My Journey To Mindfulness

Pizza From Italy

2012-02-17T05:30:00.007-05:00

I rarely eat pizza
as they are usually
covered with too much tomato sauce
and I cannot tolerate the acid.

We have a restaurant in town
that makes homemade pizza
and it taste good to me.
I like the vegetarian

and my little granddaughter's
like the cheese. Sometimes when
they visit we will share one.

Knowing surgery, weather
or just not feeling up to cooking
might keep me in for days
I purchased a few frozen items
a month ago.
The frozen dinners - I could not stand.
Threw them away....

Now this pizza purchased from
our local Aldi's
was made in Italy
and it was very good.
On top I put a few of
my chopped red and
yellow peppers.

It already had a generous covering
of fresh spinach and goat cheese.
Surprisingly just a thin covering
of tomato sauce.
A specialty item on the day I shopped.
It was a winner...

If it had not tasted good
it sure looked like a picture when
removed from the box.

Makes Me Smile

2012-02-16T05:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday
it was the end of a day that
was cool and damp here by the woods.
Yet I could feel Spring in the air.

Could not resist picking up hoe
and chopping out a few winter weeds
even though ground is nothing but mud.
Mind is saying
why are you doing this
and I answer
because I want to.

Early evening
washer is going
and just finished a bowl of soup.
Do not feel like reading and it is
too early to go to bed

So -- I started looking at my Jamie's
writing and some pictures she
posted several years ago.

This made me smile
an old picture I took of Jamie and her brother.
That sure was wild wall paper - cannot imagine
having that type of taste.
But then I was about 36 so glad
my style changed...

Then a picture of my youngest granddaughter
in an over sized t-shirt when she spent the
night with me.

Memories

that make me smile.

All in all
Life is Good....

Pause

2012-02-15T06:27:00.002-05:00

Think on this

Pause a moment before acting or reacting
many times
would make a big difference..

The Ajahn said

"Feel a space between one thought and another
we think past and future
we feel present moment"

shared by one who was present
for a Dharma talk
far over the ocean....

On a lighter note
I saw the really big Woodpecker
yesterday evening.
on a big tree close to bird feeders.
He appeared a year ago also.
Wonder what visiting in
February means :)

They Have All Been Different

2012-02-14T10:18:00.003-05:00

Valentines Day
A day that you will feel specially loved
Oh yes,
mine have all been different.
In the past there was candy, flowers,
a special piece of jewelery,
delicious meals at top of the line
restaurants, dances at the country club
and even a couple of trips.

Simple times at home
with handmade cards from
young children
Many still in my old scrapbooks

Returning from errands yesterday
on a cold day. Did not want to leave
Callie in utility room and knew it would
be a short trip, so I left her
outside with access to her pillow
on the screen porch.

Turning into the long gravel road
cold and misty rain
and there she was
sitting in the middle of the field
on the cold damp earth
waiting for me.

She spots me and takes off running
and practically leaping in the air.

Now when an animal or human
waits for you
lying on the cold damp ground
in the misty rain
that is love....

At the moment
I am doing housework
neglected for almost 3 weeks
because of surgery.

At this moment in this small cottage
doing household chores.
I feel loved

This Valentine's
No need of flowers, cards, candy,
entertainment or special gifts.

The gift of peace in my heartt
and Miss Callie
is enough....

Part Of A Mother's And A Grandmother's Journey

2012-02-12T06:23:00.002-05:00

Godspeed

You say goodbye,
smile proudly
as they stand there, so tall
with backpack, camera,
and you hand over a sandwich,
or a fresh peach,
and a lucky penny,
wishing, Godspeed.
You can't go with them,
hold their hand as they cross
whatever street they must
to school, train, or plane ---
or ocean, or midnight sky.
You can only watch,
feeling your heart beat fast,
still warmed from that last hug,
as they walk away,
looking smaller to you
as they grow
to full size on their own.
You swallow tears
arms already feeling empty,
and try to smile.
You think they might look back
for reassurance
or to wave excitement as their
newest adventure begins.
At last you turn,
go back inside
to whatever house you call home,
make yourself a cup of coffee or tea
and plan your own journey
to destinations unforeseen......

~~Lenore Horowitz~~

Very Very Cold at Woodhaven and Lobster Tail

2012-02-11T15:00:00.005-05:00

A very cold day
blustery wind and a dusting of snow
Callie will only stay out minutes
then at the door wagging her tail
to return to the warmth inside.

Hopefully these low digit numbers
will kill the winter weeds that
have over taken my garden.

Yesterday, doctor appt went well
office filled and a long wait.
Then 4 errands and was exhausted
when returning home.
All well and return in 10 days

So I either did too much, stupid remark
or it is body healing, immune problem,
or the youthful spirit has an old body.

Made a nourishing lunch treat.
A lobster tail in freezer was prepared
with my green beans and potatoes.
Chocolate cake for desert.
Now healing body
take that...

Have seen so few deer this winter
or any kind of wild life. Guess
there is still much for them to eat in the woods.

But a few days ago at dusk there were 8 in

the front field.
When I open the door to take an image
they scattered....

Spring In The Garden

2012-02-10T05:12:00.001-05:00

After a night of rain
I go out, wearing clogs

wrapped in an old overcoat
against the spring cold

water pours white
through the open dikes

peach blossoms glow red
beyond the willows

fields of new grass spread away
edged and checkered

poles rise from the well
at the wood's edge

I go back in
to write at my small desk

evening arrives, I'm alone
happy among the green weeds

~~Chinese Poet----Wang Wei 750 AD~~

This was enclosed in a letter sent to me by my son, from Thailand
dated 12/2002

I remember how I loved receiving it
and saved it.

Seems it was only yesterday.....

Just Me

2012-02-09T06:19:00.006-05:00

Be who you are
and say what you feel
because those that mind
don't matter
and those who matter
don't mind....

~Dr. Seuss~

Sometime on my journey,
I heard a lady in her later years
reply

"I have been some one's daughter,
wife, mother, grandmother, and
at the present time
it is so wonderful
just to be me"

That's me.....

For all who have asked
at the moment "I am feeling fine."
Will see what the surgeon says'
tomorrow :)

The book that is pictured is one I gave to my little granddaughter's several years ago.
But it reminded this grandma of her desire.
As I look back over the years
it seemed I was always playing a roll
never could "just be me."
It has finally happened
and it is great....

Watching And Waiting - Pileated Woodpecker

2012-02-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

This was posted almost 2 years ago. I have never seen this special woodpecker near the house since that time. I am always watching and hear them in the woods.

Wonder why they have not made another visit or have they and I was not aware - wonder.
Maybe that first time visit was to welcome me....

She was talking to her daughter who now lives in Florida. Usually looking out the window as she talks and watching her bird feeders and wondering if anything new will come out of the woods.

"Ohhhhhh - I can't believe it - I knew you were out there." "Mama what is going on?" my daughter asked.

She went on to share that a Pileated Woodpecker was on the old tree not far from her kitchen window. They had been spotted in the woods, but not seen close to her woods home.

Her daughter tells her to hang up the phone and reach for her camera. Shared it was there and then it was gone. She smiles because it will visit again.

This is a picture from a National Geographic site.

Some facts: Pileated Woodpecker - usually 16 to 19 inches long and weigh 8 to 12 lbs.

Prayer

2012-02-07T06:10:00.003-05:00

I cannot make it in this life without prayer and meditating.

Praying for family, those that come to mind and myself.

Meditating to calm and still myself has opened up a deeper understanding of myself.

What a gift to know someone that is praying for you continually.

It was a comfort to know that I was continually in my mother's prayers. There were times in her last
years that she would tell me that she was on her little frail knee's for me. Times she would come to me in the old farm house, curl up on the little love seat in my bedroom and spend the night with me.   Oh yes, I knew I was loved and being
prayed for.   I surely needed it as there were many years of emotional struggle.  A young life with young parents and  going through
a divorce, finishing raising my children alone and all the challenges of One Woman alone who still
has times of thoughts that enter her mind. She is better now at letting the thoughts just flow in and out.
Better at being kind to herself.

You never really know how special those prayers are until you lose your mother.

My grandmother's prayed for me and when I moved to this country area and attended a small
country church there were many older ladies that showered me with their love and prayers. I can
call their names one by one.   Miss Robbye, Miss Susie and Alma, Miss Cora, and on and on.

All of these are gone now and the memories are all so special.   A different time of life in this area
as I returned and I am a new person to those busy with their lives surrounding me.

I do know that the Lord has always brought someone special along in my life that I knew was praying for me continually.

Now my long prayer time in the evening before falling asleep and in the morning before my feet hit the floor.

My children, grandchildren are first, others come to mind  and as I pray the words from the bible that strengthened me, encouraged me and sustained me through the years, tumble from my lips.

As I have grown spiritually there are now special words from other worlds.   Besides continually reciting
the Lords Prayer, 23 Psalms, and so many words from the Psalms I now use metta.

Reading continually and seeking wisdom, I do not think in a limited way like in years past. I hunger for more of much that is new to me and strengthens me.   I do not think there is anyone in my community that could relate to where I am spiritually. With my writing and sharing I have discovered other individuals like me.
We are oceans and miles apart and in other ways very close.

I do not know about those who might read this entry
but I can live no other way.

First Week Of February Dandelion

2012-02-06T16:00:00.002-05:00

A partially sunny afternoon
walking in the yard
picking up some small sticks
pulling up with dirty hands
some winter weeds out of the damp earth

Felt so good just to have dirt on and in my hands

Look what I came across
a dandelion

My Webster's Dictionary
calls it
a yellow flowered herb

Never thought of it as an herb
have never cooked the greens
but have heard some people do....

Update

2012-02-04T07:10:00.001-05:00

I was not going to post anything until next week.
But....
So many have kept in touch
and want to know how this is progressing.

My doctor said all I am experiencing is normal
and I am doing fine.
Pain has subsided a lot just not my energetic self.
Told to clean this area every day with peroxide
and put clean bandage on it.
Was curious what it looked like.
About 2 1/2 inches by the navel area.
So not a big area for giving me so much discomfort.
Think it is the mesh adjusting to tissue also
it is an incision with stitches

One thing that is giving me a very bad problem is
acid reflux. Was given a prescription to take for 2 weeks.
I wonder if all IV medications that pump into your body could cause this.
It surely cannot be good for you.

A lot doctors do not tell you.
My kind doctor listens and smiles at me.
He is from India, he must be 70, very well known
and will share no more
to prevent myself from sounding foolish
in my healing state.

Water, water and more water is one thing I am pushing.

Return next Friday and I am sure I will be released
at that time and told I can drive. At the moment driving
is not on my to do list.

I will not get on the scales because I can miss a couple of meals and lose weight.
So I will be pushing food and more food to get back to what is normal for me.

Trying so hard to practice all I write and believe is healing to the body, mind and soul.

Today
I will try
to just be....

It is to rain all day and a good day to just be,
work at my desk
make butternut squash soup
and look at the dust

Thank You and Pecan Pie

2012-02-03T06:00:00.003-05:00

So many special get well thoughts from my online friends.   Wish you were near - my little cottage would
be full.
What would I do without you
you are the wings beneath my feet
and you bring tears of thankfulness
to my eyes.

Thank you for listening and all your special advice.

