I drove to pick up my little girl early this morning. Grandma's day. The weather is cold, misty rain and almost foggy. Traffic early in the morning is horrendous. Or rather it is always terrible here in the city. I do not like it.
Lately I have been noticing a hum in the atmosphere. Told my son about this and his reply was "that's the interstate". Certain times of the year you notice it more. Still getting use the sounds in this city cottage. Also I can remember waking up in the night and thinking "what is that".
I opened the front door and could hear the train. I never notice it in the daytime but do at night .
In my country space there is no sound. Or rather you might hear some cattle in the distance.
With frequent trips my memory is returning of the special country sounds. Here in the city with the street lights on it is never dark. I remember in the country the total blackness at night. Then you would become use to the dark and the moon would light up different places.
Oh well I am dreaming again. I am enjoying the process of planning this cottage and garden area. Many times I have heard the comment that I should have done this professionally.
I have only had the energy to do this for my dwellings. They are a part of me. Do not think I could give this much of myself to someone else.
Just received call for septic system approval and driveway approval. Next to have my area cleared and picture in my mind my setting and then building permit.
Will be interesting to see if this will progress. So I send up to Heaven requests for positive energy, health, wisdom and financial plans to fall in place.
If there is any problem with any of this - I stop. I Continue to take one day at a time.
How do geese know when to fly to the sun. Who tells them the seasons? How do we humans know when it is time to move on. As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen.
Elizabeth Kubler - Ross
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Poison Ivy
Oh my memories of Poison Ivy. For the years that I lived in the country - poison ivy was a several time a year occurrence. It would start out with a small rash. I never learned that I could not keep it from spreading. I would put items from the drugstore on it. Natural healing suggestions were used to no avail.
Within a few days or hours the rash would be spreading. So off to the doctor for a shot and pills. This always took care of it. I just did not like this process. Seemed like the pills made me feel like I was on some kind of high and could run a marathon.
I have not had poison ivy for several years now since living in city areas. Where do these thoughts come from? In the night the memory of poison ivy surfaced.
With thoughts progressing of a family home in the country - I know poison ivy is out there.
Also also with the ticks, chiggers and whatever else is out there to attack this One Woman.
I can remember a dear friend sharing a phrase with me that always worked for her. If she was still living I would call her for the correct words. Something like this "leaves of 4 you are fine, leaves of 3 let it be".
I think one of the worst cases I had was one winter. Could not figure out how this happened. Then in an enlightning moment I knew that it was on the wood I was burning. I had a habit of reaching under my shirt or top of my jeans and scratching myself. Anyway the rash appeared below waistline almost on my bottom. So you can guess how embarrassing it was for me when I went to the doctor and told him I need poison ivy medication. He asked to see the rash and I told him I was very familiar with this condition and just give me a shot and prescription for dose pack. He kept questioning me of the area. I finally shared with him and you can imagine telling him - in the dead of winter - that I had poison ivy on my back side.
Poison Ivy streaming vine of red wrapped around brown bark tree, warning of danger. Denise Girod
Monday, December 8, 2008
The Ice Storm of 1994
I can remember the weather forecast. Calling for snow and ice mix.
I felt secure as I had plenty of wood on my porch and my little red wagon was loaded and was at the back door in the house. Plenty of groceries, batteries and I felt there was no need to worry.
In the night there were cracking sounds, like tree limbs falling. I fell back to sleep.
I awoke a little later to utter blackness. The current was off. I thought it will back on soon. I fell back to sleep.
When I awoke just before daybreak and could see my surroundings Oh My!!
First thought that came to mind was the sight was spectacular and beautiful, but almost frightening is what I just read in my journal entry at that time. The landscape looked like someone had decorated every branch, bush, lawn with shining crystals, it was a sight to behold. Almost unreal. Every branch sparkled and was bent from the weight of the ice. Then I saw the hundreds of branches and limbs lying everywhere in my yard and in my drive. There were large branches that were broken but had not fell to the ground. My drive was totally blocked. I could not have pulled my car out of garage if I wanted to as the door was frozen. I could only walk on the grass as my brick walks and concrete drive were so slick I was afraid to step on them even with my boots in place. All surfaces looked like a skating ring.
