Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Blue Eyes

Her youngest daughter was out of college and now living in a nearby city. Her mother was enjoying an entry back into the career world. Many asked how did she secure such a position. She was approached and it was offered to her. Community events, training employees and some public speaking. Never in past years would she attempted standing in front of people with a presentation, but at this stage of life it did not phase her. The position lasted about 2 years but it got her back out into the world for a short time.
She was making her early morning inspection of stores. She noticed him for several days,
sitting by the window. The saddest expression she had ever seen on someones face.
She usually did not offer to freshen a customer's coffee, the shop was almost empty and she approached him.
He looked at her and she saw the most beautiful blue eyes that she had ever seen.
A slightly built older man with sad blue eyes. He smiled and said thank you.
In a few days she noticed him again. She once again approached him with fresh coffee.
A conversation started. She learned that he had lost his wife not many months before.
What sparks that deep compassion for someone when you really do not know them or their story?
A friendship developed and he was always special to her. He often told her that he was so depressed when she approached him and that she saved his life by reaching out to him. She adored him. Not the adoration of someone that she would marry. But a love that just came out of her heart and there was a tenderness towards him. Almost maternal.
At times she would hear a comment of "why do you enjoy that older man's company"?
She just did.
Much was shared over the years. She would listen and encourage him when he had struggles. He would listen to her. She was with him through several surgeries and she could have dinner with him and hardly utter a word and all was well.
She watched him come out of his deep grief and once again begin to make a life for himself. Interest she really did not share. She smiled at his popularity with the older women and would tease him about it.
He never forgot her birthday, Christmas or what he called their anniversary of the time she poured him a cup of coffee. She misses him. They were always a phone call away from one another. He passed away this year.

So special friend you are not near, but you are never forgotten.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts.

Friendship needs no words

Monday, December 29, 2008

New Horizon

I am not one to pay much attention to horoscopes. I seldom read them but with an extra minute on hand I clicked on my birth date.
Oh my, this sounds good, especially since I have a number of creative thoughts going through my mind. Wonder if this is just teasing me.

It's hard to understand where your inspiration comes from now, yet it is like a fresh wind blowing in a new season. Your muse may be leading you on to manifest something of great beauty, however she is speaking in an alien tongue, making it a challenge for you to use the material. No matter how odd it seems, try to take the ideas that come to you and work them into what you create.

This may be too much for this One Woman to take in at this late stage of her continued journey

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Surprise in the City


Surprising what you can capture with your camera, standing in the middle of a city street. I rushed out without my shoes - in my socks. Lucky a car did not turn the corner. Went back outside 20 minutes later for the first image. Guess there is some beauty on this city lot.
A warm December 28, 2008 - 50 degrees.
From One Woman this warm December evening.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas 2008



Thank you my two youngest granddaughters for letting grandma see some of the joy and wonder of Christmas through your eyes.
Love, Grandma

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Goats



She was truly enjoying her dream life. The beautiful old farm home, gardening, animals and a swing on the porch. We had chickens. Enjoyed the fresh eggs and even had thought of how good they would taste. But we made pets of everything and no way could we eat them. Her young daughter had named every chicken. Looking through papers a list is dated 1980. Mary Ann, Gertrude, Henrieta, Andrew Sisters, Elizabeth, Lavina, Laverne, Shirley, Brenda and Eleanor. Every chicken has a description. Will not go into that.
Also found a list of chores and scale of pay. Feed chickens and dogs 10 cents, help in kitchen 10 cents, vacuum, dust and mop 10 cents, practice piano 15 cents, feed horse when necessary 10 cents, anything else 10 cents.
We had everything we wanted but some goats. We talked about it often. One day on the way to the store we were at the stop sign before pulling onto highway. To our amazement a big truck just went by and it was filled with goats. She pulled out behind it and another surprise as it stopped about a mile down the road at a small country store. She pulled up, parked and went inside to talk to the driver. A deal was made that he would follow her and put 4 goats in the barn. They were put in a stall and it was secured tightly. Oh she and her daughter were so excited, they had goats. Thoughts of putting them on a rope and letting them clear some of the wooded area.
The next morning right at dawn she excitedly went out to see her goats. They were gone.
Where did they go? Nothing was disturbed. A puzzle all through the years.
Sometimes a neighbor would tease her that some goats were seen several miles away, running in the fields. She was also told that someone had a barbecue and how delicious the goat was.
Two thoughts - they just got out and kept running. Another thought that the owner came back and took them. Hey maybe they were barbecued. Mystery still unsolved.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve - 2008


