Phone rang at 7:00
just like he informed me he would call.
I am always informed and the phone rings as the clock strikes 7:00 AM.
My sharing goes nonstop to the special son
who always listens, never scolds me or interrupts.
I feel so free when I talk to him.
A moment ago I wrote him an email he will receive tonight, his morning and as his mama goes to bed. So ashamed as I share some of what I still want (as my doctor told me - make a list and my list so few) , my fears, questioning of these last years.
No one likes me to say "last years" but they are. Well aware that very few years are left and time is going by at an accelerated speed. I apologised to my son and do not need to do this ever again.
I am happy, at peace but still question much.
Normal or not
I do not know
and at the moment
do not care....
Conversation finished, quick breakfast of fruit, yogurt, green tea, zucchini bread and out the door
for a quick trip to local small town. This town is 8 miles away, love how I can navigate quickly
as I know all the shortcuts and go when traffic is low. Hospital stop for blood work. Began seeing a new doctor Monday and it was difficult to start over, but left her feeling so uplifted as she is an internist and familiar with the inflammatory problem I have. It was so good to leave her office
feeling I have made a good decision. This one finally taking new patients as I had tried earlier times
to have her as my primary but could not.
On for a quick grocery stop and I know I am positive there will be a very small garden next year, even if in pots - as two very small yellow squash $1.50. Along with bokchow, broccoli, carrots, celery and anything else I want to put in the pan it will make stirfy this evening with an addition of shrimp. Also some holiday Peppermint ice cream and huge chocolate chip cookies (that I devoured 2 with milk on arriving home.)
Post office stop and stopped at a new Dairy Queen that opened this morning. Bright red umbrellas
over shiny black tables surrounded the store as you made your entrance. This in no way is my regular
kind of eating but did it anyway (probably to the horrors of some health ones in the family)
A chili dog, onion rings (delicious and probably because it was opening morning - maybe not :)
I sat in the sun as people passed by, some smiling and I wonder if the special attention I receive lately is because of my cane and I realize I usually have a smile on my face - anyway I like it as doors are opened and even my grocery cart is returned to store. Guess it does not take much to make me happy this morning or really most times. I have grown to expect so little from others but still expect more from my children then I should - ashamed of this as everyone has busy lives and are not near.
Returning home down my wonderful winding country road come upon a road block as I viewed about 50 people, cameras
that were filming a country music video. Memories surfaced of about 15 years ago when living in the old farm house that was done. Very emotional about much going on surrounding and inside that much loved home and remember well the words of my 2 youngest
"mama, treat this as an adventure." Now many years later I can and smile about it.
So home, cool but sun is shining, Callie runs to meet me, groceries unloaded and I think
How very thankful I am for my surroundings of these peaceful nature filled fields and woods.
Hopefully I will never have to leave
and do not know if I ever can leave.....
always had a occasional thought that there might be one somewhere in my lifetime who would love these surroundings
like I do. Then I have grown so comfortable being alone and with my own schedule
that I probably would not be good company for anyone.