Today there is a early morning appointment with my surgeon. A list of questions to ask. The number one - is this pain normal?   I do not have much to compare it with - the emergency gall bladder 3 years ago and I did not even know I had one.   Then appendix surgery 30 years ago,  a torn cartilage in my knee from gardening and then my 4 children.   That is not much but at the moment I am thinking this is the most painful but then maybe as time goes by we forget.

I am taking the wonderful rural transportation car to doctor's office and a friend will meet me there and bring me home.   She wanted to come and get me but I am so aware she has continual help for a bedridden husband and thought one way for her would be enough.

My first born daughter - My Laurie lives in Florida, she sent a picture of the pecan pie she made.   My recipe of over 30 years. Always comes out beautiful.   Will be nice to serve her in laws who are visiting.

Will check back in tomorrow and let you know what kind of report I was given.

Blessings sent to all of you.

May you each be Happy
May you each be Well
May you each be Safe

May you each be at Peace

Something I Took For Granted

2012-02-02T02:00:00.004-05:00

I keep remembering that I was told this was a simple procedure and the area to be repaired
was small.

Yesterday in the late afternoon
called doctor's office
to see if this much pain, discomfort and swelling was normal.
Was told everything I am going through
was normal and was quickly reminded it has only been a little over 48 hours since this simple surgery.
Bound with a velcro item that is almost like a girdle that is 12 inches wide.
So all of my small frame organs - bladder, colon, stomach are all really compressed with the swelling.
I asked - and
why did I not ask before
just took it for granted
that this would be simpler or same as the gall bladder surgery 3 years ago.
With that surgery very small instruments were used
very little swelling and not much pain afterwards..
This is an incision in middle of stomach and a larger area to go in
and put mesh and then sew up.
So I am really swollen.
With this velcro apparatus it is difficult to bend, sit straight and have to bend on side to scoot in bed
and pray for pain to leave.
So, I am not bleeding and no fever - so I was told
I am fine
and this is just going to just take a little longer then a week for me to be my normal self :)
I was told I ask a lot of questions and seem quite knowledgeable about my health matters.
Made me smile
I thought - most elders in my family lived into their 90's
and kept their mind.
Remember in the hospital asking the anesthesiologist - as he began to inject medication into the IV attached to me - "how long will this take to reach my body and take affect" he smiled and showed me.
He was right on target and I immediately felt drowsy.
My Jamie sitting through all of this and listening to her mom - never made a comment but probably thought - she sure asks a lot of questions and I wish she would be quiet :)
I might share I was awake through most of this surgery and talking and asking questions - they probably wanted me to shut up.
Liked the way this was done. Just making me drowsy, calm and then deadening the abdomen area. At the hospital in the big city they were going to use general anesthesia.

So I am healing and always healed fast in the past but ever aware I am in a rapidly aging container
Very thankful this has been done, behind me and not something I am dreading to do in the future.

Just do not feel like cooking, eating and not my usual high energy. Do not feel like reading or doing much of anything.I also am well aware that this is probably good for me - just to be..
Just me and Miss Callie
hanging out in the country - and finding Lady Bugs in every room :)
Well stocked pantry and freezer but at the moment nothing sounds appealing.
Tonight had a terrible frozen dinner - I will never buy them again
they taste like cardboard
would rather have peanut butter on crackers, hard boiled egg or anything better then this.

A friend is bringing me a plate today and hopefully appetite will return.

Special friends
thanks for listening to my complaining
and since the majority of you are younger then me
I know you need this information :)

Can hardly wait for Spring and being in my garden....

All Is Well And Handy Item

2012-02-01T11:30:00.004-05:00

I was not going to post until a friend takes me to see the surgeon on Friday.
Guess I am not very disciplined when it comes to my friend the computer.
As I sit at my computer by the window waiting for the mail carrier to bring mail to
my cottage - the desire to share returned :)

First, to my many online friends
Thank You
from the bottom of my heart
for your comments
special emails and cards.
You are appreciated, needed and more special then you will every know...

Surgery went well
An hour later then expected.
The most caring and compassionate
doctor and staff for a first time experience in my local hospital.
Surely hope I do not return.
Very very sore and I was not given prescription for
pain medication when I left for home. Was given a pain shot
and told to take Tylenol for pain. Also was not given an
antibiotic prescription - was told they gave that to me through
IV while in hospital.
Yesterday was so sad, sore and the thoughts will I ever be "me" again
In the last several hours I have started moving around more
and I know I am on the
road to recovery.
Thankful this is behind me, looking forward to Spring gardening
and surely hope all is well when I see doctor on Friday.
I thank my Jamie for being with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love this small home
that I began planning in my mind
about 4 years ago.
Very few inside walls, very open and part has vaulted ceiling.
With the openness and the two story ceiling
it looks larger then the actual square footage.
Do wish my bathroom was a bit
larger and would like a little more storage space.
I did not arrive in time for this framing project and my
closet is larger then my bathroom and
should have been the other way around.
But fine since just the one closet for One Woman
for all seasons
of my old but not fine wearing apparel.
Had an idea of something I had seen
advertised in the past. Basically they are
advertised for travel but I ordered one from
Amazon and hung on inside of small
linen closet. This sure beats fishing through
a basket for an item.
I like it.
Hope it does not fall off the door :)

Waiting For Spring

2012-01-27T07:07:00.001-05:00

At dawn
what do I see?

The garden is sleeping
and waiting for Spring

A few plants never
went to sleep :)

For a few days
I am giving the computer a rest
Be back next week.

Think on this.....

~~As I grow older, may I be kind to myself
As I grow older, may I accept joy and sorrow
As I grow older may I be happy and at peace~~

"Aging is a Spiritual Practice" by Lewis Richmond

Miracles

2012-01-26T06:00:00.003-05:00

I have always believed in miracles
At the moment
reading a book that most
classify as a children's book.
Warm and real, packed with
country magic, family love and
people to remember.

In some ways it reminds me
of magic times of discovery,

wandering through my woods at this time of life,
simpler times with my youngest daughter,
dreams I had in past years.

On a January afternoon I smiled
as I read
"the time between Christmas
and spring is always the
longest time of the year."

"Miracles on Maple Hill"
by Virginia Sorenson

Aisling - Whatever the Weather
Thank you

Going to pass this book on to my two youngest granddaughter's.
They both love to read. Hope they enjoy it as much as grandma did :)

I Think I Am A Slow Learner

2012-01-25T06:30:00.001-05:00

There comes a point
in your life when you realize

Who matters
Who never did,
Who won't anymore
and who will

So, don't worry
about people from your past

There's a reason why
they didn't make it
to your future....

Not long ago
received this in the mail
as part of a larger message

It says a lot
thought I would post
this morning....

They Know How To Live

2012-01-24T11:24:00.029-05:00

First image - Miss Callie
Second image was on AOL website this morning.

Wish I could do this occasionally.

Today is tidy the yard,
pile branches to be burned later
spread straw that I picked up earlier from a neighbor on my new
Spring project of a no till garden - hopefully this will save me work.
empty trunk of car that holds bird seed, dog food and 4 bags of mulch that I picked up for $1 a bag
vacuum garage
clean garage windows
rehang bamboo shade that blew off of hooks on screen porch
have helper show me how to remove vacuum bag from new vacuum
Move a big dead log - we can roll - that once a month grass cutter - moved onto my buttercup bed
my helper is slightly handicapped and rides a bicycle
to my property
Use him 4 hours once a month
Thankful for him

A Different January

2012-01-23T16:00:00.004-05:00

The terrible storm system that was predicted for my area - missed me.
There was a lot of rain and I have limbs on the ground from the old trees everywhere
so there must have been a lot of wind - but it did not wake me up.

On my trip to local town this morning I noticed that many of the fields are full of
newly purchased cows. Stopped in the middle of the road and took a picture of this fine
cow..... Wonder in this farming community if this is more

profitable then planting in the fields.
When I lived in the old farm house I bottle fed 4 baby calves years later when cows were sold
I had a dozen or more.
I can still hear their cries as they loaded them to take to stockyard. They were all pets. Sad memory...

When I returned home and as I unloaded truck I noticed a few things

Buttercups emerging
Lilac bush bursting with buds
Plants at the edge of the woods are surfacing
Many of my herbs continued to flourish
Picture is of parsley
Rosemary, lavender, thyme, sage are all
still green.

So at present time - this is a different kind of January.

Peaceful Morning

2012-01-22T06:21:00.005-05:00

What I see
when I step outside

Could anything
be more
beautiful ?

No words to describe
the peace I feel
or the praise
in my heart
for our creator....

From Italy - Use 3/4 Cup Sugar For Apple Yogurt Cake

2012-01-21T16:29:00.008-05:00

http://cuocicucidici.blogspot.com/

A blog I read about once a week
the apple yogurt cake looked so good and simple
but did not understand
the 150 g of sugar
guess I could have looked up.
Made a comment and within
an hour EliFla
responded.
It is 3/4 cup of sugar.

Said a hug was being sent to me
and think of all the trees
I was meeting on my road :)

Computer is great for One Woman
who "today" feels like she lives
in the wilderness.....

Thanks to one far over the ocean....

For recipe in English - scroll down.......

I have all of the ingredients on hand
and may make it tomorrow.

Sad Timbering

2012-01-20T05:30:00.007-05:00

As I drive my country road for the last several weeks
More then usual as I am in the process of exploring changing
my doctor from the big city to local small town.

On my road I keep noticing the pile of newly cut logs
growing.
Row after row of newly cut huge trees.
Gives me a sense of sadness
as I drive by.

Yet, I remember, with shame
that this was something I once did.

Before selling the old farm house
as a means of additional income
I had some of my woods timbered.

The memory still so vivid of the result.
Cut tree after tree was piled in the nearby field.
When they had all been taken off
I went to the woods
and cried at what I saw.
The tops covered the floor of the woods.
Paths I once walked no longer could be seen.
I remember telling my son, before his visit
that it looked like a war zone.

Soon after the timbering
he made a visit and
he walked with me.
I remember his sad voice as he spoke to me
his reply was "please never do this again."

............................................................................................................................

~~If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
We might, if they screamed all the time for no good reason~~ Jack Handey

~~I never saw a discontented tree. They grip the ground as though they liked it~~ John Muir

May I Ask - What Do You Eat ?

2012-01-19T05:30:00.004-05:00

This was yesterday...

Breakfast - Old fashion Oates with chopped apple, raisins, walnuts, brown sugar and milk. 1 mango and 3 cups of green tea.

Later - An Ensure - for several years this is an addition during the day. Sometimes make a smoothie
with yogurt, fruit and soy protein powder.

Lunch - Potato soup (with addition of last two garden turnips, chopped carrot, celery, garlic and onion) with chopped collard greens and bacon on top. Fruit tea and two orange cookies with milk

Later a sundae with vanilla ice cream and warm Carmel sauce.   If I do not have this then I have several pieces of candy or some nuts.

Evening Meal - same potato soup, fruit tea and small piece of chocolate cake

Now this looks sufficient to me.  Scale has not budged off of 108 lbs in several years. I do not want to lose anymore. Over the last few years I have lost
5 lbs and cannot seem to gain them back. In my younger years I always gained 4 or 5 lbs during Christmas holidays - not anymore.   Might add that my son who teaches Yoga in Thailand, tells me that most of his female students are small like his mom and he thinks my weight is fine for 5 ft 2...