The memories come flooding into her mind. Christmas season in the past was filled with the endless shopping, baking, picking out just the right gift and hiding them so they would be a surprise.
Stacks of cards sent and many letters written as it seemed a special time to get in touch with those who were special. Many of those special ones had not been seen in years but they came to mind at this time of the year. The endless decorating the house inside and out. Special candle light Christmas Eve service at church. The beautiful hymns and the Lords Supper. A special time of reflection into the past, present and future. The children so excited they could hardly sleep and then Christmas morning everyone was up at dawn. Really special if it was snowing.
The excitement of the gifts everyone would receive and she would always receive something so special from the father of her children. Gifts at that time for a lifestyle at a different time in her life. Now her life is so much simpler and that type of gift would have no appeal.
A special big breakfast was made. A southern breakfast. She scrambled a dozen or more eggs, sausage, bacon and ham, biscuits and milk gravy. Usually banana bread or pumpkin bread, a coffee cake and special jams and jelly's that had been made the summer before. Coffee, tea and juice for everyone to help themselves. Oh the smells of Christmas breakfast. Later in the day more family and sometimes some friends of the children would arrive. Then the big dinner of turkey, dressing, scalloped oysters (my son's favorite) several kinds of vegetables (some from the freezer of summer freezing, corn and green beans) and a relish tray filled with stuffed celery. At one time her homemade yeast rolls and sour dough bread. Then on to the desert of jam cake, sour cream pound cake and every one's favorite chocolate fudge cake. Along with tea, coffee, wine and eggnog on a sideboard.
She cannot remember all that was prepared but these she remembers this cold rainy morning.
She remembers the endless pictures being taken and the movie camera that dad used continually.
She remembers with a thankful heart and tears. She is amazed at how fast the years have gone by. Some children and grandchildren near and some far away. She wonders if they remember the family times in the past.

Now there is a special meal during the holidays for her family and then on to her youngest daughter on Christmas day to view the excitement of those two special little ones. Three and six years old is such a special and magical time for them. They run and and hug her and usually say "grandma I love you" sometime during this visit. The sentiment and hug bless her. Guess she misses the hugs of life so much.
She has so much to be thankful for. There is much with some members of family that she wishes was different. They view her as very strong, self sufficient and not needy. She is this and a rich life has been given her. A life of little and a life of much and now a life of desired simplicity. But in these last years the love and the contact with her are the priceless gifts that can be given to her.
So another Christmas Eve and she has thoughts of what her continued journey through this life has to offer.
She smiles to herself for all is well in her heart, mind and soul. What more could you ask for then this.
One wish for all to be together once again on a Christmas morning.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Mourning Dove


When I look out my kitchen window there are about a dozen mourning doves. Why is it that when I see them I have a sense of peace.
They are so gentle, soft and innocent looking. I love their call during nesting season.
After my mother passed away there was a dove that stayed outside my bedroom window for months. Many thoughts came to mind. One thought continually came to mind, she was sending me Peace.
I can remember when I lived in the country and in the fall there would be dove hunts. This truly saddened me.