So, I thought it will melt in a few days and I will be fine. But it did not melt in a few days. I was confident the current would soon be restored. My children used one of their favorite words regarding me. Look at this as an adventure. Well the adventure turned into a nightmare as far as this One Woman was concerned.
It continued to be bitter cold and nothing melted. No current was restored.
I will be fine I kept thinking, I have wood and food and this cannot go on for long. It was very tiring with the continual filling the wood stove. This wood stove was made for pleasure on damp or cold days. It was not installed as the main source of heat for this old farm house.
As the days went by and the house grew colder I was wearing my jacket, scarf and gloves in the house. I kept pipes from freezing with the wood stove heat but the house was truly cold and I was getting to the point that I felt continually chilly. I would read at night with the aid of my flashlight and the dim light of the fire. Mostly my Bible.
Items in my freezer began to thaw and I knew that all the wonderful summer produce that I had worked at putting in my freezer was ruined. It truly did not matter as I just wanted to be warm again.
Well the current stayed off for 14 days. I would listen on my battery radio to the local station every morning and every day they would share how many more area's the current had been restored too.
It was finally reported that there are just a few homes still without current. I was one of those homes.
My son did make several trips to my home to bring a cooler with ice and some things I needed. He brought in a big supply of wood. Now I was stacking it in the house.
He cleared my drive. Later a chain saw had to be used to cut off huge limbs that had broken. He wanted me to leave my home and I would not. I was not comfortable leaving it and not keeping the fire going. Afraid of frozen pipes, telephone finally was restored in about 7 days. So children kept in touch to see if I was making it. Also a few calls came in. I think because my appearance of always having everything under control most people probably thought I was fine. If I had not been alone this experience probably would not have phased me.
I remember catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My heavy jacket, scarf on my
head and gloves - and I was in the house. I remember shaking my head at my reflection. Everything I ate was cold. I would keep water on the wood stove to warm for tea and oatmeal.
Someone asked me later did I miss hot water for bathing. I truly have to say this did not enter my mind. I did not think of bathing at this time. I thought of just surviving this storm. I wanted to be warm again and eat something warm.
It was at this time that I began to have severe colon problems. It has never left. The stress of this left a depth of anxiety I guess that I have not been able to reach and heal.
It took me weeks to recover from this experience and I began to seriously consider leaving my isolated farm home. This did take place a few years later.
Enough shared this early morning from my city cottage.
Another memory on this One Woman's Journey Through This Life.
I felt secure as I had plenty of wood on my porch and my little red wagon was loaded and was at the back door in the house. Plenty of groceries, batteries and I felt there was no need to worry.
In the night there were cracking sounds, like tree limbs falling. I fell back to sleep.
I awoke a little later to utter blackness. The current was off. I thought it will back on soon. I fell back to sleep.
When I awoke just before daybreak and could see my surroundings Oh My!!
First thought that came to mind was the sight was spectacular and beautiful, but almost frightening is what I just read in my journal entry at that time. The landscape looked like someone had decorated every branch, bush, lawn with shining crystals, it was a sight to behold. Almost unreal. Every branch sparkled and was bent from the weight of the ice. Then I saw the hundreds of branches and limbs lying everywhere in my yard and in my drive. There were large branches that were broken but had not fell to the ground. My drive was totally blocked. I could not have pulled my car out of garage if I wanted to as the door was frozen. I could only walk on the grass as my brick walks and concrete drive were so slick I was afraid to step on them even with my boots in place. All surfaces looked like a skating ring.
So, I thought it will melt in a few days and I will be fine. But it did not melt in a few days. I was confident the current would soon be restored. My children used one of their favorite words regarding me. Look at this as an adventure. Well the adventure turned into a nightmare as far as this One Woman was concerned.
It continued to be bitter cold and nothing melted. No current was restored.
I will be fine I kept thinking, I have wood and food and this cannot go on for long. It was very tiring with the continual filling the wood stove. This wood stove was made for pleasure on damp or cold days. It was not installed as the main source of heat for this old farm house.