Youngest daughter reminds me that my portions seem small to her :)

All of this plus a handful of supplemental vitamins and a blood pressure pill

I want to stay healthy through these "old" years.

I miss so much walking and working outside, the cold weather bothers me to much to walk outside and after all I do inside do not feel like driving to local town to walk on indoor track - Spring I can hardly wait for you to return.

Oh, 3 or 4 nights a week when I wake up at midnight I will have a cup of hot chocolate or yogurt :)

Now soup would have been complete if I had made my 1/2 pan of cornbread - finally mastered half

my recipe that is real good...it took a while - using my mother's small iron skillet.

January Dawn

2012-01-18T06:30:00.003-05:00

I opened the door
to let Miss Callie out

Stepped onto
the deck
this crisp cold morning

Yesterday it was 60 degrees
this morning in the 20's
weather you are
up and down
daily

Looked up at the sky
beautiful....

"Why should I explore the world
when there is so much to explore
between the road and my own doorstep?"
~~Thoreau~~

Thoughts For The Day

2012-01-16T06:00:00.003-05:00

It is only when we silence the blaring sounds of our daily existence
that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us,

as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.
~K.T. Jong~

Life is a process of becoming, a continuous state that we must go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it.
This is a kind of death.
~Anais Nin~

This day "One Woman" will remember
she is equal portions of iron heart and frightening vulnerability.
To be kind to myself.
Rest more
Do things that bring joy
and surround myself with positive people.

....image sent to grandma from my "Jessica" of a special one in her life...

Lady Bugs A Sign Of Good Luck

2012-01-15T04:45:00.003-05:00

I wonder when did you come inside

At 10:00 AM
one morning last week

the wind is howling
the rain falling
like the temperatures

Look where I found you
on my computer keyboard

A sure sign of Good Luck

What do I do with you
I know
I will put you on a shelf
by the window

I will smile
and remember
good luck
is coming my way....

Chocolate Sheet Cake - Since You Asked

2012-01-14T05:50:00.003-05:00

2 cups sifted flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 sticks margarine
1 cup water
4 tablespoons cocoa
1/2 cup buttermilk                                                                            S
2 eggs well beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla

Icing
1 stick margarine (I use butter)
4 tablespoons cocoa
6 tablespoons milk
1 box (16 ounces) powdered sugar - sometimes I add more powdered sugar to make icing thicker :)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup chopped nuts (I use walnuts)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 13 x 9 - 2 inch deep pan ( I use one slightly larger)
Sift together flour, sugar, soda and cinnamon. Place in small saucepan margarine, water
cocoa and bring to boil, pour into flour mixture and mix well. Add buttermilk, eggs, and vanilla, Pour into prepared pan and bake for 25 - 30 minutes (until springs back when touched - cake will be soft)
Spread with warm icing.

Icing - while cake is baking - place margarine or butter, cocoa, and milk in small saucepan, mix and bring to boil. Remove from heat and add sugar, vanilla, nuts. If too thick, add some more milk. Spread on warm sheet cake.

From "The Nashville Cookbook" Specialties of Cumberland Region - my copy I wrote inside when I bought in 1976. At that time I lived at the Old Farm House with my youngest daughter "Jamie" and my only son.   Oh - time - where have you gone....

I have made this cake more times then I can remember. Always a favorite and never fails to receive
compliments.

Hint - I rarely keep buttermilk on hand - I put vinegar in the milk and let it sit 5 minutes.

Busy Morning And First Snow

2012-01-13T05:30:00.001-05:00

Cold, wind blowing and a little snow predicted.

Cauliflower soup was made. She is always changing recipes. Instead of using Kale she used the remainder of her Collard Greens, Instead of Tarragon which she did not have she used her Rosemary and Thyme.
No addition of white wine - none on hand. This time she put ingredients in the blender. Kind of bland even with garlic and onions and she put in some Tabasco. Made it just right.

Then the chocolate sheet cake was made. Planned on making next week and freezing half. Like to keep something on hand in case some one comes by.   Usually she eats the whole thing herself.   Oh this is the best recipe she has been making for 40 years, a family favorite and so easy.

The project of sorting recipes, putting them in plastic sheets and in a binder - has begun. A must as some favorites are beginning to be so stained and worn they are hard to read.
For many years the thought of making a cookbook for children.
There are just too many recipes and the binders will be available whenever they visit.

The snow started after lunch and the pickup windshield was so icy she could hardly see to drive to
the road for mail.

Her mother wore a big rain bonnet when it rained and she vowed she would never wear one of those things.
One of the items she picked up at her mother's home after her death was her rain bonnet.   The rain bonnet is something she wears at times like this.
At a younger age she would never have put this on - now it makes her smile....

Enough news from One Woman who lives in a cottage at the edge of the woods.

Oh, I think I am going to experiment with a no till garden this year.   My garden is so small but supplies all she need and then some.   Sure would be nice not to hoe weeds....

Cedar Incense

2012-01-12T05:28:00.008-05:00

I miss the wood burning fire place and wood stove that was part of many past years.   I kept a fire going on cool Fall evenings, through the Winter and into rainy days of Spring. The basket near by was always full of wood and on the side porch a little red wagon was handy with more wood.  In the evening I would pull my chair up as close as I could get and just sit.  Sit looking at the flames, soaking in the warmth of the fire with not a thought on my mind.
Nothing can compare to a wood fire burning in a fire place.

Sitting still is something I find very difficult to do.   Why? You would think by now it would be easier for me in these last years.    Why the constant doing? But then I like an orderly and neat home and on a nice day I am outside looking to see if anything is peeking through the earth, picking up limbs that continually fall from the old trees and searching for a new camera challenge. An early riser and I am not doing well with not turning on computer first thing in the morning.   Seems that is when an inspiration for writing occurs and also I am excited to see if there is an email from one of my children or grandchildren.

On being still,  I am so very slightly better because of my practice of mindfulness but I am far from my goal.    So many books are piled by my old leather chair and every morning I tell myself I will read later in the day. With busyness the day is soon over and I am too weary to read.
Now if we ever have some days where I am literally snowed in - I will read all day....

There are gas logs in this cottage and I rarely turn them on.   If we have some snow then I might as it gives a little atmosphere.

I miss the special smell of wood burning and guess that is one reason I like burning incense.   What is burning at the moment
is Cedar and there is a slight woodsy smell in this room.

I think of my son in a far away land as this incense burns.   Memories of walking into his small home
and the scent of incense gave me the idea of beginning this practice.

This is a new burner
last year used an old blue flower pot.
I think I like it better
will retrieve from the outside gardening table
Need some sand for the flower pot and on next trip to local town I will purchase a small bag.

An hour later - have been trying to remember the woodsy scent "mens product" that I could not
get enough of many years ago.   "Aremis" just came to mind.   I loved the soap for myself in the winter
time.
Use to buy these
products for the father of my children.   I think I am going to look it up as it seems to go with this
cottage in the woods.   Think many of the memories have totally died other then the wonderful
woodsy scent.

My 6 year Old Granddaughter's New Year Goal

2012-01-11T12:00:00.001-05:00

Oh if my life was this simple :)
Sweet girl
you make your grandma smile....

Tuscan White Bean Soup with Collard Greens

2012-01-10T11:00:00.006-05:00

An easy soup to make
and so healthy.

Since it was a busy day yesterday
with a new doctor to visit and blood work,
not feeling the best today
I just made this.....

Over time I have experimented with different greens
and since I bought Collard Greens yesterday
this is what I will use.

Onion cooked in olive oil until translucent
in same pan I add some chopped carrot,
celery and garlic.
Cook about 3 to 5 minutes
put in large pan
Add to 2 cans of white beans that you rinse many times.
sometimes I will mash 1/2 of the beans.
Add chicken or vegetable broth.
Simmer 10 or 15 minutes
Now add a bunch of chopped collard greens
that you have washed, removed tough stem and chopped.
Cook until wilted and how done you want them.
I usually go about 15 minutes.
Add some Rosemary and Thyme (still in my winter garden)
and a splash of Balsamic Vinegar.
In my freezer I have some chopped ham and polish sausage
could add a handful of either of these
may not
or sprinkle some chopped bacon and

Romano cheese on top (this is what I have on hand)

30 minutes later
I want to share
Just had a bowl of this soup
it is delicious..
Also I halfed the recipe for me
using 1 can of beans
and half the bunch of collard greens.
Lunch today and will have this evening
and lunch tomorrow.

Grandma

2012-01-08T05:30:00.000-05:00

This post was written 3 years ago today. My older grandchildren have not seen this - so this is for them.

Beatrice (changed to Bertie) Ellington Hartgrove. - 12/17/1896 - 11/28/1987 Grandma, that is what I always called her. She was my maternal grandmother. I can remember spending time with her during my young years the summers I would come to Tennessee. I enjoyed visiting her home in the country. She loved flowers and I guess the first gardener in the family that left a desire within me to one day have a garden. I can remember the many different varieties in her yard and how she would take the heel of her shoe and dig out a weed she spotted. She had a small garden house that was filled with African Violets. I would say that is where a part of my deep passion for nature and flowers comes from. Especially since I was raised in an apartment building with hardly a blade of grass in sight. Memories of the fresh milk from the cow that my grandfather milked. The cream would rise to the top and she would make a plate of fresh butter. I had never seen this done before or since that time. The best butter I have ever tasted. I remember that!

The only grandfather I ever knew I learned later in life was not my real grandfather. His name was John Crowe, he lived a military life which included World Wars 1 and 11 and months in France. His retirement years were spent with my grandmother on the farm I visited while growing up. I remember the deep affection they had for each other. The strong love was so apparent. My grandmother married young and had two daughters, my mother and my Aunt Bea. The marriage did not last for many reasons and that is another story at another time. When she married again it was to this grandfather. They had two daughters, my Aunt Betty and Johnnie.
As I go through this family history file on this early morning there is so much I do not know. So many names of people that are a part of my biological makeup or DNA, whichever is the correct way to describe it. My real grandfather's name was Robert Carmichael who lived in Lexington, Kentucky. 10/12/1892 - 10/13/1976. He remarried and had a daughter and 3 sons. Relatives I never knew existed. At times in the past I would wonder about them. When this was shared with me I had thoughts of driving to Lexington. Just a thought that soon left my mind. Here I had a grandfather and aunts and uncles I never knew. A cousin of mine who has done extensive genealogy searching, sent me some of his discoveries. Interesting that it goes back to the Revolutionary War.
So much of this information about my mother's real father has only become available to me since my grandmother's death. All of this was a subject that was never discussed while she was living. Wonder what other secrets are in the family?
So maybe some of my memories, information and the file that this One Woman keeps will be interesting to one of my grandchildren. Anyway, I feel that I should document all I can. Guess I have been assigned the keeper of memories for my family. Some information shared from One Woman on her Journey Through This Life

6:50 AM - jUST RECEIVED EMAIL THAT MY SON ARRIVED SAFELY IN THAILAND

SO MOM CAN CONTINUE MORE LIGHT HEARTED THROUGH THIS DAY. ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE MY SPECIAL 3 YEAR OLD WITH ME TODAY. WRITING WITH A THANKFUL HEART!!!!

Lunch statement from Amelia. Spotting my stack of journals "is that your homework grandma".

