hoe the small garden,
plant an Apple tree.
I want to clean the pantry,
defrost the freezer in the garage,
clean the refrigerator,
and wash windows.
I want to sit on the terrace and
watch the yellow Finch at the bird feeders,
I want to sit on the deck in the lounge chair
enjoying the warmth of the Fall sun.
I want to sit on the screen porch
Sit on the swing
swaying back and forth
with an empty mind.
I want to walk in the woods and enjoy
the sight of the leaves with their
Fall colors.
I dream of a wood burning stove like past years.
Could close in the deck or screen porch.
Or even turn garage into library with my
books, fire blazing and wall of glass to
view the woods.
Well aware of work and energy involved.
and not in my budget,
give up the idea
but dream on.
I would like another raised vegetable bed,
very aware all I need can grow in my present
one.
Past years of creating and the mind is not
where the body is. The mind rambles on
and the heart tells me the body cannot
keep up with your mind
and I realize - nothing is the same.
I want to sit and read the growing stack
of books by the old leather chair.
They will wait for cooler Fall and Winter inside days.
I want to watch the movie
that has been sitting on the table for several days.
I want to learn not to respond to request so easily.
A special group met in this cottage last night.
Past my bedtime we shared.
I learned nothing new and I am
drawn to quiet and alone evening times.
So weary this morning that I was in bed several
hours past my usual time of getting up.
So I wonder
why last night
did I say
"my cottage is available anytime for these special gatherings?"
Surely at this stage of life
I should have learned
to think before I speak....
9 comments:
I do the same. Volunteer for some activity and mark my calendar and then wonder why I have filled the week so much. Why I have not learned to keep mouth shut!
Oh - at times trying not to be a total hermit. But unless it is someone with similar interest I am better off alone. I probably am very dull - but happy :) Also would enjoy company where we can just sit or walk and be silent.
I've been there before. I make plans way ahead and then the day before...wonder why did I do this?
Sometimes I make myself do things and then later find out, to my surprise, that I enjoyed myself.In my youth I never gave it a second thought. I guess it's one of those changes that happens as we age. I always think....It's just one day out of my life..
Balisha
May your wants come to pass.....somehow the small corner wood burning stove. sigh....i understand your wants perfectly.
It is my opinion you do extremely well. Growing so much of your own food and creating tasty healthy meals.
you are happy, this is enough.
This post reads like a poem, the stanzas of your life. I thought the other day of who my role models are for aging gracefully... you and my dear friend in town [she is 79] came to mind. You both love the outdoors, your canine companions, and quiet times. I think you can politely decline to host an evening when you would rather be alone ~ it's okay to put ourselves first.
Balisha and Sandy, thank you.
Sharon, what a compliment - thank you...
Ah, Ernestine, creating is at the heart of our lives, and I know you have an irrepressible spirit, thus, these plans keep entering your thought process. You'll find a way to continue that is attainable and satisfying, I am sure.
Your need for quiet evenings is understood, so well. I am the same. Scheduling of events is very selective in my life now.
Wish I were there to walk on your path with you and sit on the porch. So beautiful.
Such a different want list from most, but I can relate to it. I think you have happiness figured out.
Sandy and Mary, thank you - yes at this stage of life this is my want list - forgot "good health"
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