As the days went by and the house grew colder I was wearing my jacket, scarf and gloves in the house. I kept pipes from freezing with the wood stove heat but the house was truly cold and I was getting to the point that I felt continually chilly. I would read at night with the aid of my flashlight and the dim light of the fire. Mostly my Bible.
Items in my freezer began to thaw and I knew that all the wonderful summer produce that I had worked at putting in my freezer was ruined. It truly did not matter as I just wanted to be warm again.
Well the current stayed off for 14 days. I would listen on my battery radio to the local station every morning and every day they would share how many more area's the current had been restored too.
It was finally reported that there are just a few homes still without current. I was one of those homes.
My son did make several trips to my home to bring a cooler with ice and some things I needed. He brought in a big supply of wood. Now I was stacking it in the house.
He cleared my drive. Later a chain saw had to be used to cut off huge limbs that had broken. He wanted me to leave my home and I would not. I was not comfortable leaving it and not keeping the fire going. Afraid of frozen pipes, telephone finally was restored in about 7 days. So children kept in touch to see if I was making it. Also a few calls came in. I think because my appearance of always having everything under control most people probably thought I was fine. If I had not been alone this experience probably would not have phased me.
I remember catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My heavy jacket, scarf on my
head and gloves - and I was in the house. I remember shaking my head at my reflection. Everything I ate was cold. I would keep water on the wood stove to warm for tea and oatmeal.
Someone asked me later did I miss hot water for bathing. I truly have to say this did not enter my mind. I did not think of bathing at this time. I thought of just surviving this storm. I wanted to be warm again and eat something warm.
It was at this time that I began to have severe colon problems. It has never left. The stress of this left a depth of anxiety I guess that I have not been able to reach and heal.
It took me weeks to recover from this experience and I began to seriously consider leaving my isolated farm home. This did take place a few years later.
Enough shared this early morning from my city cottage.
Another memory on this One Woman's Journey Through This Life.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Home
I continue going through paperwork and found this poem. I remember cutting it out years ago when I lived at the old farm house. It makes me smile this cold wintry morning. I guess I could change the wording to "Homes". That seems to be One Woman's Journey. Homes she created and they have all been special.
There's a home
whose rooms
I know by heart.
Where I tend the garden
and read my books.
Where dreams are dreamt
and memories made.
Where children grew up
and grandchildren visted
and I grew old.
There's a home
where life is lived
A home where I belong
Author unknown
Some thoughts from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life
There's a home
whose rooms
I know by heart.
Where I tend the garden
and read my books.
Where dreams are dreamt
and memories made.
Where children grew up
and grandchildren visted
and I grew old.
There's a home
where life is lived
A home where I belong
Author unknown
Some thoughts from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I'm Dreaming Again
Oh my what memories. My last trip about 20 years ago. In another life, there were about a dozen trips made to this island. After setting out on my own, I took my mother with me one time.Another time, my aunt who is now 95. My last trip a young woman from our small town community accompanied Jamie and myself. I can remember that at this time I seriously considered of relocating to this island. I even inquired about employment and business opportunities.
I close my eyes and I can see that blue water when our plane is landing. A color of blue that I cannot even describe. Once at our location at Half Moon I can hear the waves, smell the ocean smells and feel a special peace and quiet coming over me.
Remember at breakfast time having fresh fish that was cooked with lime juice in a way that I have never had again. The rolls, coffee cakes and the fruit. Everything was perfect.
In the evening at dinner time as we walked to the outdoor eating area, the aromas that filled the air. Especially the night when every thing was cooked outside. The array of food was mind boggeling. Every type of fish, lobster, beef, pork, and veal. Everything you could imagine was being cooked for you to view. Every type of vegetable and on and on. The desert area was one of my favorites. Especially a home made fudge that they made. I was given the recipe but never could duplicate it.
It always seemed to me like everyone moved in slow motion. But guess that was because this mom with 4 children moved at too fast a pace. I can remember when arriving back at home that for a few weeks I continued at this slow pace and then it began to speed up and I was back to my normal fast pace.