January Shadows Have Arrived

2012-01-05T05:30:00.003-05:00

A year ago I wrote about the January sun making beautiful early morning shadows on the walls of this cottage.
Posted some pictures.
It has started again.
January and the sun shining in the windows
making shadows - they are beautiful
As of yet no winter
In fact - a week of 50's predicted.
I can see Spring on the horizon

"The mocking bird
opens his throat
among the thorns
for his own reason...

Your clocks, he says plainly
which are always ticking
do not have to be listened to"

~~Mary Oliver~~

It Was Good

2012-01-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

Nothing has tasted very good to me in a long time.
With this Sjogrens dry mouth
there is just not much flavor to anything.

Well it changed yesterday....
I made Butternut Squash soup
it was so good.
My same recipe but with an addition
of thyme and sage which were still in
my garden.

With hard freeze last night
I will see at daybreak if they lived
through last night.

Some Tuscany bread warmed in olive oil
and my Zucchini bread that just came
out of the oven
It was a winner.

So little that my vegan granddaughter
Sarah - can eat at grandma's
But she would have enjoyed this soup.
Wished you were here...

Country Transportation

2012-01-02T05:30:00.005-05:00

With my decision of moving to the country, not being in the city close to health facilities and a distance from
my children
I started checking to see if there were services available in this rural area that I was not familiar or
aware of.
I found Cumberland Transit.
Transportation for people in rural areas.   It covers a number of rural counties in Tennessee and my
county is one of them.
You call several days prior to when you need them, schedule your time and they pick you up at your home and take
you to your destination.    Also when you are ready to return home you call them and within an
hour they pick you up and take you home.
Now, I heard some say "if you need me let me know" but I do not respond to this.   Independent  and when someone is sincere you do not have to ask. But then following my heart is what I try to do.
Last week was an appointment with an oral surgeon that I was not comfortable with. So many unsettling experiences have been shared with me about the pulling of a wisdom tooth
and I wish I had not listened.
It was also a rainy and cold day and a good time to check this transportation source out.
I was picked up at 8:30 in the morning in a van with the nicest driver.   Onward we went to the big
city, the procedure was no problem, and the pickup call was made when I was ready to leave oral surgeons office.
My youngest daughter (Jamie, thank you) was with me and we sat in the nearby Yogurt shop waiting for the driver.
It took about an hour but I did not mind as I am a people watcher and this gave me time to sit
still - which I have difficulty doing.
A small bus arrived this time.   I was told he had to pick up someone in a small town neighboring mine and take her to my nearby small town.
I enjoyed the tour of country roads that I was not familiar with with and found it a peaceful ride as we traveled to pick up another customer.
Did take over an hour for me to arrive home but that was fine.

So now if there is a time I am not comfortable driving to the big city, I have another option.   Bottom line I will be using this service again. I could even go one way and one of my children bring me home
in case of something special.

This service for all ages, they operate week days between 8:30 and 6:00.   Have special pickups available earlier for hospital visits.

Being very independent I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this special service.

Only inconvenience might be if there were several pickups but with none on my going and only one returning I found it great.

Cumberland Transit - thank you......

New Years Day

2011-12-31T05:30:00.002-05:00

Being from the South...
My great grandmother, grandmother and mother all cooked black eyed peas and turnip greens on
New Years day.
Greens for Wealth
Black eyed peas for Health

I talk about turnip greens a lot.
The reason
I lived in the city for many years of my life
Gardening was a dream and for many years had a subscription to Organic Gardening that was on the table by my chair when I lived in the city.
So now I can garden
small scale
First time I have ever grown turnips.   Guess I am easy to please because this has brought me
a lot of pleasure as a new item in my garden.
We have not had a hard freeze so guess that is why they are still in the little garden patch.

Also most of my children are vegetarians or buy in the upscale organic markets.   So I smile as
I put on my jacket, bowl in hand along with scissors and yesterday I salvaged
just enough of this organic produce for my dinner.

Big time cleaning going on at my daughter's home.

Have a good day as 2011 ends.
I will see if the greens and peas
bring me wealth and health in 2012

May we each be
Happy, Well, Safe and at Peace
as we continue on our journey...

This Year Is Coming To A Close

2011-12-30T06:30:00.003-05:00

This post was written one year ago at this time.   Guess my sentiments and words are the same
Except for the fact holiday time was spent recovering from some kind of virus.   Also 3 days ago a wisdom
tooth was pulled.   I was nervous but it turned out no different then any other tooth that was
pulled.  A sunny and unseasonably warm day and looking forward to energy returning.
In years past my little girls would spend New Years Eve with me.   The youngest has a bad cold so
mom and dad will be home with them this year.

December 20l0.....
For all who read and sometimes comment on my journal - thank you.

No words can express what it means to this One Woman. You encourage her with your comments. She would start naming names but do not want to leave out anyone. You have become special friends. Writing, camera and computer have become an important link to the world outside of her woods.

A busy year with move to the country, garden, camera, a home sold and adjusting to the beginning of a lifestyle she use to live.

As a journey is shared - for pleasure and family, it may just give some an idea of One Woman's journey through this continuing process of aging. She is well aware that her path is totally different from that of her mother and grandmother's. Yet one trait is evident- they were strong women and she is sometimes referred to the same way.

New Years Eve and day will be spent with two youngest granddaughter's.

In the New Year that is about to begin ...

May you be Happy

May you be Well

May you be Safe

May you be at Peace

Today notice five recurring thoughts that take you away from your life as it is.

Write them down. When you have a chance, burn the paper lovingly, and let those thoughts drift away with the smoke ~~A Year Of Living Your Yoga~~

Judith Hanson Lasater

Special Morning Gift

2011-12-26T07:00:00.004-05:00

A special visitor for my son in Bangkok,Thailand.
The young woman who owns and teaches at her
yoga studio in Nashville - is visiting with her family.
Aretha, thank you for the image I found on
my computer early this morning.
Also, that he is happy, well and an excellent teacher...

Wish I was there.....

April 2008 - A New Beginning

2011-12-21T17:15:00.003-05:00

April in 2008 was the first entry into my journal world.   Had only acquired a computer 2 years before that.
Really did not want one and now I wonder "what would I do without this special friend." It has brought me so much joy, challenge, a learning experience, but also some frustrations as I continue to learn. I realize  I know so little about this wonderful machine.

I wondered if I would have anything to post.   Looks like with over 800 entries there was no lack for words.
I began writing when I moved from the country to the city. I shared about this experience and really planned on spending the rest of my days there.  I tried to adjust but my heart was not in it.   I consider it a gift that I was allowed to return to my heart's home.  My cottage is perfect for One Woman and occasional
visitors.

Hopefully this is where
I will always reside and someday my ashes will be spread throughout the woods. Can't think of a more wonderful place to be.

My grandchildren and even children know a little bit more about their mother and grandmother by reading her rambling words.   When we write I believe we share from the heart and use different words then we would use if we were talking face to face.   That is the way it is with me.   I read what I write and sometimes think "did I write that?"

So many special online friends from many states and other countries - they found me and I found them online and we have shared and responded to one another.

I look back and many who responded almost 4 years ago are still sending me comments.

I wonder sometimes if we met in person would we be as drawn to one another as we are through
our writing?

New goal to not write as much, I think I have shared most about this One Woman.   Will continue looking for special images to photograph and will be sharing about my gardening   A special poem or book will come to mind.   Maybe there will still be much to share.    I know as I grow older just do not want to begin
repeating myself and for you to witness some of what happens in the aging process. Then I have the thought that you would see how One Woman continues on through this journey in life.

Christmas Eve, family will be visiting. Then following week dental work, then appointment with a specialist
that I have been avoiding.   Really do not think I will learn anything different but have been urged to do this and I will see who is right on this subject. Surgery is scheduled for 3rd week of January. Who knows, maybe a miracle and I can postpone....

Wishing everyone blessings
during this special Season
The blessings you desire and need.
From my heart I thank you for your friendship

Grandma's Little Girls

2011-12-19T15:01:00.006-05:00

We have had our hair cut
Been to grocery
Had lunch

The youngest loves being in
my bedroom and picking up
different memory objects
and asking about them.

She found my basket where
I tuck all cards and pictures

Asked why I had a knife on my desk :)
told her it was a letter opener and
showed her how it works..

A picture taken of me years ago
she tells me "grandma I like that picture"

A special time
I love having them with me

Time goes by so quickly....

Another December Evening

2011-12-18T17:56:00.003-05:00

In a few hours
the arrival of a new day.
Not many left in this year.
Soon a new year will begin
Wonder what it will bring?

Hopefully
Happiness, Health, Safety and Peace
for all....

Potato Soup And Praise Of Craziness

2011-12-16T15:00:00.004-05:00

A cold, rainy and windy day
Feels like it could snow.

