6:00 AM  So good and more then half can go in freezer.


Wish my Jamie, with a family, so busy - was near where it could be shared with her.   Will put
several cartons in the freezer.

Monday, March 6, 2017

It Seems

I feel a little better and then it goes away,   Bad night and balance so bad and fear falling.
Told it would be worse as time goes on and just keep moving and doing and do not stop.
cane and walker near and new lower mattress arriving soon as just so difficult to get up
on this bed - I do it - but difficult.   Just do not like these extreme flares.

A day you do not feel like eating  or cooking and purchased several weeks ago for a time like this.

So had 1/2 of each and tolerable,  Burger would have been excellent with lettuce, tomato
and avocado, but not on hand at the moment.   Full of sodium, other ingredients healthy and
since only a banana and yogurt consumed at 7:00 - something needed in my stomach

Since freezer has been emptied of small cartons of home made soup I have put some chicken
thighs out defrost and in the morning will make chicken soup in the crock pot.

Early this morning met the nicest young woman, an immediate bond.  My cousin recommended her
as she does dog grooming and she works part time at Cracker Barrel, where he eats and helps with her mother in law
who has health issues.
A plus as she lives close by.....

Callie, usually runs the other way when a groomer arrives.  Not this time, she loved Heather,
I like her name, beautiful kind young woman and I never let Callie ride in my car with me
always take her places in the old  truck.
Off they go in her car, window down, Callie with her head out the window and she surely is spoiled now.    Callie done beautiful - looks like a show dog.

I am blessed as Heather shared that if she is free on days off she can go with me on errands if I feel uncomfortable.    I may need her sooner then I anticipated.

Heather, thank you so much for your kindness
this early morning.   I think Callie would go live with you :)

Early morning viewing
a Bluebird going into birdhouse :)
and a few blooms arriving

A beginning.....