From the depths of my heart I have yearned to return. But no traveling companion and this is not a place for a woman alone to set out to visit. But then those are my thoughts. I always had a slight feeling of being uncomfortable even with my husband and children. Might be because I was so far from home.
Everyone was so very nice and courteous but I was aware of how far from home and in the middle of the ocean I was staying. I can remember the time all the current went off on the island.
I have never experienced such darkness. I can remember the time we went in September and preparation was being made for what might be a bad storm. I can remember the Jamacian's doing special things with my son. I can remember the evenings listening to the native music and dancing. I can remember over and over being told what a beautiful family we were.
In those years we traveled with a lot of luggage. There had to be sport coats for the men and the girls and I always wore long dresses in the evening. Except for the casual barbeque night. I think resorts of this type are more casual at this time. But I do not know since my world has been close to home for a number of years.
So I can close my eyes and smell the ocean and hear the waves. I can remember the special islanders who remembered our family each time we returned. Can remember the time that one special young man never left our family and when I returned home I did some special inquirying about bringing him to our home in the states. I still remember him bringing a box lunch to our family on departing day and I could see him waving as our plane pulled off. Remembering it still brings tears to my eyes. Winston, what has happened in your life? Please forgive me that I could not fulfill your dream at that time.
So I can close my eyes and smell the ocean and hear the waves. I can remember the special islanders who remembered our family each time we returned. Can remember the time that one special young man never left our family and when I returned home I did some special inquirying about bringing him to our home in the states. I still remember him bringing a box lunch to our family on departing day and I could see him waving as our plane pulled off. Remembering it still brings tears to my eyes. Winston, what has happened in your life? Please forgive me that I could not fulfill your dream at that time.
I am thankful for these memories but there is a small part of me that would like to sit on that beautiful beach once more.
Some more memories from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Balance
It seems I continually struggle with balance in my life. Could being a Libra and born under the sign of the scales, have anything to do with this?
I have always had the ability to take a chance and go with my gut instinct. Always felt in my heart that when you are doing what you are suppose to do, everything falls in place. I do not go against the flow. Any major problem or something does not look right - then I stop in my tracks. It has always worked in the past for this One Woman.
Now at this later stage in life - I wonder do I continue to take a chance and go with my gut instinct? Then I answer my question - why not - I am not ready to sit and do nothing. At the moment I take one day at a time. I am aware that much could change but I am enjoying the process of planning and dreaming. Health issues or finances could stop this project from becoming a reality. But nothing will stop me from this planning project!!!
I have no answer on a number of things that are staying on my mind and taking up a lot of time. The process of planning and visuallizing a finished project seems to make my energy level soar and my creative nature takes over. When project is finished on paper, I will continue sketching a small fenced area and what I will plant. Since this home is at the edge of the woods I am going with Rhodedendrums around the house. Less flowers then I have in this city garden but must have a small vegetable garden and a swing in a tree for my little girls. Clarity regarding an image continues to surface. It always does.
So I continue to sketch the floor plan of this country home. Measuring where the furnishings that I keep will fit it. If this falls in place it is another downscaling project and a number of items will have to go. A challenge for this home to blend into the wooded area and to use the most economical products.
Destiny, the path that gets you exactly where you are suppose to be.
I truly do not know any other way to go through this life. So this One Woman will continue on her pathway through this life - until the last leaf has fallen
More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity
Francois Gautier
I have always had the ability to take a chance and go with my gut instinct. Always felt in my heart that when you are doing what you are suppose to do, everything falls in place. I do not go against the flow. Any major problem or something does not look right - then I stop in my tracks. It has always worked in the past for this One Woman.
Now at this later stage in life - I wonder do I continue to take a chance and go with my gut instinct? Then I answer my question - why not - I am not ready to sit and do nothing. At the moment I take one day at a time. I am aware that much could change but I am enjoying the process of planning and dreaming. Health issues or finances could stop this project from becoming a reality. But nothing will stop me from this planning project!!!
I have no answer on a number of things that are staying on my mind and taking up a lot of time. The process of planning and visuallizing a finished project seems to make my energy level soar and my creative nature takes over. When project is finished on paper, I will continue sketching a small fenced area and what I will plant. Since this home is at the edge of the woods I am going with Rhodedendrums around the house. Less flowers then I have in this city garden but must have a small vegetable garden and a swing in a tree for my little girls. Clarity regarding an image continues to surface. It always does.