On a recent trip to the big city
I stopped in the upscale bake shop
bought my special bread
and noticed their soup for the day
potato with an addition of turnips and mushrooms.
Now I do not usually like any soup but my own
but ordered a cup - it came with a crusty piece of bread.
Oh, it was so good.
So, today at noon I made my potato soup,
was able to find 4 small turnips in the garden
had fresh mushrooms on hand
I made my soup a little different.
It was good.....

~~~~~On cold evenings
my grandmother
with ownership of half her mind...
the other half having flown back to Bohemia..

spread newspapers over the porch floor
so, she said, the garden ants could crawl beneath,
as under a blanket, and keep warm,

and what shall I wish for, for myself,
but, being so struck by the lightning of year,
to be like her with what is left, that loving.

~~In Praise Of Craziness, Of A Certain Kind~~ Mary Oliver

Protected And Winter Solstice Is Approaching

2011-12-15T06:00:00.002-05:00

For some reason this image
gives me a sense of peace
and protection.

The days are so short
the nights so long.
Time is approaching December 22.
Predicted time for days to begin
little by little to be a little longer.
I like the word Winter Solstice...

After many trips to big city for tests,
all involved to check out this container
for my spirit and soul - seems I may need
repair work on area where 2 years ago
gall bladder surgery was performed.

Very independent, not wanting to be a burden
and a family that is
super busy but it will come together.

Still not sure if I will have this done.
I will take one day at a time
moment by moment and the answer
will come.

Today I am picking turnip greens for freezer :)

So an interference on my path of simplicity
and mindfulness.

Life is full of surprises, so we need to just
accept them and go on.

As I look at the above image
I can feel the warmth and security that
that the baby birds feel under the wings
of one who loves them....

~~He will cover you with his feathers
     He will shield you with his wings
     His faithful promises
     are your armor and protection~~      Psalms 91:4

Beauty In The Sky And From The Earth

2011-12-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

Picking turnip greens and a couple of turnips for evening meal on a crisp middle December evening
Looked up at the sky
Beautiful
Went inside for camera
pictures just now downloaded
and not disappointed....

Life is Good.....

Afghan

2011-12-13T05:20:00.013-05:00

This afghan was purchased close to 40 years ago. Bought it when when family lived in the really big house.
Fall and Winter it is now on the end of my bed.
Very heavy and if extra warmth is needed it comes in handy

I always have the same thoughts in my mind ......
the needles used to crochet this afghan must have been huge
and I always wonder who made something

I have enjoyed for many years.

Many years ago an elderly lady taught me how to crochet.   Afghan's were made for the children, grandchildren
and a few special people.  Anna Lee is no longer living and what wonderful memories I have of her. I never left her home without a piece of a plant or something she had cooked.
She did not drive and was always home. Cooking, gardening and all kinds of beautiful handwork occupied her time. She taught me a very simple pattern and I have always wished I had someone
close by to instruct me once again.   I think I have forgotten how to sit and crochet.

There is nothing more peaceful then on a very cold or rainy day to sit by the fire and crochet. Absorbed in the counting process, not another thought would enter my mind.    Not realizing at that time in my life that I was practicing a form of mindfulness.

Mindfulness now is practiced with an awareness of what I am doing.

Notes On My Desk

2011-12-12T05:30:00.010-05:00

I am always copying special words
and putting on my desk by computer.

Glance at them on and off through the day

This morning I see.....

Breathing in I am aware of my heart
Breathing out I smile to my heart....

I have to eat, drink and work in a way
that preserves my health and well being....

Facing something unknown in the future
I copied this

It is OK to feel what I am feeling
and in this moment I am perfectly safe
I am living in the moment
this precious moment....
(Dear Laura, thank you for these words)

Blessed are the merciful
for they will be shown mercy Mathew 5:7

Let us be silent, that we may hear
the whispers of the gods - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If one's life is simple, contentment has to come. Simplicity is
extremely important for happiness. Having few desires,
feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital - satisfaciton
with just enough food, clothing, and shelter to protect
yourself. Finally, there is an intense delight in
abandoning faulty states of mind and in cultivating
helpful ones in meditation. The Dalai Lama

A new book has arrived and sits on my desk
"Van Gogh The Life"
on a rainy day I will begin to read.

Incense

2011-12-10T12:30:00.003-05:00

This post was written a little over a year ago.
Have started burning incense again
and love the smell.
Using healing incense and
am trying something new
a Tibetan Cedarwood Incense.
I now am using an wooden incense holder
instead of using a flower pot filled with sand :)
I loved that blue flower pot and the bottom fell out .

Many times entering my son's small home there would be the most wonderful fragrance.

In the fall and winter he always burned incense.

This practice began in my home about 4 years ago.

Now that Fall has arrived in the woods - I love the scent of incense burning and find it comforting.

A wood burning fireplace is missed and guess this is something that has a woodsy scent.

Usually purchase a type that claims to have healing qualities and is made by Tibetan monks.

To capture a picture of the smoke rising was challenging.

A cold and very windy day. Some of the leaves surrounding the cottage are blowing away.

Chili on the stove and a new addition was used - my fresh basil.

Shining Through The Trees

2011-12-09T17:15:00.014-05:00

So dark here in the country
but the wondrous brightness
of the moon is shining
through the trees.

Made me smile at the
end of a busy day....

Very aware that
winter solstice is 2 weeks away.

What a welcome to have longer
days begin.

At the moment the days are so short
and nights so long....

December Sky

2011-12-08T05:20:00.003-05:00

Yesterday at 4:30
almost dark
the wind was blowing
It was bitter cold
But look at the sky.

Breathtaking....

I receive "Tricycle Daily Dharma" each morning.

An excerpt from one of Jack Kornfield's books "there are two kinds of suffering - the suffering you run away from and follows you everywhere and the suffering you face and truly find liberation."

A busy day ahead and it is too early in the morning for me to give this statement the thought it deserves and to also read several pages about some of the author's books.

Most of us have felt uncomfortable being compassionate with ourselves and dealing with our own hearts with love - and that is where it all begins.

That Was Then and This Is Now

2011-12-07T05:30:00.010-05:00

I just finished ready Billy Graham's new book "Nearing Home"
It shares that his beloved wife Ruth would make the comment
"That was then and this is now"

I read these words
and they sure spoke to my heart.

For One Woman who is in her 3 score ten years.
Now is a good time.

I still smile at some memories that come to mind
but many are becoming more difficult to even remember.

My oldest granddaughter wrote me a note recently that shared
her special memories of when she would visit the old farm house.
Playing in the orchard, times with Miss Molly my little dog,
riding the tractor, fishing in the pond and she reminded me of the
little bike I bought for her that had streamers hanging down from
the handle bars.

Now different memories are being made for my two youngest
grandchildren. Times at grandma's walking the paths in the woods.
The fire pit that they like to stand by, running with Miss Callie,
the clocks in every room ticking and their comments that
it is so quiet here in this cottage and so dark at night because
there are no city street lights. They will remember grandma
living in a cottage at the edge of the woods.

My children have different memories. The times spent on a
farm where they grew up. Horses and cows grazing in the fields,
swimming pool and my son's special go cart.

Then the memories of the really big home that was featured
in Southern Living magazine. The country club dinners, the
trips to Jamaica, private school and all the perks of this
upscale lifestyle.

My older grandchildren have memories of grandma alone
at an old farm house, homes she built and now recently
returned
to the country in a cottage at the edge of the woods

What in the world would have happened
without the encouragement from the strong
women in her family - her mother,a special aunt,
grandmother's and it seems life always brought
a special person along at just the right time.
Now they are all gone and
may she be as strong as they were and encourage
the generations that are coming behind her.

Wonders never cease - through all the
ups and downs she never gave up and
life continues to unfold.

That was then and this is now.....

~~~~regarding the picture of me and 4 children in the snow
my youngest Jamie - in the picture with me and my two youngest grandchildren
had not been born as of yet~~~

A Poem

2011-12-06T06:00:00.002-05:00

What I want to know, please, is
what is possible, and what is not.
If it is not, then I am for it.
My heart is out of its flesh-phase.
I am done with all of it, the habits, the patience,
Whoever I was, it is growing hazy and unforgettable.

Whoever I am, it is for mere appearance's sake.
It is for coin, and foolishness,
and I am thinking of something better.

All morning it has been raining.
In the language of the garden, this is happiness.
The tissues perk and shine.

Truly this is the poem worth keeping.
A mossy house anyone with any sense would enter
as soon as the soul begins
to desire the impossible.

I have never felt so young.

~~The Garden~~ by Mary Oliver

It is raining this morning in the woods and her poems never fail to speak to my heart.

May you have a day filled with happiness, health, safety and peace.

From one who lives at the edge of the woods.....

Waiting

2011-12-04T17:56:00.004-05:00

Waiting for the phone to ring
or
an email.
That my dear ones are close
to home
I am not good at waiting
Oh,
while I am typing
a new Email has arrived

What I have been waiting for....

They have landed and close to home

Now I can breathe deeply and smile....

Thankful

Breathe Deep - Still So Much To Learn

2011-12-02T15:30:00.006-05:00

A special brunch this morning.
Do not like leaving the woods for events like this
or really any event.
But this is a special friend who invited me.
I almost felt like the guest of honor as she introduced me
and asked me to give a blessing before our meal.

She also asked me to go in the room where her
husband was in a hospital bed
and pray with him.
I have never seen a room so neat and clean
He was wearing a beautiful red striped shirt.
Not a wrinkle in it.
She told him who I was as she removed the
oxygen from his nose.
He smiled....

It took me a while to calm down from the early morning
event on the way to her home

Driving peacefully down the road
I looked up
A police car was following me
Just thought he was out cruising
until the lights started flashing

I pulled over
heart beating rapidly as I did not
want to arrive late at my destination.

The officer took his time
sitting in his vehicle it seemed like
5 minutes.
Walked over
and I replied "what have I done"
he said the new year car tag was not
on my license plate.

It was purchased just 2 weeks ago
and I put it on my license plate.

Guess some are being stolen as I
I do not think it could have
fallen off.

So I was told that after I went to
my friend's to go to local courthouse
and report and secure another one.

I was the last one arriving to the brunch
and I wanted to be first.

It was time consuming to
secure another sticker and
a cost of $16.50. not much
but the whole situation seemed
to unsettle me.

Guess the One Woman has a
lot to learn about staying calm.

At times like these
I always remember my son's advise.

~Walk slow, breath and smile~~

sometimes it is easier said then done.....

Festive Sage

2011-12-02T06:00:00.003-05:00

I still have an abundance of Sage
There is nothing like fresh Sage in your
dressing for Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanks to Sharon
I just found another way to use.

Cream cheese spread thin on plastic wrap
spread with Sage leaves
rolled up, refrigerated and later sliced thin
for special
crackers or bread.
This looks very festive....

http://sharonlovejoy.blogspot.com/

Needed

2011-12-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

A much needed journey
for two loved ones.
Thankful for safe flight
Enjoy
Return home
rested and
at peace
Thank you for the image
Send you my love...

Herb Oil

2011-11-30T06:00:00.016-05:00

My neighbor
who lives in a home
I built 12 years ago
shares her New York Times
weekend paper with me

When I thought I would try
city life
she found this home for sale
on Internet
A retired professor
moved here from the East..

Looking for a less expensive lifestyle

In this paper I found

A recipe for
Herb Oil
caught my eye.
I have all of the ingredients
wonder what I could use it on?

1 bunch of fresh Thyme
1/2 bunch of Rosemary
1 bunch of Sage
5 cloves of Garlic, peeled
1 tbsp Kosher salt
2 1/2 cups of Virgin Olive Oil

all into a food processor
pulse to combine
add splash of olive oil
place mixture in jar and add rest of olive oil
Lasts about a week.

The Florida daughter and soninlaw
eat a lot of baked potatoes with
avocado, garlic and olive oil.

Wonder if they would like this?
But then they do not have mom's
herbs growing outside their door....

Early Morning

2011-11-29T06:30:00.002-05:00

Cold and damp morning.
It has started to SNOW....
Enya's "And Winter Came"
is echoing throughout this cottage.
All is well
With a thankful heart I begin this day.....

Uplifting And Soothing

2011-11-28T06:30:00.002-05:00

The second all day rain in the woods and another expected tomorrow.   This is a good time to finish addressing cards and wrapping gifts.   They are half of what they were in past years.
The decorations in the store room will remain untouched.    A wreath as you approach the cottage,
candles on the table, a few red flowers, small berry tree and an angel on my desk, that is about it.
The unadorned woods surrounding this cottage are magnificent and all that this
One Woman needs.

Since receiving the "Temple Coming Home" CD from Amazon,  it is listened to it on off throughout the day and even as I prepare for bed.   The music and the words are so peaceful and even though most of the words I cannot
pronounce and are unfamiliar I find they impart peace to my soul and I believe inner healing.
Listening to their soft words I find that I begin to slow down and feel peace.
Wish I had a load speaker and could play it throughout the woods !!
Reading the enclosed circular I discovered this is their first CD - hopefully there will be others.

I learned about this CD from a special friends sharing - Laura
you can find her at   http://orli-shines.blogspot.com/

An Invitation

2011-11-26T05:30:00.019-05:00

A book of poetry arrived yesterday.
Written by a special young woman.
I have read her profound words for several years.
Relating to them so deeply that I have
always felt like a mother and a soul mate to
Kaveri.

Still finding it amazing that through purchasing a computer 5 years ago
that I feel so connected to one who writes, practices medicine and lives in California.
Here I live in the edge of the woods in Tennessee and who
would think that I over the years I adopted her in my heart.

Always have known that a book
would soon be on the way.

I am so proud of her quest to find answers
not through religious texts, any particular person or popular dogma,
but through her own experiences.