A thought this early morning from One Woman on her Journey Through This Life.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Shoes

Arriving home from school she saw the box. There was usually a box about once a year. Her grandmother would send them.
Hand me down clothes that she was thrilled to wear. They were usually much nicer then what mom could buy. Or rather more expensive.
She spotted the shoes. Oh they were beautiful. She would usually have a pair of shoes purchased for her once a year. Such a narrow foot and only some kind of not very pretty oxford that laced up. Oh these shoes were beautiful. She tried them on and they were a little big but that did not matter. She stuffed paper in the toes and proudly wore them to school the next day.
She was so proud of them. The first comment from a classmate "those shoes are too big for you." She quickly replied "oh no - they fit just fine." She kept a smile on her face throughout the school day.
But the comment saddened her, she cried all the way home from school that day and never wore the shoes again.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Winter Night

A snowy evening. Cuisine perfect in a restaurant that looked like a log cabin. Roaring fire, candles on the tables and soft music in the background. A glass of wine, salad and her favorite crab stuffed shrimp was set in front of her. In many ways it became a night to remember. She was young, a career and no lack of interested beaus . Here she was on another date just to fill time. A boring time. She vowed never to spend any more evenings like this.
Trip to to restroom and a waitress appeared sharing that someone quite well known would like to meet her. A stranger she would not consider. After several episodes like this a phone number was shared. It was shared with the thought that this individual, whoever he was could easily be rejected.
A week later on an evening with this stranger in the same setting - it was magical. As the evening ended and the car pulled out with the soft snow falling he held her hand. At the moment she would have gone anywhere with him and he felt the same. The beginning of love in youth is magical. Many times it does not last. Then it is good that we all grow up.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Dr. Jeff


After my youngest daughter Jamie graduated from college and was no longer living at home I kept having thoughts of leaving the old farm house.
I loved it but the upkeep was tremendous for One Woman. A home that is over 100 years old always has something to be done to it. Also the size of the home was large and I began to feel like I needed something smaller.
When I started the country lifestyle I vowed not to be so fussy and let things look more natural.
Guess that is not me. I was constantly grooming, painting and cutting grass. Had a garden, raised animals and everything that went with that lifestyle and I never caught up.

I had mentioned to several people that I was thinking of making a change.
This was the only home I have truly love and I lived there longer then anywhere else in my lifetime. It was the first home that was mine alone. A home that came into my life at a time when I began a new lifestyle. A home that I totally remodeled, added additions, and groomed. A home where I healed, where my youngest daughter was raised, and family and older grandchildren frequently visited. A home where there came a time that I felt in my heart it was the time to move on and not look back. There was a grieving period but I can say with all honesty that I did move on. I have continually had a bond with the land surrounding that home. A bond that will not go away and I guess that is why in my later years I hunger for the land that came into my life over 30 years ago.
This home was not on the market but one day a neighbor who was in the real estate business came by to see me. She asked if she could bring someone by to see it and I agreed.
You cannot help but love Dr. Jeff. He surely is in the right profession of being a doctor with his compassionate and warm nature.
He walked in the door, all way over 6 ft and inches of him.
This was an advantage since he was a former basketball star at Vanderbilt University in Nashville.
Anyway with his big smile and kind nature I was immediately drawn to him.
To this day I cannot think of him without a smile coming to my face. Also with thankfulness for the help he would give me for my many poison ivy woes.
The old home with the high ceilings and the new part I had added with a vaulted ceiling were perfect for him. He did not have to bend over to go through the doors. I think the size of the rooms and ceiling height offered him a freedom that other homes might not have. There was a barn for horses and a pond behind the barn.
Several trips to continue looking at house and when his wife returned from a trip she joined him in looking at my much loved old home.
I knew they were drawn to the home and I have always felt a peace in my heart that they would live there and finish raising their two sons in that home.
This is one of the neighbors nearby as I venture out more often to the country.