So I continue to sketch the floor plan of this country home. Measuring where the furnishings that I keep will fit it. If this falls in place it is another downscaling project and a number of items will have to go. A challenge for this home to blend into the wooded area and to use the most economical products.
Destiny, the path that gets you exactly where you are suppose to be.
I truly do not know any other way to go through this life. So this One Woman will continue on her pathway through this life - until the last leaf has fallen
More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity
Francois Gautier
Monday, December 1, 2008
My Truck
Have you ever had a love affair with a truck? I have!!
When I moved to the country I wanted a truck sooo bad. My son found an older truck that a professor was selling. So that was my first truck. It was really my son's but he did not drive it but several times. So it was mine. I could drive all over the fields and through the woods and not worry about banging up anything. I could haul mulch, feed, fence post, dogs and grandchildren. It stayed on the farm and I did drive it to the place where you took your trash.
But I never drove it to town.
When Jamie, my youngest left for college I began to think of leaving my isolated country home. SO the farm home was sold and the truck had a new owner. I sold the truck for $200 to the doctor who bought that home.
After a brief episode at an upscale condo on a golf course I returned to my country property. That is another story. I thought I was ready for retirement or whatever they call it. Possibly I would travel I thought looking out my windows at the golf course would seem like I was looking at my country property. How wrong I was. I was there 6 months. I guess I am happiest around nature and digging in the dirt.
Went back to my country property and built a new home 1000 feet off the road. There was an article in the paper about me moving back. Saying you could return home.
I Immediately bought myself a new Ford pickup.
Oh, I loved that truck. Now this truck I drove everywhere. I had never driven a truck for my daily errands before. I liked that I was sitting up higher then in my car. So my truck and I had a lot of fun. Did get stuck in the mud by my pond after many days of rain and had to call a neighbor to pull me out with his tractor.
The first couple of summers in this country home I think I hauled mulch for my garden weekly. Not to far from my home they would load it with a tractor and I would head home and spread the mulch with my pitchfork.
I can remember the owner of this business commenting one week of all the mulch I spread and also my daughter in Massachusetts commented on this also saying "mama you spread more mulch then anyone I know".
I really was doing more then I should for my size and getting older. But I love working outside. All the outside work and being surrounded by nature was healing and I was never happier.
One of my problems I have always worked hard at what ever I do but this continual physical work was a new older life experience for me. Like when I moved to the farmhome and kept a fire going in the fireplace many months out of the year. There is nothing like a real fire. The pleasure was worth all the work of me bringing in and burning many ricks of wood.
This home was eventually sold to another doctor and a retired professor and I built a home in the historical part of a neighboring town. This home located about 10 minutes from my country home. I hauled a number of truck loads of cuttings from my plants and once again created a garden.
By this time several injuries to myself had occurred in regards to the truck.
One time when up in the bed cleaning it out I fell over the guidewire. Also from spreading so much mulch and lifting heavy bags I tore a muscle in my right arm. Still have damage to that arm. Anyway several accidents of this type.
My son intervened. I can remember him saying "I do not think with you living in the city that you need a truck and a car and keep hauling all the things you do. You are going to hurt yourself and it may not be minor". He could use another vehicle at his business - so my son bought my much loved truck. Occassionally when something is delivered, like many bags of mulch or sealer for my terrace and walks one of his workers will arrive with my truck.
I always tell them how I miss that truck and even have asked for it back. But Jimmy smiles and says "mama you sold it".
So there is nothing wrong with my car but I am having thoughts of a truck.
When I drive to the country I have all kinds of wild thoughts. Like I could drive back in the fields and in the woods. I could pick up rocks for my flower beds and what I haul in my car (which I never thought I would do this) could be in the truck.
I have always been fussy about my car and keeping in perfectly clean. But then again my son keeps telling me " whatever you pick up just put it in the car".