Can be purchased through aninvitationpoetry@gmail.com/
or sometime in January on Amazon

Early Morning Memories

2011-11-25T05:15:00.003-05:00

Cool this morning in the 30's.
Yesterday, a family day, sounds of laughter, sharing, eating at the big table, walking in the woods, sitting by the fire pit, it was a good day.
My soninlaw even picked a bag of turnip greens to take home and cook.
Early this morning I will finish cleaning the kitchen and items that are only used on these special times.
Several loads of wash, cloth napkins, table cloth, hand towels and my walking in the woods clothes.
I love using cloth napkins and very seldom use paper. They are all getting so old but they are special to me. The napkins on the table yesterday were
purchased at an after Christmas sale, probably over 45 years ago. The table cloth was purchased on a trip to Jamaica, almost 50 years ago. I use to be so cautious when using it. Still somewhat careful but want to enjoy it. Place mats same age are placed under each plate for a little protection. Everything I use is getting so old and as I place them on the table
so many memories surface.
As each car pulled out of the long gravel drive I watch, return inside with Miss Callie and count my
blessings.
I realize more with each passing year how God has watched over me, protected me and showed his love to me in so many special ways....

Fresh Herbs For Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T07:00:00.003-05:00

Cool outside and there is a special gift of herbs that
are still thriving in my new herb garden.

What a pleasure to take my little scissors and
clip some of you to add to my Thanksgiving Dinner

Sage, Parsley, Thyme, Chives, Dill and Mint
and a vase of Rosemary for my table.

Ever Thankful for some of the special gifts
that come from living at Woodhaven.

On this special day Blessings to all far and near.
We have so much to be Thankful for....

This Time A Gift - Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-23T05:00:00.002-05:00

This is my post one year ago. The same words true this morning and it almost seems like time stands still. Menu the same except just pumpkin pie and
adding my little girl's favorite lemon ice box pie.

A busy day ahead.....

Solitude and aloneness
will wait
Personal needs
Outside and inside grooming

Doing all that can be prepared ahead
Turkey thawing
Corn bread for dressing and veggies chopped
Ready for oven, butternut squash and brussel sprouts
Little one remembered a mention of apple dumplings
Commented "grandma, I've never tasted dumplings"
So - another desert will be on the sideboard
Along with pumpkin and pecan pie
From a summer garden, corn and green beans,
potatoes and gravy
Added touch cranberry sauce and relish tray
Fresh fruit and rolls
Ice tea, coffee
Special drink for the little girls

Not being served - oyster casserole
Her son's favorite

Big table will not be full - like in the past
But they are remembered in other states
And - across the ocean

The little one's always notice the table
Special dishes, glasses, gleaming silverware,
candles glowing.
A special prayer

Thanksgiving

Dinner finished
some will look at her books and old pictures
some will rest
paths in the woods with Miss Callie
may call
a time to just be

When the last car leaves the woods ...
One Woman has her memories
happiness and sadness
for present and past.

"The only reason for time is so that
everything does not happen at once"

~Albert Einstein~

Memories

2011-11-22T16:30:00.007-05:00

Corn bread is cooling on my grandmother's biscuit board.   It has to be way over 150 years old. My mother gave it to me.   Have not used this iron skillet in a long time and the bread stuck but it does not matter since
it will be crumbled for dressing.   Sweet tea is cooling and will bake a pumpkin pie in the morning.
All is going well.   Not the massive dinner like in the past but it will touch my heart when my little ones
coming running with a hug for their grandma.

Children and grandchildren will be missed this Thanksgiving. But I can visualize them sitting at the big
table....

The corn bread recipe was given to a 27 year old as she arrived home with her third child, her baby son.   It is the recipe I have used for many years.  The corn bread tasted so good along with fresh green beans from a young neighbor.   I can still feel the warmth in my heart as she gave me that gift. Think it was the first I had ever received when arriving home with a new born.   Martha, you come to mind often over the years...

Southern Corn Bread

l beaten egg
l cup of corn meal
l cup of buttermilk
1/2 tsp baking soda
dash of salt

Poured in a hot iron skillet that has been greased with bacon drippings and baked in a 450 degree oven
until brown.

Woodhaven

2011-11-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

Home!
My very heart's desire is safe
within thy walls.
The voices of my loved ones, friends who come.
My treasured books that rest in niche serene,
All make more dear to me thy haven sweet,
Nor do my feet
desire to wander out except that
they may have the glad return at eventide.
Dear Home

Home! my very heart's contentment lies within thy walls.
Nor worldly calls hath power to turn my eye
in longing from
thy quietness. Each morn
when I go forth upon the duties of
the day I wend my way
content to know that eve will bring me
safely to thy walls again.
Dear Home

Nellie Womack

Nan thank you for sharing this poem with me.
Over and over I read the words.
It is truly me....
http://lettersfromahillfarm.blogspot.com/

Women Who've Gone Before Us

2011-11-17T05:30:00.004-05:00

This post was written almost 2 years ago.   Still so very true.   This special lady was called
yesterday as I have her so often on my mind and heart.   She never fails to respond and in a short time there was an email.
I can see her face and her special smile.

Pastor Sandy, thank you for always being there with your uplifting spirit.   I send my love and blessings
to you.....

January, 2009

One by one they were gone from her life. She wondered at times,
when your mother and grandmother are gone, where does a woman go for advice?
A thought to ponder. Especially since she tended to be a loner. Always busy and not doing what the masses were involved in. So true friendships were few and far between.
When she looked back over her life there were probably about 6 different women other then her mother and grandmother who she could share her heart with. Only a part was shared and never the whole picture. Each person knew her differently and would not understand her whole personality. At this particular time the majority of these women are no longer living. There is one person for about 14 years that she can share anything without embarrassment.
From time to time when she feels overwhelmed, depleted emotionally and needs a compassionate listener, a word of wisdom that makes sense, or just to feel loved - she still contacts this special lady.
She remembers the first time she heard her speak. A new church and she was a teacher and now a pastor. Her words were like a soothing balm. This special lady had experienced so much that had happened in her own life and probably is still happening. She understands and does not judge. So the thought always arises when she is stressed out - this special lady - was able to make it and I can also.
She almost picked up the phone yesterday and placed a call. Finally she was able to handle the emotional upheaval, sadness and questions in her heart and mind.
As she continues her list of blessings this special lady continues to be at the top of the list.
She wonders do others have someone special like this?
She wonders if others need someone like this? I think at times we all do.

Some thoughts from One Woman on her Journey Through This Life.

Life Continues With Questions

2011-11-15T17:50:00.003-05:00

Just received call from doctor's office.
Good news
CT scan showed nothing that I feared
except
site where gall bladder surgery was done two years ago.
Hernia
So - at present will watch
and sometime in future go to see surgeon who did that surgery.
Extreme fatigue - medical reason - high levels of inflammation.
Sjogren's is affecting this body in numerous ways.
Common sense reason
any woman who builds 3 homes and moves that many times in the last 8 years
and goes nonstop in her 70's
may not have good sense
and needs to slow down.
Also being of a sensitive nature - it seems with age a lot bothers me more deeply then in the past.
I really have never felt my age before this episode.
So I am probably very fortunate.
Enough shared
Ever thankful for results that just arrived.
Still have unanswered questions and no one
has time to listen
Weary of appointment and driving to the big city
for a 15 minute consultation.
I appear healthy and moving quickly
but I am very tired.
Do not like the thought of future repair on my body.
Ashamed to even say this when it is minor compared
to what could be. So forgive me for this statement

At the moment I have the thought I may never go to a doctor again
will go to the woods and sit under a tree.
On second thought have to go to dentist next week for a crown procedure...

Thanks to so many who have continually had me in their thoughts and have contacted me.
You will never know how special you are to this One Woman.

Could You Imagine

2011-11-14T15:30:00.004-05:00

My youngest granddaughter at age 6 is requesting a dictionary for Christmas.
I smile at this special request.
Christmas it will be at grandma's.

On a lighter or more serious note
according to they way you look at it.

Early this morning
Nurse opens door and calls my name.
I follow her and she request I put on gown and tells me they are going to start an IV.
Told her the information I received said no gown or IV.
Then I was told she was preparing me for MRI of the brain
What.....
To make a long story short
seems another person had the same name.
Went through admitting process
and was given two large containers of a drink that tasted like a banana milk shake - not bad.
But then remember with this dry mouth condition I do not taste much.
So apologies were in order
but I wondered if I had been just a little more nervous I might
have had an MRI of my brain
instead of scan of pelvic area.

So pleased my Jamie arrived to keep me company and found me drinking my shake and not receiving an MRI.

Just received information that EKG was fine and also blood work
There were very high levels of inflammation which goes along with Sjogrens
A miracle that I do not ache all the time.
Was offered a steroid...no way unless I am much more uncomfortable.
At present I only ache a lot when I first get up in the morning and when there
is a weather change.

Waiting for scan information...

Waiting

2011-11-12T06:00:00.002-05:00

Called doctor's office
just before closing time
yesterday
to see if results from test
had arrived.
Was told -yes - but not time
to review them.
So, I choose to think
"no news is good news"

This early morning the original me
has resurfaced.

Cat scan on Monday morning
my Jamie will keep me company
while I drink some awful drink.
Then heading home and I bet
Miss Callie will be sitting in the
drive waiting for me.

A drive through the country yesterday.
Next week will return with camera.
Saw a number of old buildings
I want to take images of.
One an old carriage house....

"In our everyday encounters, can we put our egos aside, our need to be brutally honest, and dwell for a few minutes in the mind and heart of the receiver to discern the impact our message might have. Let us seek a kinder version of truth telling. Let us search our hearts to find the most considerate way to speak our truth. Let us balance honesty with compassion"

In part from Jan this early morning jan@buddhachick...beadsofwisdom

Psalm 103

2011-11-09T05:45:00.007-05:00

The trees surrounding my cottage will soon be bare. At the moment everywhere I look the ground
is covered with leaves. The drive, stepping stones to the cottage, flower beds and little vegetable plot are all covered and protected from the coming winter.
Some leaves will be blown into the woods, some raked and many left on the garden as wonderful mulch.
Everything is beginning to rest.
The same thing is happening for One Woman.
Rest from the ongoing gardening and outside work.
Rest from much that needs to be done inside.
Rest from sharing on her journal as often.
Rest from downloading images - until soninlaw solves this problem.
I could not experience the joy of writing and my camera without this
special soninlaw and people who help me with problems...
Today will try and go at a slower pace.
Anyone that knows me is aware how difficult this is for me.
Trip to the big city doctor today.
Need to check out some new issues that have developed since last week.
All that communicate with me
know in your heart that you are special to me
and many times "the wings beneath my feet"

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower
of the field: the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its
place remembers it no more But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his
righteousness with their children's children - with those who
keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
Psalm 103 15-18

Bumper Crop of Acorns

2011-11-05T06:30:00.004-04:00

At Woodhave the
Acorns are falling like pennies from Heaven.
That is - if you are a squirrel.

They are everywhere, terrace, drive, garden, falling on cottage
and falling on my vehicle.
Have to be careful as I walk.
Hardly noticed any the last two years.
I wondered is it only me.
Googled it and
seems everywhere this is happening and many are wondering why?

I have nothing to base this on
just my deep sense of intuition
but think we are in for a bad winter.

Smart squirrels are busy storing the acorns.
They have not been visiting my bird feeders for several weeks..