One more memory this early morning from This Woman on Her Journey Through This Life.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice marks the shortest day and longest night of the year. Arriving this December 21st.
These short days and long nights should be a time of semi-hibernation, a time for One Woman to rest and rejuvenate. I am staying inside more but I have not slowed my mind and body.
I do not like the restlessness that I am experiencing. Wonder if anyone else is like this? It may have something to do with the holiday season. I am doing less this year then ever before and I like it. I would like to curl up in my chair in front of the fire with a cup of tea and read all day. This has not happened. How can One Woman find such endless activities as morning yoga, meditation, cleaning, cooking, washing, errands, writing, phone rings and a quick bite to eat and the day is gone.
Maybe my time by the fire with book in hand will happen in the next several months before Spring starts surfacing. I surely hope so.

It seems I hear a voice speaking to my heart and it is saying "what do you intend to do with the rest of your life". I want to answer " at the moment I do not know for sure but I have a pretty good idea". I do know I am increasingly aware how limited my time on this earth is from now on.

If we had no winter, the Spring would not be so pleasant.
Anne Bradstreet

Friday, December 12, 2008

My Encourager

Ellen Collins born October 24th, l886 - Parents - Sarah Jane Collins and William Nealy Collins
Married - William Lee Nolen - October 18, 1908 - Parents - William Nolen Sr. and Rebecca Jane
My maternal grandmother "Ma." I believe I was the only grandchild that called her this.
I reach out in love to her with all my heart - this early morning. I reach out with a child and grown woman's heart. Oh how she would have loved my children and grandchildren.
She was left a widow in her early 30s and had 6 children. She moved from her home and built a smaller one (maybe where some of my creative energy comes from). She never drove a car, had a washing machine, central air and heat, and so many items we have in our homes now that we take for granted.
Will not go into all of the stories. She passed away at the age of 81. I cannot think of her without my eyes filling with tears and a deep sense of gratitude for all of the encouragement and love she gave me through her lifetime. I do not remember ever receiving a written card from her (or I would have saved it) or a gift. But she gave me the best gift of all "love".

She loved me in a way that no one else has ever loved me. My parents were young. Mother 17 years old when she married. Now that is a child in my eyes. As I grew older and more mature (which took a while) I realized that I expected something in my childhood that was just not there.
I spent my happiest times with this grandmother. There was always encouragment. My parents relocated to Detroit to work when I was a toddler. I was raised in apartments and my grandmother would come to Detroit and take me home with her. Also when my parents went to Nashville during the summer they would sometimes leave me with my grandmother. I can remember running and hiding at departing time as I did not want to go home with my parents. I wanted to stay with my grandmother. What wonderful memories. Times at my aunts homes, family gatherings and just sitting on her porch on the swing. Memories of home made ice cream, playing under sprinkler, her starching my dresses until they could stand in the corner and no way could we miss church on Sunday morning and Sunday night and on Wednesday night. I can remember walking to the church in the sweltering heat and everyone fanning themselves with paper fans.
I remember night sounds, her brushing my hair, the ice cream man going by in front of the house, a man going by with a horse drawn cart selling vegetables and even chickens. I always wanted a bike but because of living in the busy city I never had one. But when visiting "ma"
my cousin would bring his over. I would ride and ride until my hearts content.
On these visits I would also spend time with my maternal grandmother. She loved me but it was not the same as with Ma. It might have been because there was just the two of us in her home and she could focus on me completely.
It does not sound like enough to just say she loved this skinny little girl and made me feel bright and pretty and just plain wonderful. So many wonderful memories from my childhood visits with her.
Since I lived in an apartment it seemed at that time like her white cottage surrounded by hedge with big trees in the yard was a mansion.
In the past I drove by and could not believe my eyes. I viewed this very small home, hedge and trees no longer there and it looked so small, simple and plain.
My other grandmother lived in the country. I remember times of enjoying the peacefulness, picking blackberries and being covered with chiggers, my grandfathers cows and on and on. Maybe this is one of the reasons I am drawn to nature. I did not have it while growing up and always longed for it and came alive when I would see my grandmother's flower gardens.
I can remember continually dreaming of green fields, trees in the woods and animals and sometimes a pond or creek.
So these dreams have been fulfilled throughout my lifetime. I am so very thankful for this.

