58 Is So Young

I remember well the early evening of years ago .
We were on our way out to dinner
several miles from our farm at that time.

Heard the siren of the ambulance
as we pulled over to the side of the road.

I told my husband
to turn around and follow it.

He shook his head
as I said "if it turns on their road I know it is my father."

He muttered some words thinking I was wrong.
The car was turned around and
the ambulance continued as we followed behind
as it turned on their street.

As the car pulled into
the drive
I opened the car door with the car still moving.

My father had died of a massive heart attack.
It was his third and the longer life has gone on
I  realize how 58 years is so young.

My father's father died of an accident when he was 12 years old.
He was the second oldest and had 5 sisters.  Helped his mother at this young age
 by working as a caddy in the local park and later in a restaurant.

He was a hard worker and the relationship I needed and desired as I grew up was
not there until his last years.  I remember well my much loved grandmother telling
him to be kinder to me.

I was out of school and working at age 17
in the corporate office of one of our major car manufacturers in Michigan.
My associates were much different then those of my father at that time.
By the world's standard they were achievers with high incomes.
He was very proud of me and at the same time there may have been some envy.
I did not understand and it caused me a lot of sadness.

I realize now that doors he desired never opened for him and at a young age
they did  for me.

With marriage a young couple was the American dream come true.
With hard work and thriving  economy at that time afforded us business opportunities
that those in my family and my mates did not experience. 

I look back and realize that being able to live a number of different lifestyles
has made me who I am.  I have sat on the creek bank eating a hot dog with my workers
and have had dinner in the Governor's mansion.   Love to garden in my old worn clothes
and at one time wore designer clothes.   None of this makes any differance to me and feel
comfortable with all.   At this time love my old clothes with my hoe in hand
 and have no desire for anything else.   I might add - just my health...

Achievements many times cause jealousy in families.  I seemed to
experience a lot of this towards me at a young age and even through my
adult years and some I even recognize now.

In my younger years so much I did not understand
and still do not.
As time goes by I try very hard to
 accept others as they are and try  not try to figure out why.  

He loved and enjoyed my children so very much. 
  During his last weeks Jamie had just learned to walk and
the memory is always there of how he would place the hat he wore on her little head
as she walked to him.

He was born on June 13th and if he was living today
he would be 100 years old and my mother would be 95.

On their wedding day
ages 17 and 23....