A foggy morning will lead the way for a few nice days.
Continuing to clean up garden, rake leaves
in a few days and clean the overflowing gutter.

Now if some winds would arise
it sure would be a help to this One Woman.

Rainbow Morning

2011-11-04T04:50:00.001-04:00

Yesterday....
Loading my truck for errands
going to town to pick up some fence post.
Surveyor returning so I can clearly mark
one property line.
This was surveyed when I sold the old farm house
For years it did not matter about this line.
Now that I have returned home and
time is flying by so quickly it now seems
important to me to know exactly
where the line is.
Also some draining of water that I
do not like and gravel will be delivered soon.
In Spring will seed heavily and surely
this will help. May need another culvert.
Another thought it may be a perfect
place for a small pond - but do I want a
pond in that area.
There is one by the old farm house and one more created
by another home built on this property. They are
picturesque - so many projects that I did not plan to do.
Will wait until my son returns and see
what he thinks of this idea.

As I was loading truck
I looked at the sky
What joy the view of a rainbow
gives me.

I felt it was a gift from God
that all is well.....

Traditions

2011-11-03T05:17:00.009-04:00

So much has changed and is still changing.
No longer is the big table filled at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
No longer are there summer gatherings.
where my grandmother, parents, sisters, nieces and nephews and cousins
all gathered.
These gatherings always at my home.
The aunts who welcomed me into their homes and included
me in special meals - have all passed away.
So now back home in a small cottage in the woods the doors are always open.
The cabinets are filled with all the special dishes and platters used at these times.
When I know someone is visiting the pantry is full and fresh baked goods are on the counter.
The last true family gathering was just before my mother passed away and also
my youngest daughter's wedding.
I can still see her walking down the stone walkway with her dress billowing in the breeze.
A harp was playing - she was a beautiful bride and still is....
Everyone came - far and near.
So I wonder what will it take for all of mine to once again gather?
I realize some are over the ocean and some in other states - where they are starting
their own traditions.
This is wonderful and I smile for them but at times it is sad for me.
Special memories ever present in my heart, mind, times have changed
and continuing to change.
I remember so well my mother talking to my grandmother every morning and evening.
This is something I continued to do with my mother.
Always thought it would happen with me
but not so.
My children check in - but not daily, morning and night.
Many times I am invited to do something special
with my children and it seems I truly do not like leaving
my woods.
I battle with this and sometimes when I make the
effort to leave I am pleased and other times not.
Happy times and then some sad moments in my life,
guess that can be for all of us.
At this moment I am happy and at peace but miss my
children and grandchildren.
This is what happens when children grow up
start their families and are no longer living near by.

So you accept what happens as life goes on
and dwell on the happy times and try to
forget what makes you sad....

Acorn Squash

2011-11-02T05:15:00.003-04:00

I used Sharon's recipe last night.
Small portion for one and there will be enough for today.
A very small squash
a little less then half the onion and sausage.
No bread crumbs on hand and I toasted
two slices of bread, dried and crumbled.

Very tasty and gave me an idea
for an extra dish on the big table
for Thanksgiving.

I am going to look for very small squash,
Bake and fill them with a mixture of rice, mushrooms,
onion and sausage.

Sharon, thank you

http://www.owlinmaine.blogspot.com/

A Must Before The Rain and Acorn Squash

2011-11-01T15:55:00.003-04:00

Today and tomorrow almost like Spring.
Soybean field is being cut.
This is good since rain is coming in Thursday.
Love the way the field looks when it is
freshly cut.
In the morning I will walk in the field before
plowing or no till preparation for Spring.
A simple pleasure that I enjoy.

Past years my children would find arrow heads
in the clean fields.
Such excitement on their face as they ran to
to show me their treasures. My son still
has a bag of arrow heads among his
belongings here at the cottage.

I am trying a new recipe
the aroma is wonderful.
Acorn squash, onion, sausage
and covered with breadcrumbs.
Will let you know how it turns out
and more about it...

They Never Told Me

2011-10-31T06:30:00.002-04:00

Last week I started taking COQ 10.
Have read a lot about the benefits.
Also a blogger friend shared that
someone in her family who also had
Sjogrens
took this.
When I mentioned this to my daughters
two of them commented they had been
taking it for quite a while.

The only daily prescription I take is
a low blood pressure pill.
3 days ago it was 116/6l - but it
seems whenever I am upset or
stressed it goes very high.
Do have prescription medication that
I take when health issues surface.
Usually about 3 times a year for this.

Wondered what some of my friends
are taking - but 90% of you are younger
and I just started taking most of these
in the last two years.
Before that just multi vitamin and the
blood pressure pill.

In my past years
I never believed in taking vitamins.
Always of the mindset that I did
not need them that I followed
a healthy diet and lifestyle.

I think lately I should be writing with the
title "What it is like be in your seventies
when in many ways it is not much
different then in the
50' s and 60's :)

Just looked at my image
and that sure looks like a lot
that I am now taking.

Wonder - is it necessary :)

Country Road Sights

2011-10-29T17:50:00.003-04:00

Misty rain
One Woman while driving
the country roads
seems to have taken on a
new interest.
Taking images either
through vehicle window or
standing on the side of the road...

EMBARRASSING

2011-10-29T08:44:00.000-04:00

SOMEONE HAS TAKEN MY EMAIL ADDRESSES
AND SENDING OUT PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL
LIKE IT IS FROM ME
SEVERAL HAVE CALLED ME
SO SORRY IF YOU RECEIVE THIS LINK
DO NOT OPEN

Evening Smile

2011-10-28T05:30:00.006-04:00

After a long day I am
reading my youngest daughter's entry
on Vicks Vapor Rub. She shares memories
about special childhood scents.

Yes, Vicks is still comforting to her mom.

Reading her comments
She made me smile
she wrote that whenever she smells Murphy's Oil Soap
it reminds her of me .

Well my older daughter's have said when
they smell L'Air Du Temps by Nina Ricci
and Vita Bath, memories of mom arise.

I have memories of Joy and the wonderful scent of roses.

Of course when they were growing up
it was a different lifestyle. Mom was more
sophisticated. So guess my
youngest with her and I in the old farmhouse
she has memories of mom cleaning, gardening
and the special animals we raised.

Might add that I recently found Vita Bath on
Amazon and ordered. First time in probably
25 years. Guess I deserve the treat :)
It is amazing - with this country
water that is hard and a person who loves
a wonderful warm bath - this product is
great. Added perk - your tub practically
cleans itself - never a ring
Also the scent is so fresh....

http://blondemomblog.com/

My Rabbits Foot Fern

2011-10-27T15:00:00.004-04:00

I have brought the last of my plants inside from the screen porch.
This Rabbits Foot Fern has traveled with me for years from home to home.
Even though I have read they can tolerate the low teens in temperature
I just feel better with it inside.
In a few days I will put it in the garage.
When it is time to once again put on the porch
it will look like it is almost dead.
In a short time it comes back to life.

Are we sometimes like this
maybe thinking we can just not make it
it is near the end
and then
we come back to life....

~~In fall
the cricket beneath the rose bush watches
We call this time of year
the beginning of the end of another circle,
a convenience
and nothing more.
For the cricket's song is surely a prayer,
and a prayer, when it is given.

This is a truth I'm sure of,
for I am older than I use to be,
and therefore, I understand things
nobody would think of
who's young and in a hurry,
The snow is very beautiful,

Under it are the lingering petals of frangrance,
and the timeless body of prayer ~~

In part from ~~The Cricket and the Rose ~~ Mary Oliver

Another Old Barn

2011-10-26T16:00:00.001-04:00

Trip to the big city this morning
As I stood looking out the 8 th floor window
wish my camera was not in the car.
The Nashville skyline
the one one I left over 2 years ago
looked beautiful.
Good news about hearing test.
Has been 8 years and my hearing has
improved.
12 years ago while caring for my mother
lost hearing in right ear. Went through a lot
of tests and MRI and they could find nothing
unless it was because of a virus.
Driving home
pass so many old barns and was able
to take another pleasing image.

When I download the image
it seems to look so much more
beautiful then what I see with my naked eye
Wonder why?

Excitement In The Cottage

2011-10-25T06:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday.....

I always keep the screen door propped open
so Callie can come in and out.
Opened the door and like times
in the past a small bird was on the porch.
Sad, just flying from one end to the other
and hitting against the screen.
Picked up my butterfly net and was trying
to catch it - when I noticed the door to
the cottage was still open.
So, a bird is in the house.
She (will name her this) flew against the
window in kitchen and as luck would have it
on she flew into my utility room and
I quickly shut the door.
Opened that door which goes into
the garage. Opened garage door
and out she went.

I know there is someone watching over me.

If the bird had stayed in the house with these
high ceilings
I can just image a mess and maybe some damage...

Old Barns

2011-10-24T05:30:00.006-04:00

This old barn is still standing
in a field
on a country road that I drive
about once a week.
I always feel a sense of sadness
as I view it.
In past years a beauty
and still beautiful to me.

So many stories you could share.
Now with years of neglect
who knows how much longer
you will still be proudly standing.

Always looking your way
while driving by.

Ever aware
road is winding and
always
glancing to see if there is
a car behind
or one approaching.

Finally was able to take a picture.
Hoping all along that I would
be safe
as I stood in the middle of the road.

The thought
when one has a passion for
the camera and the excitement
it brings from a good shot -
chances are taken.

A Reminder From "Beads of Wisdom"

2011-10-23T05:25:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, the twice a month
4 hour outside help was late.
Since my day begins at 4:30 in the morning
1:30 my slow down begins.
They did not arrive until almost 3:00.
She has tried but never learned to
give instructions and let them carry on.
Always working almost side by side
with them.
But then more is accomplished this way.
When they left, her evening meal,
and after bath the pain began.
Neck, shoulders, knee, ankle and
she can hardly move.
Cleaning small garden, picking turnip greens,
walking the new clearing many times and
picking up limbs, raking leaves, shoveling,
putting summer items up off screen porch,

she brought this on.

So a new morning
she will move slow
may have to take something to
relieve pain is it does not go away.

Oh, this story is not new. This is a
repeat of hundreds of times over the years.
But now she is old and still has not
learned to pace herself.

There is a big difference in
doing all of this in your 50's and 60's
then when you have rolled past
your middle 70's.
But then in her mind - it is only
a number and really does not
describe this One Woman.

She is well aware that much she is
doing is really not that important.
So why - has she not learned?

Jan's words which are sent to me each morning
were especially meaningful this morning.
http://awakened-living.blogspot.com/.

Beads of Wisdom

October 23, 2011

Today ...
We know we should be kinder to and gentler with ourselves--as tender and loving to ourselves as we are toward others. But we're not. We may continue to push ourselves beyond all limits, strive for perfection, work too hard, play too little, and expect more from ourselves than we would ever expect from anyone else. As a result, we continue to exhaust, overwhelm, and burn out at an alarming rate. What can we do?
We can begin by setting healthy, new intentions for ourselves, though, truthfully, intentions are not enough. To make the shift from self-loathing, criticism, judgment or stinginess, actual baby steps are required--small acts of loving-kindness that jumpstart our self-worth. We deserve our own love.

"Beads of Wisdom" is a daily reminder for living compassionately with ourselves and others, sent in the spirit of Metta by Janice Lynne Lundy.