Some more memories from this One Woman on Her Journey Through Life

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wednesday Thoughts

I drove to pick up my little girl early this morning. Grandma's day. The weather is cold, misty rain and almost foggy. Traffic early in the morning is horrendous. Or rather it is always terrible here in the city. I do not like it.
Lately I have been noticing a hum in the atmosphere. Told my son about this and his reply was "that's the interstate". Certain times of the year you notice it more. Still getting use the sounds in this city cottage. Also I can remember waking up in the night and thinking "what is that".
I opened the front door and could hear the train. I never notice it in the daytime but do at night .
In my country space there is no sound. Or rather you might hear some cattle in the distance.
With frequent trips my memory is returning of the special country sounds. Here in the city with the street lights on it is never dark. I remember in the country the total blackness at night. Then you would become use to the dark and the moon would light up different places.

Oh well I am dreaming again. I am enjoying the process of planning this cottage and garden area. Many times I have heard the comment that I should have done this professionally.
I have only had the energy to do this for my dwellings. They are a part of me. Do not think I could give this much of myself to someone else.

Just received call for septic system approval and driveway approval. Next to have my area cleared and picture in my mind my setting and then building permit.
Will be interesting to see if this will progress. So I send up to Heaven requests for positive energy, health, wisdom and financial plans to fall in place.

If there is any problem with any of this - I stop. I Continue to take one day at a time.

How do geese know when to fly to the sun. Who tells them the seasons? How do we humans know when it is time to move on. As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen.

Elizabeth Kubler - Ross

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Poison Ivy



Oh my memories of Poison Ivy. For the years that I lived in the country - poison ivy was a several time a year occurrence. It would start out with a small rash. I never learned that I could not keep it from spreading. I would put items from the drugstore on it. Natural healing suggestions were used to no avail.
Within a few days or hours the rash would be spreading. So off to the doctor for a shot and pills. This always took care of it. I just did not like this process. Seemed like the pills made me feel like I was on some kind of high and could run a marathon.

I have not had poison ivy for several years now since living in city areas. Where do these thoughts come from? In the night the memory of poison ivy surfaced.
With thoughts progressing of a family home in the country - I know poison ivy is out there.
Also also with the ticks, chiggers and whatever else is out there to attack this One Woman.

I can remember a dear friend sharing a phrase with me that always worked for her. If she was still living I would call her for the correct words. Something like this "leaves of 4 you are fine, leaves of 3 let it be".

I think one of the worst cases I had was one winter. Could not figure out how this happened. Then in an enlightning moment I knew that it was on the wood I was burning. I had a habit of reaching under my shirt or top of my jeans and scratching myself. Anyway the rash appeared below waistline almost on my bottom. So you can guess how embarrassing it was for me when I went to the doctor and told him I need poison ivy medication. He asked to see the rash and I told him I was very familiar with this condition and just give me a shot and prescription for dose pack. He kept questioning me of the area. I finally shared with him and you can imagine telling him - in the dead of winter - that I had poison ivy on my back side.


Poison Ivy streaming vine of red wrapped around brown bark tree, warning of danger. Denise Girod

Monday, December 8, 2008

The Ice Storm of 1994

I can remember the weather forecast. Calling for snow and ice mix.
I felt secure as I had plenty of wood on my porch and my little red wagon was loaded and was at the back door in the house. Plenty of groceries, batteries and I felt there was no need to worry.
In the night there were cracking sounds, like tree limbs falling. I fell back to sleep.
I awoke a little later to utter blackness. The current was off. I thought it will back on soon. I fell back to sleep.
When I awoke just before daybreak and could see my surroundings Oh My!!
First thought that came to mind was the sight was spectacular and beautiful, but almost frightening is what I just read in my journal entry at that time. The landscape looked like someone had decorated every branch, bush, lawn with shining crystals, it was a sight to behold. Almost unreal. Every branch sparkled and was bent from the weight of the ice. Then I saw the hundreds of branches and limbs lying everywhere in my yard and in my drive. There were large branches that were broken but had not fell to the ground. My drive was totally blocked. I could not have pulled my car out of garage if I wanted to as the door was frozen. I could only walk on the grass as my brick walks and concrete drive were so slick I was afraid to step on them even with my boots in place. All surfaces looked like a skating ring.

