Monday, December 6, 2010

Undisciplined - Obsession - Addict

This morning as I type away it is snowing big beautiful flakes and 18 degrees on my deck.

Also, this was another morning of not being able to access what I now deem important in my life - my computer.

I almost had a panic attack.

Computer was back running yesterday after 96 hours of being gone from my world.

Now - I am trying to figure this out.

I have led a super busy life.

Moved back to the country, built a small cottage at the edge of the woods to fulfill my dream of simplicity, gardening, photography, reading, to practice mindfulness, and at times be able to just sit and be.

In my cottage - now 1 year. All has fallen neatly in place. My city home sold last June and I am so very thankful for this miracle in view of what is going on in the world.

I have begun daily to look forward to comments (on what I share) regarding what is going on in my world and on my mind.

There are blogs I read daily and leave a comment. Some I read and do not comment.

I would start naming those who correspond regularly and have become so special - but fear I might leave someone out.

I read the news and the weather.

My children email me on and off during the day instead of using the telephone. I did 98% of my downscaled Christmas shopping online. Any question is immediately answered online.

Such joy is found in downloading an image that was just taken. If it is good, I smile and it is like I have been given a gift.

Confession - for 96 hours I looked at my computer and willed it to come back on :) I wept, walked the floors and was really "sad"

It was ever present on my mind that I moved far away from "help" - from family. But this is where I want to be unless something happens that I cannot live in this world by the woods.

Thoughts - those who have become special to me online - do not know it - do not know how to contact me - I do not know how to contact them - if I enter their mind - some might wonder why I am not writing, they may think I am sick, died or whatever.

Thoughts - what would I do if I did not have a computer in my life at this time - this is a ridiculous statement. I only entered the computer world about 6 years ago. I seemed to be fine without a computer. Answer - I was busy with worldly projects that do not exist at this time.

So - maybe I am not a good computer person. It is evident I have become to attached to this machine that sits on my desk, in front of a window that has a beautiful view of the woods.

Am I - undisciplined, obsessed with this machine and an addict? It seems sometimes I hear it calling for me :)

Some rambling and sharing from One Woman who lives at the edge of the woods and is still trying in her last years to figure out life ........

12 comments:

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I think anyone who blogs can become obsessed with the online community (I must admit I LOVE my iPhone and constantly check my email so I can't profess to being much more disciplined.) Also? I am on Twitter and Facebook so be thankful you're not into that as well! They are great for community but can also be a needless time waster so I make sure I turn off my laptop at night.

As long as you have balance in your life and plenty of interaction with friends and family in real life you will be fine.

But it's not worth a panic attack! It just seems like the end of the world when we're cut off from the Internet. ;)

One Woman's Journey said...

I cannot figure out how people who blog can do facebook and all those other things. But then I like to garden and run the vacuum :)
Also just hope I can get out of the computer chair without using a cane. There are not enough hours in the day for your mom and at this stage in life I have no time to waste - but then you are so young and talented and mom has turned into one of the elderly..

Ugich Konitari said...

The lady of Woodhaven
is a
Green Computer
herself;

Amazing knowledge
on the
mind whirring
hard disks,
on everything
and how to green it....
gardens, houses, recipes....

So many inputs
into her own green land
rich in
ideas, grasses,
her own veggies
and beautiful flowers...

So many outputs
clamouring for attention,
clearing her thoughts
like the clearing she makes
in the woods,
Callie alongside,
the wonderful soups
on the stoves,
and the fun times
for the granddaughters
on a Thanksgiving visit.


The machine on the desk
can learn
from the Green Computer.

Its not so clever
to only handle
o' and 1's......

Like the Green Computer
of Woodhaven,
you must be able
to play
with all those
fun fractions
in between...........

One Woman's Journey said...

Suranga, your poem makes me sound so talented - yet I could not turn on my computer. Thank you for your kind words - from far over the ocean.

Cape Cod Kitty said...

E,
I am thinking you must have gotten caught in the latest Comcast failure. It hit the North East last weekend and then your area this past weekend and was slowly resolving this morning. I hope that is all it was and not your computer.
We all really look forward to checking in with our on-line friends and it is an adjustment to be cut-off.
Glad you are back, dear friend.

the wild magnolia said...

I think you are a pretty normal blogger.

You are doing your normal daily doings and have added one more, the computer.

Shopping online is so much easier.

Wishing you blessings.

Tabor said...

I have quite a bit of experience with computers and worked on web pages at my former job. I also need these to keep in touch with my children as only one of them calls! Anyway, I also have problems with computers that I cannot solve. In most instances it is the Internet provider although they will NEVER admit that unless they are in an undeniable position.

Balisha said...

I'm afraid that I can't help you with computer problems.I like to figure things out for myself, but when I'm stumped...I call on Joe or my kids.I haven't a lot of patience when things go wrong. Just last week I fretted for a couple of days about the background on my blog. I was having trouble installing a new one...so I can imagine your frustration.
Just know that we all have problems with these "new fangled" things from time to time.Even the experts. You're not alone...Hugs...Balisha

shannon said...

I am so glad you are back, I was beginning to worry about you,isn't that funny how attached we get!

We have never met,but I so look forward to your musings:)

I think I am an addict to this blogging thing, have just gotten on board in the last few months.

I have quit vacuuming, I do not have time now!! LO

Beverly said...

You know, I think it is our connection with the outside world from a safe distance. We can visit friends, go shopping, calm our mind, watch a funny video, or listen to music. I am also attached to Facebook....I find out the news....the news of my work friends, old friends from high school (so don't even start)
I think you know my address....write me if the computer goes off for too long.....

Annie said...

It is a bit scary to find out how dependent one has become on such a fragile bit of technology. Most of us could not live the way you do without that technology, it keeps us from being too isolated while still able to enjoy the solitude and beauty of nature. But I guess all life is like that, we take it for granted but really it is quite fragile and we often don't appreciate it until faced with the loss of it. In that sense we are all addicts.

One Woman's Journey said...

Marcia, WM, Tabor, Balisha and Shannon, thanks for comments that are comforting.
Beverly, you are right on what you share - but facebook - no time for that. What I do is enough.
Annie, you lead such an exciting life. Guess I am content here in the woods - but sometimes I have thoughts of getting on the road like you :)