Spread loving-kindness and share this Bead with a friend or have her subscribe by visiting BuddhaChick.Org

Morning Fog As Day Breaks Into Sun

2011-10-22T05:15:00.000-04:00

Early morning fog
over the dried soybean field.
In hours a
sunny cool day.
Hoping for harvest soon
and planting of winter wheat.
The bright green field would
be a delight to view
through the winter snow
instead of a clear earth field.
But then both are beautiful
in their own way.

I guess just like each of us ....

For a change, do nothing.
Do it without fear.

See how in doing nothing,
everything is somehow done.

Words from ~~The Mystic Garden~~ by Gunilla Norris

Painting In The Sky

2011-10-21T06:00:00.003-04:00

For a little over two years I have had the blessing of viewing the most beautiful sunsets
from the porch of my cottage.
Last night was a repeat performance
The images I capture with my camera
cannot convey the depth
of the beauty I see.
No words to share how these sunsets
speak to my heart and soul.

Ever thankful for this gift
in the last years of my life...

Beautiful

2011-10-20T13:29:00.002-04:00

Returning from errands
I stopped in the middle of
my country road
to take this image.

I found it breathtaking

A cool crisp day that
is real windy. Soon hours
spent gardening
I can spend inside. I miss
being able to
curl up in my leather chair
with a book

Soon a time for
needed rest....

Purple

2011-10-19T05:30:00.003-04:00

I love the color purple.
This is one of my favorite Fall plants.
The purple Aster was named "the last flower of summer"
by a dear friend who passed away about 15 years ago.
She shared this with me almost 30 years ago and I have
taken a piece of it from home to home over the years.
I have shared it with many people and it never fails to
grow and spread.   Plan on planting it all over these woods.
It has now returned home to where it began growing for me.

A cool and misty rain morning.  The rain will help settle the dust.
Hopefully I soon feel better
from allergy symptoms that have plagued me since I did a lot
of mowing of leaves in the dry woods.   It was like driving
through a fog and I should have known better.
With Sjogrens and constant dryness in eyes
and mouth it makes the allergy symptoms a lot worse.

Wishing you happiness, health, safety and peace

this very day.

Greenhouse Morning

2011-10-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

For many years I wanted a greenhouse.
After moving to the farm house
a local store had one they no longer wanted
Excited and a lot of thought about purchasing
and having it moved to the farm.
Now it was big.
As I became more knowledgeable I realized
about the work and upkeep involved.
Cooling in the summer
and heat in the winter. There was enough
for One Woman to do with children, home,
vegetable garden, fruit trees and flower garden.

Still I have always been fascinated by them.

My dear friend has many greenhouses next
to her farm.   I remember about 20 years ago
when this business began.   Now it is huge and
supplies to many local and nationwide big
stores.

She has been wanting me to visit with her to
see the operation.   Having viewed it from
the road I really did not want to do this.
I already knew in my mind what I would see.
But she request so little of me and does
so much for me that this morning belonged to her.

It is rare she can leave her home. A bedridden
husband that most would have in a nursing home.
She is a 24 hour caregiver for this 88 year old
Help does come in for several
hours a day to help and for her to run errands.

I saw hundreds  of plants and thousands
of poinsettia's ready soon for the Christmas
holiday.

No way for me to put into words how this
business has grown. Greenhouse after greenhouse
and row after row of huge trucks to transport
them to their location.

I soon might receive some pansies that were
beautiful. My favorite color of different shades
of purple and maybe a yellow or white plant
tucked in.

Introduced to the owner who rode up on some
kind of cart with a huge black dog sitting
beside him.

As he talked and shared
I found myself absolutely fascinated by this
man who will leave for Holland next week
with a trip to Haiti afterwards to visit his farm
in that land

On my drive back to the country
a voice seemed to speak to my heart
and what I heard
made me smile
the words were clear..
"your not dead yet."

But then the thought came to mind
it was not necessarily this man that
I was fascinated with
but the whole package.
He was part of a more worldly
lifestyle and it reminded me of
years in the past when I
enjoyed much the world had
to offer.

But at the moment I will take the
woods, dirt, gardening, Miss Callie
and my small cottage.

One more day and some thoughts from One Woman who lives in the woods....

My Old Farm Home

2011-10-15T06:00:00.002-04:00

This entry was posted almost 3 years ago.
The visit that brought about the desire to return home to the woods.
Construction on my present cottage began in a couple of months, the city home
was sold and the
rest is history.
I am home.......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday was a perfect October day. I wanted to drive to the country and walk in the fields and part of the woods. My son volunteered to drive. We drove past my old farm home. She proudly stands. I remember so well that she did not look like this when I purchased her. She looked like a home that was ready to be torn down. Paint peeling, porch post sagging, roof leaking and on and on. But I recognised that she had "good bones". Several people made the comment "what are you wasting your time for, that homes needs to go". No way I replied. The home was restored, remodeled and a great room and kitchen added on the back of this home. There will be stories and pictures as times goes on. I talk so much about this home I wanted to post a picture of her.

This was the home that I came to 30 years go. A home that my older grandchildren remember.

The home where my youngest daughter grew up. A home where I healed and was almost reborn. The beginning of who I am today. If that makes sense.

Yesterday I was able to walk in the fields and the woods of the land I still own. As I stood under the towering trees and sensed the stillness my eyes filled with tears. I could visualize the seasons, the wild life and the emotion pierced my heart. My thoughts are filled with clearing a spot and making a retreat that I could go to in the Spring and Fall. Summer is out because of the thick growth and ticks and poison ivy. Yes, poison ivy. I had it every year of living in the country.

We visited the small local town and drug store. They have the best sandwiches and milk shakes in the country. Some errands and I headed for home. The thoughts continually in my mind that this was the best gift my son could have given me. His time

Just a preview entry of my previous day. The thought comes to mind that I believe in miracles

Some thoughts from this One Woman on Her Journey Through This Life.

Afternoon In The Woods

2011-10-13T17:14:00.002-04:00

Leaves are starting to fall
a ride through the woods
with blade on high and spinning
blows them off the paths.

Callie runs ahead
not a bird or critter in sight
wonder where they are

Found a handful of dill among
the herbs for
salmon that is cooking
and another dozen small turnips

Thinking I am easy to please....

Some More Off To Do List

2011-10-12T17:35:00.002-04:00

Another Fall day
Truck serviced
car serviced last week
A new stop
pumpkin latte at Dunkin Donuts
my youngest daughter said "try it"
it was good
Small harvest of turnips
October roses
Because it is the kind of day
that I feel wonderful and
think anything is possible

I picked up a form for a passport....

What Do I See

2011-10-11T16:41:00.000-04:00

Looking out my kitchen window
it seems
the leaves turned
this beautiful color
over night....

On This Day

2011-10-09T15:30:00.001-04:00

Blessed be the mind that dreamed the day
The blueprint of your life
Would begin to glow on earth,
Illuminating all the faces and voices
That would arrive to invite
Your soul to growth.

Blessed be those who have loved you
Into becoming who you were meant to be,
Blessed be those who have crossed your life
With dark gifts of hurt and loss
That have helped to school your mind
In the art of disappointment.

On this echoing-day of your birth,
May you open the gift of solitude
In order to receive your soul
Enter the generosity of silence
To hear your hidden heart;
Know the serenity of stillness
To enfolded anew
By the miracle of your being.

For Your Birthday by John Donohue

On this day nothing real special
just my day
another year older
lunch yesterday
lunch today
two daughter's and two granddaughter's
bringing love and smiles
on the big table cards from across
the miles...

Sitting with a book and Miss Callie
by the fire pit
Leaves are falling
My kind of day.....

Who Found Who

2011-10-06T16:00:00.000-04:00

I wonder
35 years ago
did I find you
or did you find me?

Two years ago
moved back to this property
to carve a plot in these
overgrown woods
No plans of much clearing
just thick woods almost
outside her door.
But One Woman likes
to create and a vision
came to mind.
Anyone that knows her
well is aware nature is her calling/
First some woods in back
of cottage was cleared.
This Spring some land
next to drive approaching
cottage.
Now
the far side has been finished.
Remains of what was cleared
for a dwelling were
huge piles of brush and tree tops
This now a beautiful site for the eyes.
Huge hole dug and all debri pushed in
and then burned. Before workers
left yesterday all the dirt was filled
in the hole.
Also made a wide path where
truck can be driven.
Who else would be so excited
over the wonderful dirt that
continues to be uncovered.
So rich and it can hardly be
imagined the hundreds of years
of layer after layer of leaves
forming rich earth.
Could anyone have loved it
like this one.
I have heard rumors of Indians
once camped in these woods.
I know it served them well.
Handwork continues
many limbs and small branches
need to be picked up
so mower runs smoothly.
But there is no hurry...
Soon the bare earth will
be covered with leaves.
Wonder what plants,
birds and animals will
emerge through the seasons
Can view them through
the window
or if I am outside.

Sometimes the thought will surface
"am I in Heaven?"

A huge bees nest was discovered so

so glad it was found.

Put small red flags around it

as a warning...

Lucy

2011-10-06T07:00:00.000-04:00

New member of family
http://serotoninforbreakfast.com/

Sarah enjoy
Lucy.....
Love, Grandma

Shadows In October

2011-10-04T05:00:00.002-04:00

The October sun is streaming
through different windows.
Love the shadows
there was a time I would
cover furniture.
Not now
This chair is one of a pair
serving me well for
almost fifty years
They are worn,
faded and comfortable
Full of memories of
different lifestyles.
They were perfect for
the most elegant homes
and now this simple
woods cottage.
I like them just the way they are
They remind me of my

life at this time...

She Comes By It Naturally

2011-10-03T16:18:00.003-04:00

My daughter just sent me this picture of my youngest granddaughter reading at the breakfast table this
morning.
The first picture was taken a year ago.
All of my children and grandchildren love to read.
This trait gives me so much pleasure.
Puts a smile on my face
after a night filled with stomach upset,
day at dentist, flu shot and on and on.
The day in the woods has ended....

Bush Hog Work

2011-10-02T16:47:00.001-04:00

This is a project I was not going to do.
Along the drive approaching cottage
this area was thick with undergrowth.
Pleased with the outcome.
Beginning to look like a park.
Next many small limbs and branches
will be picked up and some trees
trimmed - maybe I will be
able to drive my small lawn tractor
over this area.
Now I really do not need to do this
have enough to do.
But it can be cut once a year
with the big mower to keep it tidy.
A bush hog can do a tremendous
amount of work in a few hours.
Will be exciting to see what wild flowers
emerge next Spring.

Yesterday

2011-10-02T06:19:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was a busy day
seems most of my days are filled
with outside work
but would have it no other way.
Bush hog arrived and more land
edging the woods was
cleared of underbrush.
Ready for the Spring
wild flowers to emerge.
More birds are returning to feeders.
It seems that yesterday it
was summer.
Winter clothes have replaced
the summer apparel on the shelves.
This morning a few degrees from
frost and a heavy sweater feels good.
Leaves are not showing their
brilliant colors
but soon they will be glorious.
Thoughts that it will not be long
that another year ends
and a new one begins.
It seems yesterday I was young
and now old.
Why is it when I was young I
seemed old and now that I am
old the spirit is so young.
Very aware that yesterdays were so
much more abundant
then the days remaining.
Ever thankful this early morning that
I am granted this new day and
I am Home...,.