So, I thought it will melt in a few days and I will be fine. But it did not melt in a few days. I was confident the current would soon be restored. My children used one of their favorite words regarding me. Look at this as an adventure. Well the adventure turned into a nightmare as far as this One Woman was concerned.

It continued to be bitter cold and nothing melted. No current was restored.
I will be fine I kept thinking, I have wood and food and this cannot go on for long. It was very tiring with the continual filling the wood stove. This wood stove was made for pleasure on damp or cold days. It was not installed as the main source of heat for this old farm house.

As the days went by and the house grew colder I was wearing my jacket, scarf and gloves in the house. I kept pipes from freezing with the wood stove heat but the house was truly cold and I was getting to the point that I felt continually chilly. I would read at night with the aid of my flashlight and the dim light of the fire. Mostly my Bible.
Items in my freezer began to thaw and I knew that all the wonderful summer produce that I had worked at putting in my freezer was ruined. It truly did not matter as I just wanted to be warm again.

Well the current stayed off for 14 days. I would listen on my battery radio to the local station every morning and every day they would share how many more area's the current had been restored too.
It was finally reported that there are just a few homes still without current. I was one of those homes.

My son did make several trips to my home to bring a cooler with ice and some things I needed. He brought in a big supply of wood. Now I was stacking it in the house.
He cleared my drive. Later a chain saw had to be used to cut off huge limbs that had broken. He wanted me to leave my home and I would not. I was not comfortable leaving it and not keeping the fire going. Afraid of frozen pipes, telephone finally was restored in about 7 days. So children kept in touch to see if I was making it. Also a few calls came in. I think because my appearance of always having everything under control most people probably thought I was fine. If I had not been alone this experience probably would not have phased me.

I remember catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My heavy jacket, scarf on my
head and gloves - and I was in the house. I remember shaking my head at my reflection. Everything I ate was cold. I would keep water on the wood stove to warm for tea and oatmeal.

Someone asked me later did I miss hot water for bathing. I truly have to say this did not enter my mind. I did not think of bathing at this time. I thought of just surviving this storm. I wanted to be warm again and eat something warm.
It was at this time that I began to have severe colon problems. It has never left. The stress of this left a depth of anxiety I guess that I have not been able to reach and heal.

It took me weeks to recover from this experience and I began to seriously consider leaving my isolated farm home. This did take place a few years later.


Enough shared this early morning from my city cottage.

Another memory on this One Woman's Journey Through This Life.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Home

I continue going through paperwork and found this poem. I remember cutting it out years ago when I lived at the old farm house. It makes me smile this cold wintry morning. I guess I could change the wording to "Homes". That seems to be One Woman's Journey. Homes she created and they have all been special.

There's a home
whose rooms
I know by heart.
Where I tend the garden
and read my books.
Where dreams are dreamt
and memories made.
Where children grew up
and grandchildren visted
and I grew old.
There's a home
where life is lived
A home where I belong
Author unknown

Some thoughts from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life









Thursday, December 4, 2008

I'm Dreaming Again

Oh my what memories. My last trip about 20 years ago. In another life, there were about a dozen trips made to this island. After setting out on my own, I took my mother with me one time.
Another time, my aunt who is now 95. My last trip a young woman from our small town community accompanied Jamie and myself. I can remember that at this time I seriously considered of relocating to this island. I even inquired about employment and business opportunities.