So again, to anyone that follows me on One Woman's Journey, you will begin to know a little of my past, present and future, my thoughts, strong points and the weak side of me. My oldest granddaughter wrote me the other day and said "grandma I love reading your journal and I am learning some things about you that I did not know". That said it all. This writing may bring some pleasure to my other grandchildren. Especially my little ones who can only know of my much loved country homes by grandma sharing about them.
So some more thoughts of the past from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life
When I moved to the country I wanted a truck sooo bad. My son found an older truck that a professor was selling. So that was my first truck. It was really my son's but he did not drive it but several times. So it was mine. I could drive all over the fields and through the woods and not worry about banging up anything. I could haul mulch, feed, fence post, dogs and grandchildren. It stayed on the farm and I did drive it to the place where you took your trash.
But I never drove it to town.
When Jamie, my youngest left for college I began to think of leaving my isolated country home. SO the farm home was sold and the truck had a new owner. I sold the truck for $200 to the doctor who bought that home.
After a brief episode at an upscale condo on a golf course I returned to my country property. That is another story. I thought I was ready for retirement or whatever they call it. Possibly I would travel I thought looking out my windows at the golf course would seem like I was looking at my country property. How wrong I was. I was there 6 months. I guess I am happiest around nature and digging in the dirt.
Went back to my country property and built a new home 1000 feet off the road. There was an article in the paper about me moving back. Saying you could return home.
I Immediately bought myself a new Ford pickup.
Oh, I loved that truck. Now this truck I drove everywhere. I had never driven a truck for my daily errands before. I liked that I was sitting up higher then in my car. So my truck and I had a lot of fun. Did get stuck in the mud by my pond after many days of rain and had to call a neighbor to pull me out with his tractor.
The first couple of summers in this country home I think I hauled mulch for my garden weekly. Not to far from my home they would load it with a tractor and I would head home and spread the mulch with my pitchfork.
I can remember the owner of this business commenting one week of all the mulch I spread and also my daughter in Massachusetts commented on this also saying "mama you spread more mulch then anyone I know".
I really was doing more then I should for my size and getting older. But I love working outside. All the outside work and being surrounded by nature was healing and I was never happier.
One of my problems I have always worked hard at what ever I do but this continual physical work was a new older life experience for me. Like when I moved to the farmhome and kept a fire going in the fireplace many months out of the year. There is nothing like a real fire. The pleasure was worth all the work of me bringing in and burning many ricks of wood.
This home was eventually sold to another doctor and a retired professor and I built a home in the historical part of a neighboring town. This home located about 10 minutes from my country home. I hauled a number of truck loads of cuttings from my plants and once again created a garden.
By this time several injuries to myself had occurred in regards to the truck.
One time when up in the bed cleaning it out I fell over the guidewire. Also from spreading so much mulch and lifting heavy bags I tore a muscle in my right arm. Still have damage to that arm. Anyway several accidents of this type.
My son intervened. I can remember him saying "I do not think with you living in the city that you need a truck and a car and keep hauling all the things you do. You are going to hurt yourself and it may not be minor". He could use another vehicle at his business - so my son bought my much loved truck. Occassionally when something is delivered, like many bags of mulch or sealer for my terrace and walks one of his workers will arrive with my truck.
I always tell them how I miss that truck and even have asked for it back. But Jimmy smiles and says "mama you sold it".
So there is nothing wrong with my car but I am having thoughts of a truck.
When I drive to the country I have all kinds of wild thoughts. Like I could drive back in the fields and in the woods. I could pick up rocks for my flower beds and what I haul in my car (which I never thought I would do this) could be in the truck.
I have always been fussy about my car and keeping in perfectly clean. But then again my son keeps telling me " whatever you pick up just put it in the car".
So again, to anyone that follows me on One Woman's Journey, you will begin to know a little of my past, present and future, my thoughts, strong points and the weak side of me. My oldest granddaughter wrote me the other day and said "grandma I love reading your journal and I am learning some things about you that I did not know". That said it all. This writing may bring some pleasure to my other grandchildren. Especially my little ones who can only know of my much loved country homes by grandma sharing about them.
So some more thoughts of the past from this One Woman on her Journey Through This Life
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