Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Be Still My Heart

My evening meal of filet mignon
fresh mushrooms
baked potato and small salad

Wonderful
even a flickering candle on the long table
and small glass of wine
diluted :) because of dry mouth

You are dressed in the oldest slacks
light sweater (since it is raining)
and bare foot
like you always are in this cottage.

I smiled and thought
years ago  meals like this were common,
a shrimp cocktail, steak
 sometimes with lobster,
dressed in the latest fashion and
many a compliment received.
 You could hear the ocean sounds
on some of your travels
and sometimes you would dance
and it would "sometimes" be a wonderful evening.
You remember rum raisin ice cream and  have thoughts
of trying to  reproduce.  Think raisins need to be soaked in rum
and mix in vanilla ice cream.
Need to buy a small bottle of rum
maybe like airlines use.

Now you eat vegetables you grow, salmon, yogurt,
lots of fresh fruit, lots of healthy,
simpler food and you like your homemade deserts best.

Thoughts - I need to do this once a month
may need extra protein from meat

Prepared to think it would not be the quality meat it should be
but you were given a gift
it was so good.

Almost as nice as sitting in an upscale restaurant, white table cloth and napkin
and someone special sitting across from you
or memories  when single again in my 40's of sitting across from someone and thinking
"why am I here with you?)
So good at this time of life not to need company, just for company's sake, enjoying life,
at peace, happy - just wish health was like it was in the past.
Wish also that I did not take remarks from someone who is not happy so seriously.

So, this is a good time.
A time of freedom and
liking myself and enjoying my own company.
Sure took a long time
like almost the end of your 70 years.
But so nice
it did arrive......

Wish past thoughts of so much that happened in this lifetime
did not surface
but thankful it is becoming less and less.

Felt guilty with this wonderful steak and Callie eating dry dog food
so did give her a bite :)

I have rambled on
long enough
it is the end of another day
and will post this in the morning....

8 comments:

Cape Cod Kitty said...

I just LOVE this post, Ernestine. There is a sweet lilt to your words and I am so happy you had that nice dinner. I forget too often that I need to eat red meat once in awhile. I am fortunate to be able to get very high quality beef at my local market. I loved those fancy dinners out of yore....
Alas, back to my green smoothies and piles of veggies!

Judy said...

I ate red meat almost every day and now mostly salads and fresh fruit. What has happened to me? LOL I do have a gift card to OutBack Steak House and I think I need to go and get a med rare filet mignon, a baked potato with lots of butter. I fear I am not getting enough protein now. Just cannot afford to buy meat anymore, but think I am healthier for my new eating habits. Have a wonderful day!!

Balisha said...

We treated ourselves to filets just last week. Joe prefers a rib eye, but I love filet mignon.We, like you, had all the trimmings.

I'm in a different situation than you. I have found that there are so many benefits in marriage. I was lucky to find someone who I can share my interests with and learn new things together.Being in a healthy marriage doesn't change who you are...it should add to your personality and never take away from it.I had a life alone and now with Joe...I feel lucky that we found each other.

I'm so happy for you that you are at peace with your life at Woodhaven.Enjoy your day today.
Balisha






Mary @ Colony Mountain Folk Art Dolls said...

A wonderful post...love your ramblings. While I do enjoy bloggers who post lots of pictures, I really enjoy best the ones who write, and write from the heart.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Marcia, Judy, Mary, thank you for enjoying my rambling.
And Dear Balisha, I am so happy for you having a wonderful new late in life mate. God is Good :)

Sharon said...

Ernestine, this post glows with peaceful contentment. You sound happy.

Wisewebwoman said...

I do as you do at times.
And summon up the ones who have passed and imagine them across the table from me.
I may be insane.
But it's a lovely feeling remembering some good times.
I love your post.
XO
WWW

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Sharon, thank you :)
WWW, oh my - I do the same thing
and it is so nice to have a
vivid imagination.
Have a wonderful day to both of you...