I close my eyes and I can see that blue water when our plane is landing. A color of blue that I cannot even describe. Once at our location at Half Moon I can hear the waves, smell the ocean smells and feel a special peace and quiet coming over me.
Remember at breakfast time having fresh fish that was cooked with lime juice in a way that I have never had again. The rolls, coffee cakes and the fruit. Everything was perfect.
In the evening at dinner time as we walked to the outdoor eating area, the aromas that filled the air. Especially the night when every thing was cooked outside. The array of food was mind boggeling. Every type of fish, lobster, beef, pork, and veal. Everything you could imagine was being cooked for you to view. Every type of vegetable and on and on. The desert area was one of my favorites. Especially a home made fudge that they made. I was given the recipe but never could duplicate it.

It always seemed to me like everyone moved in slow motion. But guess that was because this mom with 4 children moved at too fast a pace. I can remember when arriving back at home that for a few weeks I continued at this slow pace and then it began to speed up and I was back to my normal fast pace.

From the depths of my heart I have yearned to return. But no traveling companion and this is not a place for a woman alone to set out to visit. But then those are my thoughts. I always had a slight feeling of being uncomfortable even with my husband and children. Might be because I was so far from home.
Everyone was so very nice and courteous but I was aware of how far from home and in the middle of the ocean I was staying. I can remember the time all the current went off on the island.
I have never experienced such darkness. I can remember the time we went in September and preparation was being made for what might be a bad storm. I can remember the Jamacian's doing special things with my son. I can remember the evenings listening to the native music and dancing. I can remember over and over being told what a beautiful family we were.

In those years we traveled with a lot of luggage. There had to be sport coats for the men and the girls and I always wore long dresses in the evening. Except for the casual barbeque night. I think resorts of this type are more casual at this time. But I do not know since my world has been close to home for a number of years.
So I can close my eyes and smell the ocean and hear the waves. I can remember the special islanders who remembered our family each time we returned. Can remember the time that one special young man never left our family and when I returned home I did some special inquirying about bringing him to our home in the states. I still remember him bringing a box lunch to our family on departing day and I could see him waving as our plane pulled off. Remembering it still brings tears to my eyes. Winston, what has happened in your life? Please forgive me that I could not fulfill your dream at that time.

I am thankful for these memories but there is a small part of me that would like to sit on that beautiful beach once more.
Some more memories from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Balance

It seems I continually struggle with balance in my life. Could being a Libra and born under the sign of the scales, have anything to do with this?
I have always had the ability to take a chance and go with my gut instinct. Always felt in my heart that when you are doing what you are suppose to do, everything falls in place. I do not go against the flow. Any major problem or something does not look right - then I stop in my tracks. It has always worked in the past for this One Woman.

Now at this later stage in life - I wonder do I continue to take a chance and go with my gut instinct? Then I answer my question - why not - I am not ready to sit and do nothing. At the moment I take one day at a time. I am aware that much could change but I am enjoying the process of planning and dreaming. Health issues or finances could stop this project from becoming a reality. But nothing will stop me from this planning project!!!
I have no answer on a number of things that are staying on my mind and taking up a lot of time. The process of planning and visuallizing a finished project seems to make my energy level soar and my creative nature takes over. When project is finished on paper, I will continue sketching a small fenced area and what I will plant. Since this home is at the edge of the woods I am going with Rhodedendrums around the house. Less flowers then I have in this city garden but must have a small vegetable garden and a swing in a tree for my little girls. Clarity regarding an image continues to surface. It always does.

So I continue to sketch the floor plan of this country home. Measuring where the furnishings that I keep will fit it. If this falls in place it is another downscaling project and a number of items will have to go. A challenge for this home to blend into the wooded area and to use the most economical products.

Destiny, the path that gets you exactly where you are suppose to be.

