I think in the past the thought was once my children were out of school and on their own that
my concern level would be less. Guess years ago I forgot about grandchildren that would arrive as time went on. I have become aware there is continual concern.
Also take my responsibility as matriarch in this family - seriously.
Still miss my grandmother and mother's concern and encouragement directed to me.
One grandson is beginning an internship in Washington DC and lodging with roommates
investigation is going on.
Talented granddaughter in N.Y. city has the same issue going on. Her future is in the
vegan world in a big city I am not familiar with. Also the prices that I am accustom to in my
small town and world do not exist in those big cities.I find this unsettling and exciting at the same time.
Other issues going on and since I do not want to embarrass my children or grandchildren
and they sometimes read mama/grandma's diary - I will not share.
Little grandgirls beginning school in a few days, my thoughts it is so unusually hot and with
their sport activities this will be a concern. Also where two have been together they will be separated.
Also on my continual concern list are special people that are healing, one lost almost 1/3 of her weight because she had a diabetic attack. Another scheduled for
brain surgery next week and another continues to work with around the clock help for one
that she will not turn over to hospice.
So, with all of this on my mind, surely should not be concerned over the wet soil, molding gardens and many branches still need to be picked up and do not like making the continual stacks of old wood
even though they are good for the wildlife. Do not feel comfortable burning this old wood.
Life is good and continues the way it is suppose to,
nothing remains the same,
and I keep the hint of a smile on my face.
The smile is something I learned from Buddhist philosophy. It is good to welcome each new day with this practice. Seems to be relaxing and others
respond favorable to One Woman with this smile.
"Father I seek your face
Believe your word
and trust your grace"
Words that just seem to come automatically out of my mouth
as thoughts of each special one surface.
Words from an old favorite hymn "Sweet Hour of Prayer."
15 comments:
The majority of the blogs I follow tend to be about women much like myself who enjoy their solitude. They write about their gardens, their families, their hopes and the excitement (and sometimes the tragedies) of nature. Your woods are a refuge from the madding crowd, you smile never fades (even when it’s just a hint), your faith is strong.
Lynn, all is fine - just a lot on my plate at this time. Then - there
has always been a lot on my plate.
Just thought at this time in life
it might be a little different.
But with children, grandchildren and friends - there is always something going on. That is life...
That is life...you are so correct. We cannot protect those who follow us form pain, bad decisions or tragedies. Following a Buddhist culture, you know that. We do what we can and then we return to the moment that is ours and for which we have a little control. We will always worry about those who follow us the same way those before worried when we were living our lives. It is just the way it is. You are a strong matriarch and I think that it is harder on people like you...and perhaps me?
Tabor, you are so kind with your words and so wise.
Wish you lived next door - but then it is better I am alone where I can cry out in the woods - in person I am private - on my blog I am not as private. Love you...
you are such a joy.
i never knew the Buddhist tradition of smiling. however, i must share, the last year especially, i have felt the desire to smile. never used to smile in picture, well now, i smile as big as the world. smiles look good at me and send a positive message.
i love that u share this, and the prayer words from the old hymn.
children are always children, with grands it is the same.your candid sharing is a help to us all.
happy evening of all good things. i treasure you as a dear friend. ((hugs)) and love.
Dear Sandy, thank you. I am reading of your travels but do not comment often. A special time of life you are experiencing. Your words are smiling words...
Thank you for calling by again.
I too worry continually about my offspring (children and grandchildren), it never fades even when they are adults, it is probably worse because there is no longer the 'control' that you had as a mother and the children were young.
On the plus side I have learned about the Buddhist (daily) smile and that is something good to copy.
Cate, thank you for visiting and you are so right on the control issue. Mom no longer has control over anything - except herself.
Guess that is all I can handle at this time of life :)
I love your blog, it is so calming to read, unlike some blogs which are frenetic with their comings and goings of every day life. I looked at your profile, and some of it could have been written by me... we share the same books, the same music (Josh Groban makes the hairs on the back of neck tingle when he sings)and like you, I appreciate solitude. I only manage a little true solitude, when my husband is at work a few days a week, but I truly treasure those days. Not much good at meditating, but able to sit quietly for the longest time some days, just looking out at the garden, watching the birds, enjoying the short bursts of silence.
Thank you for a peaceful read.
When I am concerned about things out of my control...I try to get those concerns out of my mind and that's when I write down a few things that I am grateful for... about that particular subject. A gratitude journal of sorts.It isn't really in book form...sometimes just on a scrap of paper.
I got some good advice years ago..."Let go and let God." It has helped me countless times.
Balisha
Maggie, thank you for visiting.
Like your book list.
Balisha, I am so similar to you, count my many blessings and the older I become much I cannot control. Thank you for your friendship.
Thoughts of our children and grandchildren are with us forever, whatever their age, I find. We long to protect them from all that might be potentially harmful, yet we know they, too, must learn from experience -- but if only we could just take the edge off a bit. Then, there are the joys when all goes well.
I think, particularly as we age, we encounter an increasing number of instances with others for whom we care experiencing health issues, even death -- giving us great concern for the well-being of the living and sorrow for those taken from us. All the more reason why we must find moments of enjoyment each day and maybe whole days of joy. I wish you joy and laughter.
joared, thank you for visiting and all you shared is so very true...
"Be not dismayed whate'er betide, God will take care of you;
Beneath his wings of love abide,
God will take care of you. God will take care of you, through every day, or all the way...." I seem to sing or hum this one a lot.
When concern comes to mind, I say the lovingkindness prayer I learned from Jan Lundy:
May you be safe
May your be healthy and strong
May you be happy
May you be peaceful and at ease.
It helps me and, I believe, those I love, too.
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