I truly do not know any other way to go through this life. So this One Woman will continue on her pathway through this life - until the last leaf has fallen

More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity
Francois Gautier

Monday, December 1, 2008

My Truck

Have you ever had a love affair with a truck? I have!!
When I moved to the country I wanted a truck sooo bad. My son found an older truck that a professor was selling. So that was my first truck. It was really my son's but he did not drive it but several times. So it was mine. I could drive all over the fields and through the woods and not worry about banging up anything. I could haul mulch, feed, fence post, dogs and grandchildren. It stayed on the farm and I did drive it to the place where you took your trash.
But I never drove it to town.

When Jamie, my youngest left for college I began to think of leaving my isolated country home. SO the farm home was sold and the truck had a new owner. I sold the truck for $200 to the doctor who bought that home.
After a brief episode at an upscale condo on a golf course I returned to my country property. That is another story. I thought I was ready for retirement or whatever they call it. Possibly I would travel I thought looking out my windows at the golf course would seem like I was looking at my country property. How wrong I was. I was there 6 months. I guess I am happiest around nature and digging in the dirt.
Went back to my country property and built a new home 1000 feet off the road. There was an article in the paper about me moving back. Saying you could return home.
I Immediately bought myself a new Ford pickup.
Oh, I loved that truck. Now this truck I drove everywhere. I had never driven a truck for my daily errands before. I liked that I was sitting up higher then in my car. So my truck and I had a lot of fun. Did get stuck in the mud by my pond after many days of rain and had to call a neighbor to pull me out with his tractor.

The first couple of summers in this country home I think I hauled mulch for my garden weekly. Not to far from my home they would load it with a tractor and I would head home and spread the mulch with my pitchfork.
I can remember the owner of this business commenting one week of all the mulch I spread and also my daughter in Massachusetts commented on this also saying "mama you spread more mulch then anyone I know".
I really was doing more then I should for my size and getting older. But I love working outside. All the outside work and being surrounded by nature was healing and I was never happier.

One of my problems I have always worked hard at what ever I do but this continual physical work was a new older life experience for me. Like when I moved to the farmhome and kept a fire going in the fireplace many months out of the year. There is nothing like a real fire. The pleasure was worth all the work of me bringing in and burning many ricks of wood.
This home was eventually sold to another doctor and a retired professor and I built a home in the historical part of a neighboring town. This home located about 10 minutes from my country home. I hauled a number of truck loads of cuttings from my plants and once again created a garden.
By this time several injuries to myself had occurred in regards to the truck.
One time when up in the bed cleaning it out I fell over the guidewire. Also from spreading so much mulch and lifting heavy bags I tore a muscle in my right arm. Still have damage to that arm. Anyway several accidents of this type.

My son intervened. I can remember him saying "I do not think with you living in the city that you need a truck and a car and keep hauling all the things you do. You are going to hurt yourself and it may not be minor". He could use another vehicle at his business - so my son bought my much loved truck. Occassionally when something is delivered, like many bags of mulch or sealer for my terrace and walks one of his workers will arrive with my truck.
I always tell them how I miss that truck and even have asked for it back. But Jimmy smiles and says "mama you sold it".

So there is nothing wrong with my car but I am having thoughts of a truck.
When I drive to the country I have all kinds of wild thoughts. Like I could drive back in the fields and in the woods. I could pick up rocks for my flower beds and what I haul in my car (which I never thought I would do this) could be in the truck.
I have always been fussy about my car and keeping in perfectly clean. But then again my son keeps telling me " whatever you pick up just put it in the car".

So again, to anyone that follows me on One Woman's Journey, you will begin to know a little of my past, present and future, my thoughts, strong points and the weak side of me. My oldest granddaughter wrote me the other day and said "grandma I love reading your journal and I am learning some things about you that I did not know". That said it all. This writing may bring some pleasure to my other grandchildren. Especially my little ones who can only know of my much loved country homes by grandma sharing about them.

So some more thoughts of the past from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life